Thinking Out Loud

Tangled [KH][Vanitas]

I am seriously obsessed with Maroon 5. Like it's probably not healthy. I need help.

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He had his fair share of regrets. One of them being the last fight he ever had with you. The one where he kicked you out of his life.

                “Leave me the fuck alone.”

                “Vanitas-”

“Get out!”

 

To say he was filled with shame didn’t even begin to cover it. His list of sins seemed never ending. Vanitas sank in his seat and readjusted the leg that was sprawled, under the table, in the seat across from him. The sun was beating down on his black hair, and the only comfort he took from the brilliant light were the sunglasses over his golden eyes. He was outside of one of the local cafes with a book spread out in front of him, but his eyes hadn’t focused on a single word in the last twenty minutes. They were too busy watching you across the street laughing with a group of familiar faces.

He watched as the red headed guy beside you laid his arm over your shoulder casually. Vanitas felt sick as you leaned into Reno’s side. It shouldn’t have bothered him. He broke up with you. He shouldn’t have been with you too begin with. Vanitas clenched his jaw and picked up the book, trying to make out a sentence.

It was hopeless though.

All he could think about was you. The last harsh words he had thrown at you. His glare as he forced you away from him. Vanitas couldn’t help but wonder if you ever thought about him. Did you ever turn to look for him only to realize he wasn’t there? It happened to him all the time. Did you notice his absence like he noticed yours?

“Here’s your drink.”

The cup was set on the table and the waitress left without another word. His eyes glanced down at the cup of iced water. Even if you did notice his absence, it would have to stay that way. Vanitas didn’t deserve to see you again, he didn’t deserve the chance to show his face to you.

Things hadn’t been so bad midway through the relationship. It was rocky of course, sharp around the edges, but you always knew the right thing to say.

“Ok, so we’re having some problems. That’s what’s supposed to happen, Van! It’s not going to be perfect. We’ll fight, we’ll make up, things will be ok.”

“So we just live our lives like a broken record? Fight, make up, fight, make up?”

“Yeah, because there’ll be good times between each fight that make it more than worth it. We’re worth it, Van.”

 

There was nothing left for him to say to you. Nothing you’d want to hear or know. It would just remind him of how shameful he had acted, of how cowardly. You may have knew the right things to say, but he sure as hell didn’t.

His eyes glanced back up to see the group standing to leave. Reno leaned over and whispered something to you. Your eyes lit up and you laughed with a shake of your head. He began to laugh as well and Vanitas’ blood boiled.

You had been new in town. An innocent who didn’t know that he should be avoided at all cost. You got tangled in his life from the moment he met you. Didn’t you have any idea of self-preservation? There should have been alarm bells or something. You should’ve been warned that he was nothing but a bug. An insect that was out for his own, that was out to do what he needed to do to stay afloat in life even if it meant sinking his neighbor.

Something crashed into his back sending his glass to the floor. It shattered and the liquid doused the bottom portion of his jeans. He spun around with a glare only to see an unfamiliar girl with big [e/c] eyes and a look of embarrassment.

“I am so sorry.” You breathed, “I’m a total klutz.”

“No kidding.” He snapped and shook some liquid off his foot.

You shook your head, “Here, let me buy you another drink.”

“That wont change the fact that my jeans are soaked.” He grumbled unhappily.

“Probably wont change your surly attitude either, but I’m not a miracle worker, man.” You replied with a smile before ordering the same drink he dropped. It took him a moment to register your words. You glanced back at him after giving the cashier money, “My name is [Name]. I’m new to town.”

“Does it look like I give a fuck?”

“No, but you look like the guy whose gonna give me a tour of the town.”

 

Vanitas let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding. His eyes watched as you left the area behind the others. You paused briefly and glanced over. Your eyes landed with his just like they had forever ago when the two of you first met. It was different this time though. You should know better by now.

‘Turn your head and run.’ Vanitas thought, ‘Don’t look back, [Name]. Don’t look back.’

You gave him a small smile before turning and following the others. He was hopelessly tangled up in you. His mind would never wander far from you or the deeds he sincerely regretted.