Coffee, Brownies and the Ruthless CEO (MxM)| FILLING THE VOID series, BOOK 1

33. Chapter - Sudden Enlightenment

VICTOR's POV

I couldn't believe he just said it. We were sitting in a café, and he just went ahead and said it. I expected it would take a lot more to make him spill the beans. If anything, based on our previous interactions, I thought Oliver would make a huge deal about it. The fact he decided to do it so out of nowhere, without any preparation, caught me off guard. I wasn't sure I was ready for this.

To hell with it, I knew I wasn't ready for it.

I looked from Ollie to Matty, both of them staring at each other with huge eyes, and all I could think about was running away. I could see Matt's expression changing into many different ones, his emotions visible on his face clear as day. It was surreal, seeing his face so similar to mine make so many different expressions; expressions I was sure I wasn't capable of anymore. He was innocent and pure, and I was suddenly feeling extremely anxious about the whole situation.

The reality hit me hard. Matthias was still a little child. And even though he was my child, and I would love to get to know him and shower him with affection, there was one obstacle in my way. I felt like punching myself for not realizing it earlier.

The fucking paparazzi would eat him alive. The moment the press found out I had an illegitimate child, with a man on top of that, they would leap at the chance and ruin his whole childhood and Oliver's life as well.

Why was I realizing this only now? Why didn't this occur to me before I started this stupid thing? I couldn't just let them ruin this angle's life. He was far too innocent to be able to deal with it.

My mind going into different direction and ugly thoughts starting to come up, everything was forgotten when Matt turned to me, his wide eyes shining with interest. I could see he wasn't as shocked as I would expect him to be in a situation like this, and it gave me hope I wasn't sure I wanted. Not after my sudden enlightenment a minute ago. How the fuck did my mind change in a matter of few seconds? Was this what being a parent was about? Was I going to turn into an indecisive and scared nitwit?

Looking at him, I felt like an absolute idiot for feeling this way, and his next words just added another nail to the coffin.

"Are you really my dad?" he asked, voice full of wonder and excitement. I had his whole attention, and I was suddenly nervous all over again. I couldn't muster my courage to speak up. What was I even supposed to say? What was the right thing to say to a child that just met one of their parents for the first time? Was he going to accept me just like that? Was it really that easy?

I couldn't believe I was actually scared of a five year old child, but it was the sad reality. I was scared shitless, and it was probably visible on my face because Oliver decided to speak up and, surprisingly so, help me.

"Vic," he said, my eyes snapping in his direction. He was looking at me with a weird expression on his face, and if I didn't know better, I would think he looked almost sympathetic.

"Just talk to him." He nodded towards Matt with a soft smile, patting his head.

I looked back at the small boy in front of me, inspecting every part of his face so I could remember even the slightest detail, such as a mole he had next to his right ear. He was really perfect, and the photo definitely didn't give him enough justice.

"I-" my voice got stuck in my throat, and I had to take a deep breath to be able to speak again. The thought of me being so nervous about talking with a child was ridiculous. I was used to speaking to huge amounts of people in front of me. I was used to talk to our rivals or straight up enemies without any trouble. If any of them saw me at this moment, they would die out of laugher or some shit like that.