Let Me Be Your Last | z.m vs n.h fanfic [MAJOR EDITING]

Chapter 28

Hey guys!

So I found some wifi yay!!! I'm just sat here on my own awkwardly on my laptop in the middle of a restaurant, but oh well...

ITS THREE YEARS OF 1D TODAY!!! Ah I'm so happy, I can't believe its been that long already!

I won't be able to update again until Saturday or Sunday, so there will be a slightly larger targets for the next chapter.

Thanks for reading once again, and I hope you enjoy this update!

Lucy xxx

**WARNING - THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS TRIGGERING MENTIONS OF SELF HARM. PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT THERE IS NOTHING THAT YOU COULD HURT YOURSELF WITH IF YOU SELF HARM, HAVE SELF HARMED OR GET URGES TO. IF YOU BEGIN TO GET ANY THOUGHTS ABOUT DOING SO, PLEASE STOP READING THIS CHAPTER STRAIGHT AWAY AND FOCUS YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. I TRUST YOU GUYS TO DO WHATS BEST FOR YOU** 

Niall's P.O.V.

It was getting near tea time. I was hungry. Nothing unusual there I guess.

It hadn't been a great day really. I knew that I wasn't just going to give up on (y/n); I just couldn't stand to see her so upset. But I could feel my chances slowly shrinking, becoming almost non-existent. Whenever I saw her talking to Zayn I felt cruel pangs of jealousy. I can't help it. I'm just a bad person in that way.

About ten or so fans had just spotted us, and were asking for photos and autographs. I had been hanging out with Tally more today; she's actually pretty cool once you get past her initial excitability. 

One fan with short blonde hair and brown eyes came over to Tally and I. (Y/n) was chatting to Zayn and Harry, and Liam and Louis were having an in-depth conversation about something or other. 

"Hi," the fan said, flashing us a quick smile and holding out a plain white T-shirt. "Can you sign this for me?"

"What, both of us?" Tally asked, looking pleased with herself.

"Yeah, both of you!" The fan smiled, handing a light blue sharpie to me. 

I quickly signed it with my autograph and handed the shirt and pen to Tally to do the same. But as she adjusted her arm to write her signature, I noticed faint, pink lines across her arm. They were unmistakable. I stared at them, completely transfixed. She seemed like such a confident, happy girl - I guess everyone has their secrets.

I waited until the fan had finished chattering to us to speak to Tally, because although I knew it was nosy, I just had to find out more about her.

"Tally," I said, not really sure how to start.

"Yeah?" She grinned up at me. She was quite short actually, maybe about 5'4". 

"Those scars on your wrists, I-"

"What scars?" She frowned defensively, folding her arms so that no trace of them could be seen.

"The ones on your wrists. I saw them when you signed that autograph, so there's no point in even pretending that they're not there," I told her.

She sighed guiltily. "Please don't tell anyone. Even (y/n) doesn't know. I usually cover them up with make-up, I must have forgotten this morning. And I am stopping, I do it a lot less now. I haven't done it for almost a week,"

I have to say, I did admire her bravery, how she was dealing with it on her own, trying to stay strong. "Why do you-"

"I have no confidence, ok Niall?" She snapped, before sighing and continuing in a softer tone. "My parents split up when I was two and my dad never wants to see me. My mum’s boyfriend, Dan, used to treat me like shit. My mum wishes I wasn't chasing my dream of acting and was doing something academic instead. Everyone is disappointed in me, that's why. And I'm an evil person," she added bluntly, looking over my shoulder at the sea, offering no further explanation. Her head suddenly snapped back to look at me. "Why are you so interested anyway?"

I coughed awkwardly, hoping she wouldn't be able to see through any pathetic excuse I gave. "N-no, er, no reason," I stuttered backing away from her.

She ignored my feeble attempt at shutting her up and pushed me behind a small beach hut about twenty meters away from our group. I struggled to start with, before complying as I realised she wasn't going to give in that easily, and that she had incredible strength for someone of her height. Once we were out of sight, she gently lifted up my wrist and examined it. 

"It's not there," I said tiredly.

She looked back up at me, realisation in her eyes, and eased up the leg of my swim shorts slightly, revealing the huge gashes on my thigh. She swallowed as she read the words, the bloody colour standing out on my leg, taking in the horrific, sickening wounds. After a moment or two, she looked back up at me, and I wriggled the leg of my swim shorts back down to cover it back up.

Tally slowly pulled me into a hug, clasping her hands around my back. "I won't tell anyone," she whispered, and I knew that I could trust her on this one. "Let's just help each other through this, yeah?"

"Ok," I replied reluctantly.

"You've got to promise me that you'll try your absolute best Niall, or else it'll never work," she said sadly.

"I promise,"

“And I promise too,” she replied, burying her head into my neck.

I'm no good at keeping promises though. Surely this was just another one that I was bound to break.

Tally's P.O.V.

I haven't always been like this, addicted to pain. When I first started out, I didn't understand what I was getting into, I didn't know that it would take control of my life. I thought that I would just stick to a few small, shallow cuts once in a while that would heal quickly and easily. I completely unerestimated it.

It started when I was seventeen. I had just gone through a bad break-up with a guy that treated me like shit. My mum was dissapointed by the fact that I had chosen to chase acting rather than applying to University and my step-dad ignored me all the time. I just couldn't stand it. None of my friends had realised that the light behind my eyes was gone.

I thought I could control it. But I was wrong, it was impossible to control. It used to control me, but I was working on it now. I can put it off for a few days, tell myself that I don't need it. I have never understood wjhy it makes my skin constantly prickle, like little needles sticking in until I do it again. If I was able to put it off for long enough, my head would begin to pound and my vision would go blurry as I attempted anything to take my mind off of it.

The cuts began deeper, and the scars stopped fading. I learned how to cover them up with high quality foundations and concealers that I couldn't actually afford. I was soon spending all of my money on makeup and dressings for the wounds.

The cuts were no longer just on my wrists. They slowly moved up my arms, along my shoulders, across my hips, onto my thighs. I started wearing fake tan all of the time just to cover them all up, even though it really didn't match my pale complexion. 

I could still remember the first time I cut too deep. I was so scared. I wrapped so many bandages around it, and went straight to sleep, praying that I wouldn't die in the night. The next morning, I threw out all of my blades, scissors, bobby pins, everything I had ever used to destroy my body, vowing that I wouldn't do it again. But I did. No matter how deep it went, it was never enough to completely scare me out of doing it.

I began wearing huge piles of bracelets and wristbands, claiming that it was a 'fashion statement'. No-one knew anything, and no-one ever guessed. I was stuck staring at other people's wrists, wondering if they cut too, no-one had any idea about what was really happening to me.

I wasn't growing up and becoming moody. I was crying out for help. Unfortunately, no-one heard me. Until Niall.

Aw I think that Tally and Niall will make good friends! And poor Tally, who'd have guessed what she's going through?

Anyway, the target for the next chapter is...

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