Warnings: self-harm, insecurities, swearing, injuries, Stiles being a baby, a ridiculously short chapter. Might be longer but we'll see.
She leaned back against the locker and slid down. She was outside the office, waiting for her dad to finish with statements from the team. Number Thirty Seven, the one down on the field, Jackson, was dead. M.E. didn't know how. Stiles was missing.
She couldn't protect him.
She didn't protect him.
She hit the back of her head against the locker. The impact of her skull on the metal sent a wave of pain through her spine. She felt tears prick her eyes but she didn't care.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
She hit her head against the locker again. The metal caved into the shape of her head. She curled into herself, her hand grabbed her knees and her head rested between her legs. She would go inwards if she couldn't go out. She felt the tears in her eyes but they didn't fall. She had gotten used to that. Not crying, not sobbing, but the tears being there anyway. She just held herself.
She tightened her hold on her knees. Her fingernails dug into her legs. They would make imprints on her skin. They might break skin if she went deeper.
It didn't feel better, but it felt right. She messed up. She had messed up big time. She needed a punishment because of it.
She deserved one.
She dug her nails deeper. She felt another wave of pain shoot through her skin. She didn't care about that.
You pathetic, useless bitch, a voice in her head scolded. It was one that had haunted and terrorised her for years. It had never used those words, but she could still hear it saying those words. Can you do anything right?
She dug her nails deeper. But then she let them go, let her hands fall at her sides. Her sweatpants had holes in them. Yes I can, she told the voice. I'm not playing your games. If I play I lose. So I'm not playing. I'm done with you. I am not living like this.
She pushed herself up. She walked away from the locker with the smashed door. The indent was much deeper than anythign a human could create.
She found her dad outside the locker room. He was talking with a deputy. She didn't know him. He nodded and sent the deputy away. While he passed her, the deputy sent a look of pity. No, she hated pity. Sympathy she could deal with. But pity was just complete shit.
Her dad walked over to her and sighed before he gave her a half hearted smile. "How about we head home?" he proposed.
The words sent a wave of shock through her. Before, home was Mischief who taught her Go-Fish and her dad who was the great sheriff. Now, it Stiles who ate his Lucky Charms marshmellows first and drove her to school in Roscoe, their dad that was always tired and had night shifts. But she loved it. It felt natural.
She nodded. "That sounds right."
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She walked into her brother's room to see her dad on the phone with someone. Based on his body language, it wasn't good news. She hated seeing him like this, so worked up and stressed out. But there was nothing she could do. That part hurt the worst.
The man sighed and hung up. His back was to her so he didn't know she was there. She walked into the room and hugged him from behind. She pressed her face into his shirt and wrapped her arms around his waist. He turned around and wrapped his arms around her, one held her head, the other was on the small of her back.
YOU ARE READING
Gut Instinct (Teen Wolf)
Fanfiction"My gut is telling me something's off with this kid," Vic said. "And I've learned to trust my gut a long time ago." "What else is your gut telling you?" Scott asked. She paused for a second before she turned to the two boys. "My gut is telling me...
