Chapter 16: Snow White and My Prince.

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Chapter 16

When I was spent, having nothing left in me to let out, I pulled away from him and he let me. I didn’t feel lighter, didn’t feel as if a load had been lifted, I just felt tired and worn; like if I had to deal with much more tonight I’d crumble. The large bed in the center of the room wasn’t particularly inviting, but hiding away under the piles of blankets and soft pillows for a few hours sounded like a good idea.

I couldn’t look at Rien after all the embarrassing shit I’d just pulled, but I sensed it when he followed me across the room and when I entered the bathroom I glanced up briefly to see him leaning against the door frame, watching, waiting; for what? I didn’t know.

I turned on the faucet and guided the ice cold water to my face, even going as far as to dunk my head under the pipe so that it sloshed into my hair and cooled my heated skin. When I was done, I didn’t bother with the towel hanging on the rack only an arm’s length away, instead I pushed past Rien and entered the room, dripping everywhere.

I pulled off my shirt, dropped it into a nearby chair and climbed into bed, burrowing myself under the covers, shutting out everything around me.

I could still feel him though, somewhere in the room; watching over me like he used to do long ago, only this time I didn’t like it. It didn’t bring me comfort, nor did it ease my fears.

“I should have realized how much my leaving would have affected you.” His voice interrupted the silence and I closed my eyes, listening to him as he said his piece.

“I wish I could tell you that I really would have done things differently had I the chance to change it, but I refuse to lie to you.” He continued and I wished the damned ache I still felt in my chest would go away.

“I chose to return only when I believed you were ready, when you would know your own worth and stop trying to destroy yourself, and when you would no longer feel the need to rely on me as much as you did.”

“You needed the Army Tony.” He said then and I pulled the covers away to look at him. He stood by the window, looking out into the darkness with his hands clasped behind him.

“I needed you.” I corrected and he shook his head and turned to look at me; a small smile playing on his lips.

“I stand here and I see the man you have become. I see your strength and I see the change in you. Everything you are today is a result of your own drive. You may have missed me, but you never needed me. What you have accomplished proves that, and I am proud of your achievements.”

I couldn’t deny the sincerity of his words. I saw it in his expression and I heard it in his voice. He always had more faith in me than I had in myself...back then it was a pain in my ass, now I didn’t know how to feel about it so I rolled away from him, staring up into the ceiling in silence.

I’d be lying to myself if I said I didn’t get why he left. By bringing up the past he made me remember things I hadn’t really given much thought to in years; like the way I used to be; angry all the time, always searching for trouble, trying to prove I was bigger than all the other assholes in my town.

Maybe Rien was right, maybe I needed a wakeup call, maybe it was the best way to set me on the right path, but it didn’t change the fact that it hurt like hell and that feeling could never be undone.

“You’re right.” I said after a moment. “I was a fuck up, I needed to change. I might not agree with the way it happened but it did, and I need to suck it up and move on.” I told him seriously.

There was a long breath of silence that passed between us, which I used to count the tiles in the ceiling, unwilling to think about what had just transpired.

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