The Cured

Chapter 23

But do you really wanna be alone?

~•~ Chapter 23 ~•~

I leaned against the railings on the top balcony, the cool breeze gently rubbing my skin. It was dark, bed time and the lads were all resting. It was my watch tonight and it was quiet colder than yesterday so I had my warm red sweater on with my grey leggings and black sneakers. I looked ahead at the multiple tall trees and the dark grey clouds gathering around. It seemed so peaceful, so natural. But everything normal here, felt terrifying. The sound of the river could be hardly heard from the cabin, but it was a faint sound. It was quiet and calm. My gun was steadied against the railing next to me. I had my mask on so I could have a full night vision if anything suspicious appears. I've been up here for three hours now and thankfully, nothing has happened.

My mind kept drifting away at the place we left Ashton. This is exactly what I've been fearing of. Death. The chance of not seeing one of these guys ever again. The chance of witnessing their horrible deaths without me being able to do anything. I wish I could go back and do much more than I did. I could have done something, anything, to save him. I could've taken out my katana and murdered all those panthers in a matter of seconds.

But I didn't.

And I hold a great deal of regret and pain inside of me.

He wanted to help me and Harry and in the end, we left him back to die.

Tears burned the back of my eyes and instantly rolled over my cheeks. I don't know how I am going to get through this guilt. I have seen my sister die, one of my best friends, Chris, die, and yet I am not sure how I will manage to avoid the pain and forgive myself one day.

I don't even know if there is anything left of him. I hardly believe there is. He got eaten alive and I didn't have the strength to shoot him to put an end to his misery. I am the worst friend in the world and I wish that would've been me instead of Ashton. He didn't deserve that pain or terror.

The sound of the balcony door sliding open made me to instantly wipe away my tears. Louis came outside, a cigarette between his lips, his gun in his hand. He was wearing a warm black hoodie with black sweats and grey washed off Nikes. "I brought us snacks." he said, slinging the strap of his backbag over his shoulder and dropping it on the floor. He left his gun beside him and took a hint from his cigarette.

"Great." I mumbled, checking my cheeks with my fingers to make sure I hadn't left a trace of tear on my skin.

"I got us croissants, some water, fitness bars and I stole a chocolate bar from Liam," he chuckled as at the end as he picked the snacks out and showed them to me.

I let a small laugh, "You just never quit messing with him, do you." I shook my head in amusement.

"Nope," he replied proudly. "What do you want love?" he asked, looking up at me with his baby blue eyes.

"A croissant, for now." I replied easily, holding my hand out.

He handed it to me and got one for himself. We ripped the package open and ate our snacks in silence. I wasn't really in a mood for much talking after today's incident. I preferred being drifted away in my own thoughts, although they were hurting me more and more by the second. Louis smoked his cigarette and gazed away, clouded in his own thoughts. It was a very comfortable silence though and I appreciate it a lot.

The clouds lit up with a powerful lighting piercing through momentarily before a loud thunder echoed in the sky. "Ah great," Louis sighed, running a hand through his hair.

The air got even colder and I shivered. "We're going to catch a cold if the weather keeps getting worse." I muttered, wrapping my arms around me.

"We might die before we catch a cold, Claire." he said flatly, leaning against the railing. My heart sank at his words, mostly because he was right. I looked at him with a frown on my face. He twirled the cigarette between his fingers loosely, "Let me tell you what, I'd rather die out of a bullet or a fucking animal than turn into a zombie." he admitted, smoke coming out of his lips as he spoke.