Gaze Detection | Jikook |

Chapter 7: My Biggest Fear

      'This is who I am' Jimin almost felt as if he was afraid to say those words out loud and permanently curse himself to be alone forever. Even if Jimin would always claim that he enjoyed being alone, he couldn't help but to feel a little set back when he would hear himself say those words. It always surprised him when he least suspected it. At times, the lonely human only wished he had someone to comfort him just like the way he held onto the cat. Thinking back at the warmth and comfort he felt just holding the cat made him long to feel the same but with another.

      Jimin pondered the feeling longer; constantly looking back at the cat and the comfort he longed for. Just thinking of that alone and blocking out Taehyung's words just made him long to be a cat just so someone could caress him and embrace him. Yet, that was just a thought and Jimin was all alone. Just the way he liked it, right? Jimin let out a sigh and instantly looked away from Taehyung's direction almost instantly.

      "Jimin, stop talking as if this is the life you've chosen for yourself! It's not fair, you should allow people in to fill you with glee. You never know who will be willing to give you the world!" Taehyung's words were so promising and Jimin wanted to believe it; however, the young human had issues when it came to agreeing with that idea entirely.

      "If I allow more people into my life, who knows if they plan on leaving me too? I don't want to waste my time caring for someone who doesn't plan on staying... my heart won't be able to take it. Jimin explained and knew he would have to elaborate further just so Taehyung could understand, yet, this was a feeling Jimin just couldn't explain. It was a painful experience that Jimin went through but no matter how many times he looked back at it, he didn't think he would ever be okay with having to grow attached to someone and having to let them go the very next day.

     "I don't understand, why would they leave? Shouldn't they stay if they have a friend? Humans are very complex, I never knew a person could do that."

      "I can't really explain this one to you, Taehyung. These are things I wonder too. This is my biggest fear when meeting someone I know. It's the idea that they might leave me too that scares me away from making connections," Jimin confessed and pressed his head against the couch to look up carefully. "I'm so scared... I just want to be alone but even at times, I don't want to be lonely. I'm confusing you, aren't I?"

       "No, Jimin. All you need is someone who is going to stay with you for sure! Those other people who hurt you weren't up for the position of being your friend. Sure, you don't know what someone will do the second you meet them and you're not sure if they will stay or not, but that won't be the case with everyone. You will meet the right person that will stay but you need to find them first."

      "I don't think I'm mentally prepared for that... at least not now. I get too attached to others, so I choose to be alone even if it scares me," Jimin replied and left Taehyung staring at him in concern. "Did you really make sure Hoseok knew that I accepted Jungkook's request?"

     "Yes, even if you aren't looking for a friend, I just want you to know that Jungkook lives next door and on days I'm not with you, you don't have to hide. What harm will another robot like that cause? I don't even think he has other friends, does he?"

      "I remember he said he doesn't know that many people. So, I'm assuming he doesn't have any friends except for Hoseok... if that's his friend at all," Jimin answered and slowly latched  his focus onto the windows up ahead that kept the curtains drawn shut all the time. "I don't know him at all and I don't know how to approach him..."

      "If anything, you can just go over to his place and have a talk with him! It's not that difficult, but if you don't want to leave the comfort of your own home, I will invite him over for you! By there, the both of you would talk and get closer. It's a great idea Jimin, it's not like you do much anyway."