Improving Eyes (Persona 3 x Male Reader)

Chapter 26: false Ideas

5/11/15 Early morning Dorm Y/N POV

I woke up in my bed and felt this immense amount of guilt and shame wash over me. I was tired. I barely got any sleep since the heinous act I committed. I got up and walked over to my desk, but with every step, I felt this feeling of worthlessness overwhelm my soul. I sat on the office chair in my room and took a few slow breaths. Thoughts that I wished I had destroyed started entering my brain, and all it brought was pain and suffering. I rested my head against my hands and started shaking.

Y/N: "No... That's not true... But what if it was?"

I shake my head and open my laptop, watching some videos to try and distract me, but every time I think it's gone, it comes back. I decided that I couldn't go to school with the headspace I was in. So I stayed inside my room with the curtains closed, trying to distract myself from the enveloping darkness. I didn't know how long it's been, but my phone started to vibrate. I picked up my phone, which was located on the top of my desk next to Steve, to see that Akihiko texted everyone in a group chat.

Akihiko: I need to talk to you all. Meet me in the command room when you get home.

I just sighed, placed the phone back where it was, and went back to looking at my laptop screen. After a while, I sank into my chair, not caring about what my computer was showing the world, knowing it was unimportant. I stayed like that for a while, just looking up at the ceiling and thinking about my life. Thinking about all the mistakes I made... All the things I could have prevented but didn't... The thought of having a chance of unconditional love if I weren't born into this situation... The sound could be heard protruding from my door, but my thoughts didn't make me think about it for too long. The door then opened, and light steps got closer.

Fuuka: "Y/N, are you here?"

I wanted to say something, but I was too ashamed of myself to reach out to her.

Fuuka: "Oh, he must be busy, maybe... Huh, his laptop is still on."

I heard her footsteps get closer, but I didn't move. I just stayed still, not caring if she saw me. Her teal hair enters my line of sight as she leans down to look at my laptop.

Fuuka: "What is this...? 15th of May, 2009. Today, I tried again. I tried to commit suicide for the 7th time and failed again. This time, I tried to jump from the roof of the house. When I got up there, my body started shaking like it is now. When my leg was past the roof, my body stopped me. All it took was a little push. However, I then stepped back and collapsed within a safe distance of the roof. I hope next time it will finally be the only successful thing I've done in my disappointment of life."

I wanted to yell Stop when Fuuka started reading it out loud, but I stayed quiet, listening to her voice reading the note I wrote years ago. I think back to the moment I wrote that; I still feel the disappointment I had in myself back then for not jumping, but the real thing I gathered from that is that I regret writing those notes in English and Japanese.

Fuuka: "Y/N... I'm so sorry."

She then closed my laptop and walked out of my room. I sighed and returned to sitting like a normal person would and rested my head in my hands. Soon, night came, and I started feeling drowsy, but all I did was lie my head on my desk. I closed my eyes, and when I did, I heard a familiar melody playing on a piano. I opened my eyes to see that I'm in the blue limousine that is called the Velvet Room, with the two attendants sitting down and looking at me.

Igor: "Welcome. As I'm sure you are aware, you are currently in a dream. Now, then... There has been a change in you recently. I'm sure you noticed. Your change in mentality is why I summoned you tonight. Going forward, there is one thing you mustn't forget."