The Showman

The ending of ZooTV vs The Bucket list

It's Friday morning. Sunny wakes up and goes out for a run. Enjoying the colorful violet of the Jacaranda's trees and the smell of the salty river. She's making her mind about the next step she's gonna make. Her body is there, but her mind is somewhere else wondering and traveling around all the new things that might be coming. This is gonna be a different Friday.

On the other side of the world, there's our man. He's getting ready for his last show. The stadium is full, the band is ready and the crowd is exited waiting for a big night. He's nervous. This is special, it's the end of the tour, and that means is also the beginning of something new. He's excited about that, but also afraid of what may come. Almost 3 years passed since Ali's tragic destiny, but his wounds are still open. After those hard months he went into the studio and work hard to take all that shit out and turn it into painful and emotional songs. After the album, the tour came and he was focused on the shows, but now there was no album, no tour, not a thing. He had to find something new to take his mind away from the past.

Sunny was having a god Friday. While on work she decided to do a kind of a bucket list about the different things she wanted to do this next year. After some minutes, a few things were written on a little piece of paper.
1. Travel to Europe

2. Visit my friend Eli in Germany

3. Get new sexy clothes and a brand new look

4. NO study for this year, just enjoy

5. Fall in love

She knew the first 4 targets were easy to get. But the fifth one...That was the hard to get. Still she has a lot of faith in the year to come and that makes her happy.

It was almost 9 o'clock in Sydney, where ZooTV tour was ending. The lads were ready to take the stage in front of 80.000 exited people. Bono stands alone in his dressing room. He always wanted to be alone before a show, so he could concentrate on the performance and take the stage with the character he developed for the tour. This guy was called The Fly. Someone he swore he was never going to became. A selfish rock star that uses music to get drugs, alcohol, sex and fame. It was his deepest fear to become that character, but at the same time he felt away from all his problems when he was acting like him on stage. Girls and journalists loved him, but he couldn't help to hate him and enjoy him at the same time. Just a few minutes alone in silence were needed to turn Bono into The Fly. And then he is out. The Fly is flirting with women in the audience, drinking champagne on the middle of the show, dancing with sexy girls that his manager gets so he could "take away his pain".... But that happiness is a lie, a fantasy. It only lasts a show and then everything is over. Lights go down, the shouting from those 80.000 people turn to a screaming silence and then everything starts again.

The show is over. The tour is over. He's just Bono, the lad form the north side of Dublin again. The showman is out.

He goes back to his dressing room to get ready for the after party, even though he doesn't want to go.

Adam, Larry and Edge meet him in the hall of a fancy hotel. Everyone is there. Manager, engineers, promotors, journalist, people that have been on the road with them for almost 2 years and the guests, of course, supermodels. He is really not interested in them at all. He feels nothing for those girls. They are sexy, yes, some of them really sexy, but no one is like the one he needs. He sees Ali everywhere and anytime and that hurts. Some of them even went directly to him and whisper in his year the nastiest things you will ever hear. He felt nervous, surprised and sometimes even socked when he heard those kinds of propositions. But still, he is a man and sometimes needs to take his head away of his heavy thoughts.

During the party Edge told Bono about a sexy girl. A beautiful blonde with a gentle smile and soft blue eyes. She was standing alone in the corner of the hall, looking nowhere. Wearing a long red dress, she was like a walking fire every man would love to turn off. Edge was totally out of his mind, looking at this amazing blonde girl, even his girlfriend Morleigh was shocked by her beauty. But for Bono it was just another girl, another night stand, another empty feeling.

The first shows of the tour, Bono refused to be with other girls, he just wanted to be alone and think of Ali. It was after a year of her passing, so his wounds were wide open still to be with someone else.

But he is a man, and felt the need of some action, so he thought that maybe being with other girls will make him feel less tense. That's when supermodels came in. After Adam, his best mate and bass player of U2, knew about this, he introduced some of his super sexy model friends to Bono. There were beautiful, sexy but still it was empty sex, with no feelings, all superficial, no bonding, no connection, he didn't even enjoy it. Bono did it to show specially Adam he was Ok and to take his mind out from his depression. But it didn't work at all. He felt guilt and betrayal... the feeling was awful.

But he knew he had to move on. There will be no other girl like Ali. Maybe he won't even find love again. Maybe lust is all he has left. And just thinking about it was distressing.

All this time he got to know himself a little bit better. He hates to be lonely, he loves love, he is an unsteady person and he needs others more than others need him. So yeah, he just discovered he found out who he really is. And that scares the shit out of him.