Thinking Out Loud

#2. Never

"You'll never amount to anything!"
Vanitas scoffed at the statement.
"Never mind! You can't do anything right."
He ignored them completely.
"Who would ever love you? You're a monster."
It hurt, but he'd never let it show.
"You'll never be cared about Vanitas."
It had hardened him. Years of this had formed him into he was today.
"You're such a failure."
He was sick of them all. People wondered why he had shut himself away from the world and this was why. He'd rather be known as cold and distant than as one of them. The world was unjust in its judgment of people. He wasn't like straight-A, hardworking Riku so that made him lazy. Vanitas wasn't athletic as Zachary Fair or Cloud Strife and that made him not worth anyone's time. He didn't reach out to those that needed help like Namine so that made him mean. Didn't they see he needed help? Couldn't anybody see that Vanitas was the one that needed an outstretched hand to pull him out of the hole he was in?
It was too late now. Years of keeping to himself and negative words had made him bitter. Vanitas didn't need their help. He didn't need their sympathy or pity. He could take care of himself. All Vanitas ever needed was himself.
"Never give up stupid!"
The first words you yelled at him shocked him from his usual dark demeanor.
"Geez stop smirking. Don't you ever really smile?"
You were sarcastic and wouldn't leave him alone no matter how many poisonous words he spat at you.
"Oh shut up. You're coming with me this Saturday to the movies."
You were as stubborn as Vanitas was. That irked him so much, yet he still hung around you. No matter how much he pushed you away. No matter how much he hurt you, you continued to hold on. Even when tears brimmed your eyes you didn't budge. The guilt Vanitas felt, the pain, at seeing you so defeated killed him inside, but he continued to throw negative words at you. That's all he had known. It was his only defense.
"Just stop it! You need help! I'm never going to leave you!"
You were that outstretched hand to him. Vanitas had finally found someone willing to dive down into this dark and painful hole he had buried himself in. The only question was if he was still human enough to be helped. Could he come back? Make a miraculous recovery? With you maybe it was possible. He could see the hope in your eyes. The joy that spread across your features every time he gave in and did what you wanted.
"Come on Vanitas."
Your outstretched hand was there. It lingered in front of him. A temptation. The ticket to a brighter future. One where he wasn't so broken. Where the pain was bearable because the promise of happiness always lingered. Vanitas just had to take it. Latch onto you just as you had done to him and not let go. Could he? Could he take that first step to being healed?
"Never."
The word burnt his tongue. The hurt look on your face as you hand limply fell to your side was like a stab to his heart. Vanitas scowled at your crushed features and turned away. How long would he have stayed healed anyways? How long until he would be hurt again? It would kill him this time. Vanitas wasn't strong enough for that first step to recovery. Especially since that first step was such a leap of faith.
"Never."