No Regrets (A Larry Stylinson Student/Teacher Fic)

Chapter 45

Harry's POV

The end of high school was drawing nearer by the minute, meaning our performance wasn't too far off either. I'd practically tortured myself trying to perfect my role, I'd kept myself awake until early hours of the morning repeating my lines over and over. In school I'd seclude myself from everybody and sit in the library repeating the same actions. Niall and I hadn't spoke, he was still going strong with Liam (presumably) and only spoke to me when we were rehearsing in lesson. I was struggling without him but I couldn't bring myself to ask him to help me, I'd build up my confidence and get ready to talk to him, but it would all disappear when I saw him with his other friends. He'd become pretty popular and I felt like nothing compared to him, just like I did with Zayn. He'd abuse me whenever he had the chance and like the fool I was, I'd just stand there and take it. It felt like I had nothing to fight for inside, I just wanted to get high school over and done with and start fresh elsewhere. I'd been in contact with Gem and if I was certain about starting fresh, I could go and live in Amsterdam with her. She has a house which she shares with a university friend, but there is room for more. So I could apply for a college there and begin a new life.

A part of me craves that so bad, I'd do anything to be happy and make the most out of my life as a teen (before university). Yet there's a part of me that would miss home, I'd be leaving my mum behind and almost all of my childhood. I was unsure whether she'd cope on her own, after she was left by my dad I never wanted to leave her side. I'd come home every day and spend hours with her, comforting her or playing games to try and keep her mind off the loss. Some days it felt like I was the parent but I hated seeing her suffering. I was scared that if I left, she would relapse again. 

*present day*

It was the third day of Louis' book tour and he was in Doncaster, I'd planned to go and queue up to meet him. I'd picked out my outfit and showered, but I couldn't do it. I'd leave the house and begin my walk to town, but then I'd realise how stupid I was being and turn back to go home. My mind couldn't make a decision, so I found myself in town but on the opposite side of the venue for Louis' signing. The queues were high already but I couldn't bring myself to take my own spot, so I didn't. I sat in the cafe nearby to see if I could catch a glance of him. It wasn't my brightest idea, I knew seeing him would tear me apart again but I needed it. He was like my addiction, the more you try and avoid it, the more you crave it. Alcoholics crave alcohol, drug users crave drugs, me? I craved Louis. The man who came into my life just to teach, but took my heart and disappeared with it. It sound so cliche but I'm falling apart without him and there was no helping me. I traced my finger round the rim of my cup as I waited for the doors to open to reveal Louis, the crowd outside began to get a lot noisier and my palms quickly became sweaty. I wiped them on my trousers and tried to control myself, I felt like I was in the early stages of a panic attack. The room was getting hotter and I was getting more and more dizzy, but I closed my eyes and managed to keep my breathing under control. When I opened my eyes all of the people in the queue to meet Louis were shuffling in their places, standing on their tiptoe's to see if they could get a glance. I bit my lip as the security came and placed their hands on the doors, this was it, he was going to come out and I was going to see him. I stood up quickly, making sure I didn't knock my drink and moved forward. I had a perfect view of the doors and the crowds outside were cheering and clapping, then it happened. My life saver walked out of the doors, he looked amazing. He was smiling widely, grinning at all of his fans. He was wearing a pair of skinny jeans and his grey marvel top (his love for superheroes was obvious) and his hair was swept up out of his face, but it wasn't a quiff. I couldn't believe how beautiful he looked, my heart was aching at the sight of him but I couldn't stop staring. He waved at all of his fans and grinned at a few of the ones, then he began scanning the shopping centre around him. I stayed frozen in my spot as his eyes flashed over to me, he tilted his head but smiled and turned away. He picked up his book and held it up to him, smiling widely as the paps and newspaper reporters snapped his picture. I felt a warm sensation inside, I was so proud of him. Life had practically kicked him in the ... and he had managed to stay happy and do something he was happy about. I, on the other hand, had fell apart. I took one last look at him before he was escorted back inside and placed behind the signing desk, the thought of getting in the line to see him seemed better and better but I couldn't do it. I knew I couldn't. 

After searching through a few shops debating whether or not to buy Louis' book (I didn't in the end), I trudged home in the pouring rain. I passed random faces and thankfully didn't see anybody I knew, I couldn't quite tell what I was feeling. I felt happy and relieved because I'd seen him, but a part of me was full of regret for not getting into the queue and meeting him. I didn't want to look stupid in front of him if I started crying, so it was better to stay away. I arrived at home and headed straight upstairs and stripped out of my wet clothes, I ran a hot bath and clambered in. I let my head fall back and I lay and relaxed for a pretty long time, I was disturbed by my mum knocking on the door stupid amounts of times to tell me that I had a package. I finally got out of the bath and changed into some football shorts, I checked the time on my phone and frowned. 7:23pm. Why would a package arrive at this time? I ran down the stairs and took it off the kitchen side, it was a brown box with 'Harry :)' on the front. I sat down and slowly removed the tape, setting it down next to me as I cautiously opened the box. When I finally pulled it open I frowned, it was Louis' book. My mum entered the kitchen and I held it up,

"Did you order me this?" She shook her head,

"No, I promise." I sighed and held it firmly, I hadn't ordered it. Maybe Niall had for a joke. I opened the first page up and my eyes widened, it was signed and sent by Louis himself.

'Haz,

I saw you earlier, thank you. I thought you deserved this, please be strong. I hope you enjoy it.

Lou xx'

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i am really sorry that this took so long to update I was trying to get it all okay and then i had college stuff :|

so yeah, louis gave harry a signed book :O 

do you think it was the right thing to do?

thoughts on larry/niam/zayn?