The Enki

Magnus's Journal

I am making progress with Rose, though I know she avoids me. It is hard having to rely on the human side of me to read emotions. Confusing that one minute we are in each others arms the next there is a a distance between us. I have never had to work this hard and its perplexing.

The truth is, I can have her whenever I want. Growing up in Norway we were used to having woman rival us as warriors. They were our Queen's and we fought side by side. I have had many warrior loves in my life, many I have had to leave before they noticed that I hadn't aged. One thing that I am not used to is being refused by a woman. Woman were our equals in battle but not in the bed.

I am finding it hard to be so gentle with her. It's frustrating. Not because I need her so badly, I have other women to fulfil my needs, but purely because she does not want me. It hurts me. It annoys me that I try so hard and she cannot even stand to be near me.

The kiss we had was nice, but there was no passion behind it. She was kissing me out of necessity. I hoped to find common ground with her when we have talked about the importance of the Enki race but she does not care. She acts as though our mission is foolish, a non starter. What would she know? Has she spent hundreds of years searching for a cure, an answer?

Tharn cannot stand her attitude, truth is they are very similar. Stubborn and full of self righteous indignation. What can I hope to achieve if she cannot even find common ground with her own blood.

Amahle is my current love. She is a warrior of her country, and she rival's me in most things. I love a strong woman that matches me. Despite her warmth to Rose I know it hurts her that I am to be sealed to Rose. Tharn had hoped that we would have shared the Enki transition connection but Christophe got there first. Never mind. He will die soon. Then their connection will be severed and perhaps her heart will open to mine. Perhaps she will become my Queen, body and soul.

It seems strange to think that we will be sealed, a child to raise. Even the thought of a baby Enki makes me excited. It makes it worthwhile all the hassle. It makes me want to try harder.

Rose will come to see that once she holds her own baby in her arms, that this small inconvenience will be forgotten. And I can be kind, gentle. I would never hurt her, force her. She must consent whether she is up for it or not. We all have our duty to the Enki.

She said something strange the other day and it threw me a little. She felt my emotions, of that I am sure. She is not a very good liar. I have mentioned  to Tharn but he seems unbothered by it and assures me that it would be impossible. That only the pure power of the Mother could cause any disruption in his negative energy field.

I will keep an eye on her, even more so. Tharn may not see it, but she is powerful. I felt it the first time I met her. She seemed to hold the power of the strongest of Enki, and she welded her energy like she had mastered it centuries ago.

One thing is for sure. Tonight I will go to her. Tonight we will be sealed and then she will know what it is to be truly connected to me.