A Place In This World

So Soon

Taylor's POV

The constant ringing of my phone finally got to me. Since the break up, Josh had called me over four hundred times. The last time I saw him was the same night it happened. How was I supposed to speak to him when even just the thought of Josh made me break down?

I had jumped into a new relationship rather fast. To get my mind off things, try and believe that there were better things out there than him. But it was mostly just to get back at Josh. If he thinks that cheating on me is fine, then shouldn't he be fine seeing me in love with another man? Especially when it was eye candy like Jake Gylinhaal, someone that every girl went crazy for.

But, unfortunately making ex boyfriends jealous is not easy. Jake and I had barely been dating for a month. But we had already broken up and gotten back together at least, nine times. I guess, he wasn't the perfect candidate. It was rough being around someone all the time when you didn't like everything about them. But maybe I just needed to get to know him better. I had known Josh for six years or so. Obviously I would feel more comfortable around him.

I pretended to be ok around Jake, but on the inside, I was a mess. At night, when I was alone, I would cry myself to sleep. It was a painful habit, and hard to heal when the wound still felt so fresh.

Sighing in defeat, I wiped my tears away, and finally picked up.

"What do you want Josh?" I asked hoping my voice didn't sound as broken as it felt.

There was a long pause before he answered.

"Taylor?" He asked hesitantly.

I missed him saying my name. It was just that one simple word he said, and I instantly knew this conversation was going to be painful.

"Yeah?" I breathed.

"I- are you mad?" He asked.

Should I lie? Or should I tell the truth. Lying would be pointless. He would know that I wouldn't be telling the truth, and our relationship would turn even more sour.

"Yeah," I replied in a huff.

"Im sorry," he stated.

That was when I so desperately wanted to accept his apology and go back to being his girlfriend. But that couldn't happen. He already had a girlfriend. I couldn't go back.

I didn't know how to reply, so I stayed silent.

"You know, sometimes people can be pretty stupid. They can do stupid things without thinking, and then they can get caught. And the end result isn't always good. But, I don't want our end result to be bad. I don't want to forget you. So, we, we're, we can still stay friends, right?"

I was shocked. Yeah, he was stupid to fucking cheat on me, and almost smart to not forget about me. But he was just plain idiotic to ask if we could stay friends. That's when I mustered up enough courage to stand up to him. To speak for myself. To say, 'hey you're an idiot, you don't deserve me' and tell my side of the story.

You say, sometimes, it's like I hardly know you

"You know," I sighed, speaking up. "Sometimes it's like you're a whole different person. Comparing you now, to back in March? You're just not the same. I used to know you so well. Now, I don't know who you are. You aren't the man that would stick up for himself and fight for what he wanted. I don't even know what to call you now. I hardly know you."

He stayed silent for awhile, soaking in what I had just said.

"Well, maybe I didn't show all of me, but-"