Forever BFFs [hs]

Chapter 33

"If we could only have this life for one more day

If we could only turn back time

You know I'll be your life

Your voice

Your reason to be

My love, my heart

Is breathing for this

Moment in time

I'll find the words to say

Before you leave me today "-One Direction❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

(A/N: Chose this song for this chapter coz this is da song that makes me cry the most even now, love the song, lyrics...)

(Estee)

Everyone was waiting impatiently for my answer, I couldn't take it anymore. Suddently, I heard the voice of the person who loved me the most after Harry in my head.

My mother!

Estee baby, be with Harry always, I'm so happy you found someone like him. Mommy loves you sweetheart forever!

I started crying more. I missed mom so much, wish she was here. She too always loved Harry like her own son. Now I couldn't take it anymore.

"Estee?"Zayn called me. I looked up at the priest and Zayn with a sorry look.

"No!"And the whole church was filled with shocked gasping from everyone. Zayn was the most shocked and looked like he was gonna break down but I didn't care that time, all I was needed, all I was thinking was Harry!

"What?"Zayn asked me, I looked crying

"I'm so sorry!"I told him and I ran away out of the church crying more and more. I wasn't going to marry Zayn, I just can't. I just realised I loved Harry not Zayn!

Why didn't I realise it before?

I was too depressed I didn't realise how far I ran with those heels and I didn't my feet hurting, it wasn't. I ran straight to Harry's house. To my surprise the entrance door was wide opened, Weird! I remember I closed ot when I left this morning. I entered the house and it was so silent.

"Harry?"I called him hoping he'll coke down. No response.

"Harry? Harry? it's me Estee!"I called louder but there was still no response at all, the house was like pin drop silence, literally. I was the one breaking the silence whenever I opened my mouth.

I started to get worried so I decided to check his room. Just as I thought, Harry was sleeping on his bed. He looked so cute, so peaceful. Too peaceful, too calm actually. Louis said he wasn't well.

"Harry!Harry!Wake up!"I shook him up but he wasn't moving damn, he was a really deep sleep.

"Hazzabear! It's me your Esteebear! I love you, not Zayn, I want you...Harry! Harry!"I kept shaking him but there was no response. When I looked closely at his mouth, it was wet, like water or something. There was some kind of ...oh my god...don't tell me this was what I think it is!

Pills! A lot of them,

There were pills on his neck and on the bed, why would he use so much of pills if he had a fever?

"Harry! What is this? Why would you use so much--"I stopped when I realise that people overdosed themseles when they want to kill themselves right? Oh no!

"Harry! Harry! Harry! Please talk to me! Harry! Harry! hazzabear!Please!"I shook him harder but he wasn't moving. I started crying like crazy, more than at the church, more than I cried for mom, more than ever.

"HARRY YOU CAN'T DIE!"I screamed crying like crazy on his chest. Harry 's dead, but why would he kill himself?

In his hand, I felt some kind of paper crushed, curiosity got the best of me so I took it and I realised it was letter.

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For me.

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Dear Esteebear,

I should first start with last night was amazing, it was the best night of my life. I'm writing you this letter to confess you something. Estee, ever since I met you I felt something in my heart that we'll always be together, i had a spark inside of me all this years. When you came back from New York, I was so happy and seeing you again, I wanted to always be there for you, not losing you again. Every single moment with you, in school, pick and dropping you to school, Nandos, the parc everything I'll never forget a single moment, not a single moment. Prom was really fun, I told you that nothing was better than going to the prom with our BFF well I meant it but a part wanted to be more than that. In American Idol, I couldn't stop thinking about you every rounds till our elimination. You're the reason I was motivated. So if Im famous now, thanks to you Esteebear. When you told me you were engaged to Zayn, to tell you the truth, never felt so heartbroken, not angry at you, I'll never be angry at you. It's just, Estee I always been in love with you, I always loved you really. I didn't tell you anything because I saw that you loved me as your bestfriend or brother, if you're happy that way, let it be. But after last night, I wish I told you long back. Last night was the best night of ny existence, I don't regret a single moment ever. I love you Estee , I always have and always will. I know I wont be alive when you're reading this, I'm sorry to leave you Estee, I know you're married to Zayn, live your life, be happy with him, your children later. Please don't do anything stupid please, for me! All I want, all I always wanted was you to be happy! Always the sweet, super cute, always smiling Esteebear I always loved and will always love. I'll always be watching over you, protecting. Just don't forget, I love you so much.

Your Hazzabear, Harry

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I cried harder and harder reading the letter taking the words to the heart. Harry loved me, Harry always loved me the whole time and he didn't tell ne anything! But that's what was so sweet, he didn't want to ruin our friendship because I loved him as a bestfriend. He thought and I thought too I loved him that way. Harry was perfect, he was the one for me, not Zayn!

I'm so stupid, why didn't I see it?

"Harry!!Harry!!!I love you!!!You should have told me!!!!"I cried harder. Harry can't die! I called the ambulance immediately, they took Harry and me to get in the van. I was letting go of Harry the whole time, I always caught his now cold hand in mine. Next call I made was Louis. I couldn't talk to Zayn, at least not now.

"Estee?Where are you?What the hell?"Louis yelled at me and I just bursted crying. He figured it out.

"Why are you crying?"Louis asked me,

"Come to St Elizabeth Hospital, I'll be there, call everyone!"I told him crying squeezing Harry's hand. Why was he so still? Harry!!! Harry!!!

"Why are you going there?"Louis asked me. I cried more.

"It's Harry...just...please come!"I cried like crazy amd cut the call.

God, bring me back my Hazzabear, the love of my life, my BFF, my everything.

(A/N I was crying the whole time, who cried? How was it?)