Enemies With Benefits

EWB 39

Hailey

Hailey stop! Stop kissing Caleb! STOP! FUCKING STOP YOU DUMBASS BITCH!!! STOP!!

Basically, my mind was protesting everything that was happening... but every other organ in my body didn't wanna stop.

It didn't take a while for Caleb to kiss back, and as soon as he did, the more it got harder to let go.

God, I missed the feeling of having his lips on mine.

I didn't know why I even kissed him in the first place. Let alone why I made the first move.

As soon as I came to half of my senses, I quickly pulled out of the kiss and blinked a couple of times before I finally managed to move my feet and walk—no, sprint out of there.

I'd take a cab home, but fUCK! I needed some time to think. I was confused as hell.

Shit, why did I kiss Caleb?! I literally just broke up with Dean hours ago... only to end up kissing the same guy that caused that break up!

Fuck. FUCK!

This was crazy. This was so fucking insane!

I eventually made my way back to my apartment, and as soon as I got in, all I wanted to do was throw everything. Yeah, I was going out of my mind like that.

As soon as I plopped down my couch however, I started to feel.... Relieved?

My fingers subconsciously made their way up to my lips, and all I could think about was the fact that I just had Caleb's lips on mine a couple of minutes ago.

And the more I thought about it, the more I felt... a bit better, but at the same time, even more guilty because I was feeling relieved.

I was still confused as hell. More confused than I did last night.

I knew I should not be that up close to Caleb because I knew for a fact that if I did, whatever I felt for him was instantly gonna resurface.

And I was right.

The moment I locked eyes with him last night, it didn't even take a second for all those feelings to come back. Fully.

I was already feeling confused since we started being... close again, and now it just made it even more complicated.

Honestly, I didn't need him to tell me that he still loves me. That he always will.

Because he had hurt me too much already, and I know I'm dumb but I'm not that dumb to keep falling for it.

Right?

I groaned and got off the couch so I could get ready for bed.

I sure as hell would not be getting any decent sleep tonight, but I was gonna force one out.

Just so I don't have to think about it.

Unfortunately, as soon as my body hit my bed, all the sleepiness drained out of my system and I was wide awake, staring at my ceiling while the faint sounds of the cars outside filled my room.

It wasn't that quiet, but it was quiet enough to let me drown in my thoughts, that kiss kept replaying in my mind. And it was all I could think about.

The next morning wasn't any different either. 

As soon as my body realized that I was awake, the whole night started replaying in my head again. 

Shit, honestly why don't I feel so guilty about this? I should be, right? Even for a bit??

But damn. 

That kiss...

Every single feeling I had pushed out of my body for years just resurfaced the moment my lips touched Caleb's. And thinking about it was driving me insane.