No More Goody Two Shoes [Emo Love Story]

No More Goody Two Shoes [Emo Love Story] 33

Chapter Thirty Three

Once again, I stared at the purple walls of confusion. Who knows what had happened between us. All I know, is that it was two weeks ago. I still go in his room at night to find out if he had snuck back in. I didn't know how long he would be gone. Maybe I would know if I were to actually read the letter he left. My parents got a letter as well. I was sure mine meant something all too different. 

Directions, maybe? To a place where he'd be? What if he was waiting there for me, each day to show up, and prove my love? How long will I be stubborn enough to not read his sloppy hand written letter. All I saw was my name, printed "Sammy". 

I had only fifteen minutes before my alarm would go off, well, Chase's alarm, since I had slept in his room. I looked at the note sitting on his night stand again. Picking it up, I felt sick to my stomach. Who knows what could happen to him out there. I held the letter close for a second, and put it back down. I didn't want to know yet. I need to give him time, I need to give myself time.

At school, Ivan was my new friend. Were Chase and I still together? It was a question I asked myself everyday, and then I'd ask myself, "do you really want to know?" and my answer would be yes, and my mind would yell at me, screaming for me to read his letter. It would give me all the answers. 

"So," Ivan smiled, "I've known you for three weeks now." 

"Mhm," I nodded as I wrote. 

"So, we're officially friends, right?"

"I thought we already had said we were officailly friends, like, last week." I glanced at him. "What are you getting at?"

"I'm getting at this whole Chase thing," He stared me down, he had sharp brown eyes which held almost a loving tint to them. "You know I've been dying to ask where he is, what he's doing, if he's in your life still, are you still dating?"

"Ivan," I mumbled, "I've told you everything I know."

"I know, but still. I want answers, too. You know how... You know how I like you," he said softly. "I think you're wonderful," he reached over and brushed his fingertips on my hand. 

"Didn't know that, but I guessed."

"What made you guess?"

"The fact that I like you," I mumbled, did I really even like him?  I didn't know. I liked the way he gave me attention, I liked the way he listened to me, even when I was ranting about Chase. 

"I need to know if I'm wasting my time," he said.

"It's not a waste," I said quietly.

"Then read the letter," he whispered. "Please."

"I don't know what he wrote," and frankly, I didn't want to know. I didn't want him to rant at me, about how we've changed. I didn't want to know. 

But at the same time, I'd die to hear his voice again. To love him, and sleep beside his warm body. I needed to see him again. I didn't want the letter to be a disappointment.

The bell sounded and I threw my stuff into my messager bag and stood up. Ivan grabbed my bag for me, just like Chase had. 

"You don't have to," I said. 

He smiled, "I want to." As we walked to my class (which had been happening since the beggining of this week), his hand brushed mine, and eventually he held it in his. I felt safe. 

"Can I take you out for dinner tonight?" He whispered as we stood in front of my class. I nodded lightly.

"I'm not really looking for anything serious," I looked up at him.