Home Is Where The Reaper Is | A Sons of Anarchy fanfiction

Chapter 18

Savannah POV:

Three days, that's how long it's been since I ended a life, since I killed the monster that was Mike. When Jax found me that night I could not control my tears as I cried loudly in his arms. Not because I was scared or because I felt remorse, because I felt numb and emotionless for taking the life out of a person's eyes. Even if that person was Mike, it didn't bother me and that's what frightened me the most. When Jax tried to comfort me he just made it worse, he was trying to defend my actions so I wouldn't feel bad, but I already didn't care. I was stronger than I knew and I distanced myself from my emotions to save my life without acting like a little bitch about it. I just hope I feel this disconnected from actions because Mike had caused me so much pain and in my subconscious I know he deserved it. I feel completely fine and unaffected by what I've done and I don't know if that's normal. I stirred in my bed turning on to my back and looking up to the ceiling. I haven't left my room since it happened and have been avoiding everyone except for my parents and Jeff. I couldn't see Jax, I wasn't ready, but today I promised he could come over. I know he's been worried but I can't shake the feeling he's going to stop loving me after this. Jax would be here soon so I decide I should get up and attempt to look presentable. I shower quickly and pull my dark damp hair into a long side braid. I brush a couple layers of mascara onto my eyelashes and outline my eye lid with black liner. I place both my hands on either side of the sink and look up at my reflection in my bathroom mirror, when I decide I am satisfied with my complexion I make my way back into my bedroom to pick out some clothes for the day. I throw on black leggings and navy blue camisole topped with a light grey cardigan. I roll up my sleeves as I make my way down the hallway and into the kitchen where my parents are both of course sitting at the table.

"Morning baby, how you feeling?" My mom asks a little too softly for her nature.

I smirk and scoff at her attempt at affection.

"I'm fine mom, no need to bring out that creepy voice you think sounds sweet."

My dad chuckles lightly as my mom looks displeased.

"That voice is fucking sweet." She says adding the needed Gemma profanity.

"Gem, who you trying to kid?" My dad says jokingly.

"You know what? Fuck you both; I'm going to the lot call if you need anything." She says smiling at us while she shakes her head.

"I forgot mom can't take jokes." I say to my dad as I prepare myself some coffee.

"Your mother can take a lot of shit... jokes not one of them." He laughs quietly. "I'm gonna head out too, Jax should be here soon though right?" He asks putting his arms through his cut that was hanging off the kitchen chair as he makes his way to the back door.

"Yeah, don't worry I'm fine" I assure as he opens the door but stops in his tracks.

"Cal-" He begins but I cut him off as I put my hand up signalling for him to stop talking.

"I'll call if I need anything." I say slightly smiling.

He nods and exits the house closing the door quietly. Before I hear the loud sound of his bike roar I hear one approaching in the distance. It must be Jax. I peek out the window as he parks on my driveway giving my father a nod as he drives away and Jax unclasps his helmet making his way to the back door. The door slowly opens moments later and the shaggy haired blonde enters through the door frame.

"Hi." He says simply shutting the door as he makes his way over to me.

"Hi" I say back as he reaches me and his hands wrap around my waist our foreheads now touching.