No More Goody Two Shoes [Emo Love Story]

No More Goody Two Shoes [Emo Love Story] 38

AUTHOR NOTE:

Hello! Greetings! Sorry for the delay!!! I completely forgot about this story... Whoops? I've been busy.

I'm having a VERY hard time trying to figure this thing out - the editing and adding a new part have changed dramatically and for some reason I can't copy / paste from Google Drive to this? I apologize in advance for any funky paragraphing or strange errors.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

 I don't need him. I don't want him. I don't need to see him. I don't want to see him. I don't want to ever be with him. I don't like him. I don't love him.  My throat closed. This is my night ritual. Convince myself he doesn't matter. I close my eyes, letting the collapsing feeling of my lungs overtake me. Tears spring out of my clenched eyes. He will never be back.

 I laid on my bed wrapped up in my blanket. I rubbed my face and muffled my sobs. It's been two weeks. Only two, My subconscious whispers. I whimper. Although this has happened three times before - his disappearance - I felt this one was real. He wouldn't be back. His blue eyes that forever will eat me alive simply by thinking of them.

My door flew open. My dad stood there, not entering. "Sam," he said as he flicked on the light. I stiffened and wiped my eyes fast and hard. He walked in a couple steps. "What do I need to do in order to help you?" He asked quietly.

 "Help me what?" I asked.

 "Sam," he repeated, "Every night, this is all I hear. Your crying, your sobbing, I want to say move on, Sam, but that's not going to help you." He sat on the end of my bed and rubbed my blanket-covered leg.

 "I'm fine," I smile at him, "I mean, it's only been two weeks..." I whispered. He looked pained to hear that, "I just need some time, you know." I added softly.

 His sigh sounded like he got hit by a train, "you have school tomorrow," he said softly and patted my leg before standing. "Night," he looked at me, "I love you, pumpkin," he said before shutting the door.

 My hand flew to my mouth as I continued my gut wrenching sobs. Get over Chase, my subconscious hissed harshly, He's gone, he doesn't want you. I sat up and, even though I swore up and down that I wouldn't do it, I grabbed the small teddy bear under my bed that Chase left behind. When I saw it sitting on my bed, two weeks ago, I tucked it under my mattress - I would leave it there, until now... I cuddled with that teddy bear through the night.

 Waking up was the hardest part. Crusty eyelashes and a pale white face. I held my breath when I saw I was death gripping Chase's old bear - just like every morning for the

past three months without him...  I squeezed it once more, and  brought

the teddy bear to my closet, and set it in an old shoe box. I won't be seeing