One of A Kind

New Moon: Chapter Fifty-Seven

We find a small meadow and sit in the middle of it. I stay quiet and look up at the stars. They are so beautiful. Each one by themselves is beautiful, but a group of them together is an incredible sight.

"Can I say something before you say what you are going to say?" Jasper asks.

"Sure."

"I am deeply sorry for leaving. I don't think I can even say what needs to be said to fix things. When I saw you bleeding and screaming in pain, I can't describe what I was feeling. It's like my life flashed before my eyes. I truly thought you were going to die. I froze. At that moment, I was useless. There was nothing I could do to help you." He pauses to recollect his thoughts. "Leaving you was unacceptable. I didn't want to. I will say, Edward was incredibly convincing. He brought to light every insecurity and fear I had regarding our relationship and what happened to you, and he played on it. But in the end, it was my decision to leave with them. I thought leaving would give you a chance to be safe from what I am. You wouldn't be hurt by me if I wasn't there. I will never forgive myself for as long as I live, however long that may be. I love you so much. You are it for me."

His eyes bear every emotion he is feeling. I can feel every single emotion he is feeling. Everything he said was true, and his emotions matched his words.

"I want, more than anything, to be with you and never let you go." His eyes show a flash of hope that goes away as fast as it came. "But it's going to take much more than words to earn my forgiveness."

"I understand." He breaks eye contact and looks down. "Is there any chance we will be able to survive this?"

"I guess time will tell." I take a deep breath and prepare myself for what I am going to say. "I am not saying this to be mean, but I am saying this to let you know just how much damage you did and to give you an idea of how hard you will have to work."

"Whatever it takes."

"When I woke in the hospital with just Bella there, I was terrified. I asked for you right away. When she told me you all were gone, a part of me died. I was broken. I am brave enough to say that I was broken because I came back from that. For those few months after I woke up, I worked my ass off to recover. Intense physical therapy because of the damage to my femur. By the way, who was it that pushed me?"

"Edward..." He whispered. "He pushed you and Bella out of the way of me."

I give him a small nod and continue. "I was finally able to walk by January. Even then, I didn't want to get out of bed. Bella was the same as me. A part of us was gone. It got so bad that my parents decided they were going to commit us. Bella had Jacob to help her heal, and I had Lyvia. I love her, but it didn't completely heal me. I was so in love with you, Jasper. Like out of my mind in love. My love for you ended up screwing me over in the end."

Tears are falling down my face. Jasper stares at me in disbelief.

"Oh yeah, I can cry. And these aren't contacts."

"How?"

"I'm not sure." I wipe away my tears and take a deep breath. "You once said you believe we're mates. Do you still believe that?"

"More than ever."

"That is one thing I will never understand. How you could leave your mate when you had the chance to be with them forever."

"Simple. I'm a complete idiot." I smile at that.

"You're not wrong." We both lightly laugh. Silence falls over us for some time until I finish off our conversation. "Whatever it takes?"

"Whatever it takes."