A thief, a liar
A prisoner of porn
A captive maiden
Held captive by
The thoughts that for sure
Steals all innocence
Filthy hands raising high
How can the wicked
Come into God's presence
But with the cleansing blood
I experience the withdrawal
Of cigarettes; anger lashing out
Near to giving into the rage
That nightmares have possessed me
Into going out online and posting
Cruel hatred towards the ones
I once loved dearly without reproach
Now bitterness and anger take hold
I'm not who I was when they knew me
I'm not the sweet girl who'd do anything
To let them know that nothing
Could ever send them away
Now that we have parted our ways
And rage has taken root
I have bitter seeds that whatever is in me
Wishes to plant within them
Anger at them isn't enough
But first my heart must give up
The faith that was planted within me
But no! Not now! Not ever!
I cannot go back to where I was
When God did not lead my paths
I cannot live in that darkness again
Left only my own devices
Who cares if I kill myself?
God does; thus I do.
Who cares if I follow Christ?
Christ does; thus I do.
Who cares if I just give into dark desires?
The Spirit does; thus I do.
Who cares if I've forgiven them?
Mercy does; thus I do.
Who cares if I Love my enemies?
Love does; thus I do.
Who cares if I carry on?
The Call does; thus I do.
Who cares if I climb the hard road?
The Way does; thus I do.
And who cares if I believe a lie?
The Truth does; thus I do.
If I am to die let it be by God's side
If I am to stand let it be til the end
If I am to believe Him let it be firmly
If I am to question who cares
Let me answer with; "My God does; thus I shall"
YOU ARE READING
The Ragamuffin Path
PoetryElijah Rowan Killinger has bipolar disorder. Along with the severe moodswings she has been addicted to pornography and is struggling with binge-eating disorder. She is a recovering cutter and finds it difficult to believe that she can be forgiven fo...
