Help me to love again

Chapitre 59 : «There is not much difference between you and him.»

Vegas

As promised, Pete behaved well when we arrived at my house. He left me the kiss, in my bed, not in my playroom. I assumed that I shouldn't rush things.

I must know how to trust him. He promised me something he has not yet given me but that does not mean that he will not do it one day.

With Kim it's tense. We are in a cold period, something I didn't think possible. We have known each other for years and we have never had disputes as long as this one.

He spent the first three days after this dispute exclusively with Chay. He did not answer any of my messages or calls.

It's starting to make me sad... especially knowing the last word he said to me before cutting short the conversation with me:

There is not much difference between you and him.

He is Porsche.

I understood that he compared me to Porsche and it hurt me... because I know that with the forceful behavior I had with Pete, it's the truth.

I had a more than toxic attitude towards Pete and I didn't apologize. Pete might think it's normal for me to take advantage of him.

Alone in my bathroom, I cut my hair.

Pete is probably in the room, on the bed that we now share together.

I absolutely have to find a way to tell him that I am sorry for my behavior and that it will not happen again.

I don't want him to be afraid of me.

Submissive yes but not fearful.

I sigh, trying to put my pride aside and find the right words so that he really hears what I have to say to him.

It's not going to be easy. Pete has put a little distance between us since I forced him to have sex with me.

I quickly dress in my clothes before leaving my bathroom and heading to my room.

Pete is well on the bed, in underwear. He puts new bandages on his scars, the last ones he still had from Porsche.

He made my head and always arranged to prevent me from taking care of him. But there, he seems to have difficulties. So I take the opportunity to approach him and offer my help.

- Baby?

Pete freezes by turning his head towards me. I put myself on the bed slowly.

- Are you going to get there? Do you want me to help you?

I give him a sweet smile to try to regain his sympathy. He gives me a black look before sighing and stretching my bandages. He has his back to me, sitting down.

- I didn't manage to cream my back. Can you do it, please?

I'm glad he's asking me. I grab the cream and say:

- Of course my angel.

A death silence sets in between us but I'm not going to leave it there for long.

- Pete...?

- Yes Vegas?

- This afternoon, would you like us to go out somewhere?

I start giving him a massage on his lower back.

- As you wish, Vegas. It's you who decides.

He says that, almost resigned. I accentuate my grip on his hips so that he keeps his attention on me.

- Pete...I don't want to decide only for you. I...I'm sorry for what I did to you when we were in court...I...I'm a little ashamed now.

Pete remains silent for a few minutes. The fact of not hearing it worries me a little.