Endlessly (Harry Styles)

Chapter 45

*Harry Styles*

I rolled in the cold hard bed. My head was pounding, my mind was fuzzy, I could barely think with my whole body trembling with fear, and yet, I still can't find sleep. Not when she's not here. Not when she's with him. In the same room. In the same bed.

The rational part of myself knew that I shouldn't worry about them, that i should trust them. And I did, in a way. But my overly protective and jealous part was furious to know that she was sleeping with another man. It didn't care that she loved me, and that he was my best mate.

To say that I wished things would have gone differently is weak. I shouldn't have let that girl slap my angel. I shouldn't have let Hazel run away. I shouldn't have followed the bodyguards without fighting them. I shouldn't have listened to management when they told me it would be best for both of us if I took a few days off in New Jersey. I shouldn't have listen to them either when they told me not to go to Hazel's interview. And I sure s hell shouldn't have believed them when they told me she was fine. One glance at her and I understood how deeply it affected her.

But then, I was blinded by my selfishness and my jealousy started eating me alive when she chose Niall over me.

She fucking chose Niall over me.

I rolled in the bed once again, throwing the cover off my over-heated body. The bed itself was cold with Hazel's absence, just like it has been for the past few days, and I was only sleeping in my boxer briefs, but somehow my whole body was sweating. You know that feeling of burning rage that settles in the bottom of your stomach and makes your whole body sweat at the same time as you're feeling cold?

I knew I wasn't going to get any sleep that night.

I got out of the bed, running a hand through my messy curls, then rubbed my tired eyes. I swear to God, if Hazel doesn't forgive me, I'm so fucking screwed. She was everything I wanted, everything I wished for. I could see myself marrying that girl, having kids with her. Not now of course... I mean, we're still young, our careers just started, thinking about marriage and babies aren't exactly a good thing. Especially since she was mad at me.

I went to the kitchen of our suite and poured myself a glass of water. I checked the time. 5:34 A.M. I've been tossing around in my bed for more than five hours.

I wondered if, like me, she was having troubles sleeping, or if she was just so tired she was knocked out cold. I wondered if she felt as good in Niall's arms as she did in mine. I wondered if she was thinking of me, if she was regretting anything that happened between us. I wondered if she thought about not forgiving me at all.

I froze when I realized that we were having our first real fight. We had a few disagreement before, but nothing as major as this. And I hated this feeling of not being at the same place as her. it felt foreign, it felt horridly wrong. When you found the one person you want to live your whole life with, you're not supposed to let her go like I did.

I gripped the roots of my hair in frustration. How fucking stupid can I be? Why did I have to ruin one of the best things that happened to me. No, scratch that: the best thing that happened to me. I was freaking lucky to have her. Everybody did, no wonder so many guys flirted with her and tried to get closer to her, she was special, she was otherworldly.

How could I even let her go?

I quickly put a pair of grey sweaters on and rushed out of my room to Niall's. I looked at the door for a moment before starting to bang loudly on it.

"HAZEL, PLEASE, WE NEED TO TALK, BABY." I called, supporting myself on the door.

She needed to hear me out. She had to hear me out.

"BABY, OPEN THE DOOR." I shouted, almost on the verge of tears. "I'm begging you, please, I need you."

A gross sob got stuck in my throat and I choked it out, slowly sliding on the wall in front of it. Tears started rolling down my face, each and one of them completely deserved.

"Please, Angel, open the door." I croaked out, not even sure if I was talking to the door, or just saying this hoping somebody would hear my prayers. "Please, please, please... I can't lose you, I need you. We need each other. Please, forgive me."

The door knob turned and the door opened I sat up.


A/N: Sorry I have to stop this here :P

Thank you so much for the comments, I really appreciate them, they make me want to update more... and now that I destroyed my writer's block...