Dear Mum, you have been
The one who stuck by my side
Dear Daddy you have been
The man to hold me in times
Of trial and celebration
But today, I give up
Today I give in
Old friend, you were kind
The brother I wish I had
And you; who had strong faith
I heeded your words of truth
But you hate me and I left
Now I want to lose life
Please kill me now
This is my suicide note
I'm standing at a bridge
Always looking down
Vertigo holds me captive
I heard the cars drive pass
The waves of the creek below
Take me in the watery depths
I will drown alone
Dear sis, do not weep
When you have found me hanging
A rope around my neck
For the war I made shall end
Brother; please move on quickly
Do not freak out or mourn
Just let me die
Dear God, I'm sorry
I can't keep living this life
Don't be mad if I go
For I feel like nothing now
Just destroy this life right now
I can do this no more
Just take me out
This is my suicide note
I'm standing at a bridge
Mentally breaking
Cannot move an inch for fear
Force the turn: walk ahead
Whisper low; under my breath
"No! I won't! Keep moving forward"
For I'm not alone
My God, You have denied me
The suicide I had longed for
You gave me a reason
Why I could not give up
My God, You are my Saviour
You save me from myself
Not only I whispered those words
That saved my life; but You did so too
Here I am; and I'm advancing
Ripping apart that suicide note
YOU ARE READING
The Ragamuffin Path
PoetryElijah Rowan Killinger has bipolar disorder. Along with the severe moodswings she has been addicted to pornography and is struggling with binge-eating disorder. She is a recovering cutter and finds it difficult to believe that she can be forgiven fo...
