So wrong, yet so right

Chapter 1 - Awkward

*EDITED*

04.11.2015

I always saw him as my dads friend, and my friend as well. In the summers, when I was little I used to hang out with them in the yard, barbecuing, playing football. Just, fun stuff. Both my dad and he was pretty young as well, both 23 when I was 4. My dad and mom was very young when they had me. And I am an only child.

Now, I was finally 18 and I considered myself to be a grown woman. As grown as I could be, I guess. And in later settings I had begun imagining things... Weird thoughts and feelings whenever I was in the room with a certain someone. Michael - Also known as my dad's best friend. His perfect looks drew my attention. I could never deny that. 

I can't even remember when I got these thoughts. Was it in beginning of high school? When "older" guys just seemed so much more exciting compared to the younger boys, who only cared about playing video-games and who totally lacked experience with girls? Older guys, they know life, they have experienced so much more. And it seems so illegal, so dangerous. And the thought of that, drags us against it. It is like a drug.

The worst thing is that he is coming over here on Friday, to my dads birthday. And I will be here. And I do not know how to behave around him. It is going to be so awkward...

Friday

The day is finally here. My dad's 37th birthday. All week I had been nervous about this day. And not for any logical reason than the fact that Michael was coming over to celebrate his best friend.

Standing in front of my mirror in my room, I admire the image of myself in the red dress I had purchased only days before. I felt satisfied, it fit perfectly around my petite body. I had let my hair loose and straightened it. I wasn't going to deny that I picked this dress out because Michael was coming over. 

Suddenly, the doorbell rings and I walk out of my room, and towards the outdoor to open. As I open I'm greeted with the smile of Michael, and by his side a beautiful woman, with gorgeous black hair. I'd never seen before. My smile turn into an expression of jealousy, but I try hard not to show it. 

"Hey, come in" I move away from the door.

"Hey Rebecca." Michael smiles at me before he leans in for a hug. I hug him back and feel the smell of his sweet cologne. Goosebumps suddenly appears by the touch of his body against mine. We separate and he locks eyes with his woman, then back at me again. 

"I don't think you two have met yet" He said.

No, I have never seen this woman in my life.

"No we haven't." the woman says, smiling, showing off her perfectly white teeth and greets me with her hand. 

"Rebecca." I smile and shake her hand. "Alice." she replies, politely. I let go of her hand right away.

"Michael!" I hear my dad yell loudly before he greets him with a hug. 

"Congratulations old man."

"Ey, I am not that old. Yet." He laughs and so does Michael. I smile at them both. 

"Alice! How are you?" Dad hugs her as well. Of course he knew about them. I thought he would have told me, however he probably did not think it was a big deal. Because it is totally not...

We are seated around the table in the living room. Me, my mom, dad, Michael and Alice. One big happy family. It feels strange to sit here like this. Occasionally I cannot help but glimpse over at Michael. If I wasn't mistaken, sometimes my eyes would capture his causing a ticklish feeling in my body. Those beautiful eyes. I could stare into them forever. And that hair, black, slicked back in a ponytail. He looks so handsome. I just want to drag my fingers through his hair and then pull him towards me and place my lips on his perfect delicious lips.

"Rebecca?"

"Huh?" I shake my head and noticing that my mom is looking at me. Hope she does not suspect anything of my sudden daydreaming.
"Can you help me clean the table?"

My skin feels warm and I quickly start to bring plates into the kitchen. I feel so embarrassed; I hope none of them noticed. However, I am afraid they did.

"Are you ok honey?" my mom asks me.

I smile at her. "Yes, I was just thinking about school. I have exams soon and it's very stressful." I reply.

"That is understandable. But I know for a fact that it will be fine, you are a clever girl," she smiles to me.

After cleaning up everything, the "adults" go to sit in the living room, drinking wine, laughing and having a great time. Me, on the other hand have no idea what to do. I know mom and dad sees me still as a child, even though I am 18. Michael probably sees me as that as well. And he should, because that's all I am.

I decide to go sit with them after a few minutes. I am not going to go around feeling sorry for myself that looks ridiculous.

I take a seat besides my dad. He smiles at me. 

"You decided to join us after all little girl" He puts his arm around me, playfully. 

"I'm not a little girl." I mumble quietly, and fake a smile. The others smiles as well, making me feel more embarrassed. Maybe I should have gone to my room after all.

06.11.2015

As I knew it was going to be, it was awkward. Maybe not the way I thought, cause nothing major happened.. Still, he showed up with his girlfriend. And she is beautiful, kind.. and a grown up woman. Compared to me, who apperantly is just a little child. WHY?!!! 

He will never look at me differently...

A/N:

(The parts in cursive is what Rebecca writes in her journal)

First chapter of my new story. Hope you liked and enjoyed it, so far. xo