The Enki

Chapter 15

When I finally opened my eyes i realised I was in my room. I scanned the room to make sure no one was in here with me. Thankfully I was alone.

My brain was pounding against the side of my head. Pieces were falling back into place. The lies, the fight...Christophe lying so very still. I subconsciously reached out for him but couldn't feel him.

Tears began to well at the corners of my eyes. What had i done? His body never moved. The horror that i could have killed him hit me and i sobbed and sobbed.

I heard a small knock on the door and for a moment i thought that it might have been Christophe but if it was him i would have known.

I wiped my tears away and wrapped my duvet around me.

"Come in."

It was Magnus's bulk that took up the entire doorway.

"I heard crying are you alright?"

In any other circumstance i would have been embarrassed and denied my tears but I was just too upset.

Magnus hovered awkwardly at the door and backed up.

"I'm sorry I just thought..."

His voice trailed off and as he made a move to leave i called after him.

"Magnus...please...don't go."

He turned back and shut the door. He moved slowly as if testing my acceptance. Finally he sat down at the bottom of the bed causing me to rise slightly. He was so big, hopefully my bed wouldn't break, it was antique.

We sat just looking at each other in silence. He came to visit me, I wasn't going to be the first to speak besides he might tell me something i wasn't ready to hear.

Magnus broke the silence:

"Will you give me permission to make you feel better?"

My heart leapt at his words but then I realised he was talking about my emotions.

I nodded my head. If he was going to tell me that Christophe was dead i didn't want to feel it.

At first i never felt anything. His power sneaked into me and after a few minutes i felt my body relax and my heart beat slow down. It was so bizarre to smile but i couldn't help it. Magnus smiled back at me.

"Feel better?"

I nodded my head. If i was going to be told the bad news then it had to be now.

"Magnus tell me, is he dead."

Magnus burst out laughing and i rode it with him until my stomach hurt.

"Christophe isn't dead babe. He was hurt but more his pride than his body. It takes a lot to hurt us Tracey."

I was confused with him using my best friends name but then it clicked.

He was alive? I could have jumped up and down on my bed but not here in front of Magnus.

"Where is he? I can't feel him?"

Magnus looked apologetic.

"I'm sorry I guess he took off. Christophe is an impressive man and i respect him but he seems angry and uncontrollable. Im not sure of his intentions. This was not your fault."

I looked down at my hands. This was my fault.

Magnus reached towards me and his fingers stroked my cheek. Energy filled me and i felt my guilt ease.

It wasn't real though. Nothing could save me from my own negative feelings.

I pulled my face away and wrapped the duvet tighter around me. This conversation was over.

Magnus looked surprised but he hid it swiftly with a smile.

"You've blocked me. How"

"I don't know."

Truthfully i didn't. Maybe he wasn't strong enough to heal the loss i felt.

"It is very impressive from one so young."

So i was powerful and young. He was beginning to confuse me. I suddenly felt suspicious of him. I was alone in a room with a man i barely knew.

"I think you should leave."

I expected him to try something but he stood suddenly causing the bed to shift and for me to stop myself from falling.

He walked towards the door and then hesitated.

"I'm sorry Tracey...it's just...I've been alone for so long. An orphan. I felt from you the same. All I have ever wanted was to have a home. I thought that maybe..."

He shook his head then left shutting the door behind him.

I let out a breath i didn't know i was holding. Had I been wrong to tell him to go? The argument with Christophe had my emotions at breaking point I didn't know who to trust.

I felt something for Magnus and i was sure he did too. All I wanted was to have a home, to not be moving all the time. To be safe.

I was too quick to judge him. So suspicious of his intentions but he was just trying to help. To ease my pain. He was all i had left if Christophe never returned.

I pulled the duvet over my head and let myself cry. Why was my life so confusing.