Chapter 5 - Weird Feelings

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"I can't believe the carnival is next week!" Sarah said excitedly. Everyone agreed how excited they were. We are all at lunch right now.

I'm not in any mood to eat or talk at the moment. It's been three weeks since my first fight with Austin about him texting that girl and we have had three more problems since then. One every week. It's honestly exhausting, but I have strong feelings for him and I don't want to give up yet.

"You okay?" Justin asked me as he softly hit my arm with his elbow getting my attention. I fake smiled at him and nodded. "I forgot to grab something from my locker for my next class. Wanna take the walk with me?" He asked as he stood up. I nodded again. "Hey, we'll be back" he told everyone and I followed him out of the lunch room. "Please talk to me, Jamie. You're not yourself right now" he begged as we got into the hallway. I sighed.

"It's just stuff with Austin" I said quietly. The hallway is empty, but I still feel the need to talk quietly. I'm just sad I guess.

"What's going on? You know you can talk to me" he said with a sigh. We reached his locker and I leaned against the locker next to his. But he stood there staring at me, not even opening his locker.

"You didn't have to get anything from your locker did you?" I asked him. He shook his head and leaned against the lockers as well. "Austin's just- I" I stopped and took a deep breath. "I just don't know if I can trust him anymore. There's just some things that are sketchy now. And it's like a flip switched after-" I again stopped myself as I realized something. "Oh my god" I said quietly to myself.

"What? After what?" Justin asked me.

"After he tried to have sex with me and I said not yet" I told him. I saw anger come across his face. "He didn't try to pressure me though. He just tried and I said no I don't want to yet and he asked why and I told him it was because I haven't done it yet. And it just seemed like it kinda bothered him that I didn't wanna do it. But I want it to be special you know? And I know he's had sex with a lot of girls so it won't be his first. And for some reason I just don't feel excited to do it with him. I don't know if I'm scared or-" Justin cut me off.

"Jamie-"

"Sorry I'm rambling. I-" I stopped and groaned. I'm just stressed and all in my head.

"Why are you still with him?" He asked.

"Because when we aren't fighting or he doesn't have me over thinking, he's sweet and funny and makes me laugh. I'm happy when there's no problems" I explained to him. He shook his head.

"There are better guys out there for you" He said trying to help.

"You know what the guys are like around here. I'm not interested in any of them."

"Trust me there's better guys" he said again.

"Like who?" I asked now. He went to talk, but stopped.

"Yo" I heard from behind me. Justin looked and rolled his eyes. I looked back to see Austin. He winked at me as he walked up to us. "Sup Justin" he said nodding his head at Justin.

"Hey" Justin said back in a low tone. Austin looked at me and put his hand on my back.

"Can we talk, babe?" He asked me. I fake smiled and nodded. I looked back at Justin.

"I'll see you later?" I asked. He nodded then faced his locker opening it. "Let's go" I said to Austin. He grabbed my hand and we started to walk down the hallway. I looked back at Justin to see him staring at us. He had this look in his eyes. I looked like sadness and disappointment. But for what?




***



"So glad it's Friday" I said then took a shot.

"Cheers to that" Ally said and took a shot too. The group is at Ryan's and we are drinking. Much needed for me.

"You should relax on the alcohol for now" Justin said to me with a laugh. I looked at him and shook my head.

"No way" I said back and laughed too. "I'm actually going to get some soda and a cup to make a drink if anyone wants me to grab a cup or anything else" I said as I stood up then almost lost my balance. "Woah" they all laughed.

"I'll help you" Justin said laughing as he stood up. "Anyone want anything?" He asked them. Ally and Ryan both asked for a cup too. Me and Justin walked into the kitchen and I went straight to wear Ryan keeps his cups. I opened the cabinet and went to reach for the cups.

"Wait" I heard Justin's voice right behind me. "Let's me get the glasses in case you drop them" he said in my ear with a low chuckle. I felt his chest against my back and he grabbed the three glasses and placed them on the counter. I turned around and looked up at him. His face was close to mine. I got a weird feeling in my stomach like I was nervous. "You okay?" He asked me.

When did his voice get so hot? Oh my god, what? What am I saying?

"Yeah" I said back quietly. I've never felt this way around him before. I don't even know what this feeling is. He chuckled again then grabbed the glasses and walked away. I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding then followed him out to the living room.

Why did I feel the urge to kiss him back there? Where did that came from? I tried to shake it off. Maybe it's just because I'm drinking. I don't know. That was so weird.

I grabbed my phone and saw Austin texted me.

____
Austin❤️: im going to a party rn
Austin❤️: text you when I can

Me: why don't you just come here then? We're drinking

Austin❤️: thanks for the invite but my friends are at the party

Me: and your girlfriend is here.

Austin❤️: babe don't start with me rn I haven't been to a party in a while

Me: okay.
____

He will always choice his friends first. We've only been dating for a little over a month and I already haven't been chosen before them. I shook my head. I'm just going to have fun tonight. If he can have fun, so can I.

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