Chapter 50

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"We're going to try okay, everything is at your own pace. If you really can't do it, then that's okay. That's okay honey. This whole process is about trying and yes there will probably be relapses and that's okay too. I won't be mad or disappointed. We will just start over and try again." Dad said after calming us both down from our crying session while still caressing my back.

"Okay"

I gave him a small smile while he wiped my cheeks, wiping away all the tears.

When he was done wiping my cheeks, I leaned over and wiped his too.

"I'll try eating the chocolate. I'll try." I said barely above a whisper.

He nodded and gave me a small smile before helping me stand on the ground again.

I grabbed the chocolate bar and took dad's hand and than headed of back to the living room where the others were.

Dad sat down and pulled me into his lap.

I could see Elijah and some of the others look at dad and me when we sat back down.

I knew my eyes would be swollen from the crying and maybe dad's were too which the others were probably looking at.

I ignored the concerned looks which they were giving me and opened the bar of chocolate.

I could feel my heart beat that calmed down a few minutes ago pick up again.

My shaky hand slowly ripped the package in two and opened it of halfway.

I looked back at dad for some kind of reassurance.

Why?.....

I don't know, but I felt like I needed it.

He gave me a nod with a little encouraging smile.

I looked back at the chocolate and could feel my eyes begin to tear up again.

I took a deep shaky breath as I brought the chocolate to my mouth.

As soon as I bite of the chocolate, I could feel the tears fall down.

I knew some of the others were watching me, I could feel the eyes on me but I didn't care right now.

Dad kept rubbing my back comforting me while whispering reassuring words to me.

"You're okay, I'm proud of you......Do it at your own pace. You're okay"

I took a few more bites, but when I had eaten half of the chocolate bar I really couldn't anymore.

I felt sick and nauseous.

I felt like I was going to throw up, my hands wouldn't stop shaking while my heart kept racing.

I looked at dad with my tear stained cheeks and shook my head no indicating that I really couldn't take it anymore.

"It's okay, you did well. You made progress, you ate half the bar that's good honey. We're doing this at your own pace. Come here." Dad opened his arms but took the chocolate already out of my hands and placed it on the little table in the living room.

I crawled into his arms, putting my head on his chest.

"Honey, I need you too breathe. Your heart rate is going too fast right now and your shaking. Deep breaths come on. In......and out. Good again. In.....and out. Good job calm down just breathe." He cooed caressing my back.

After a few minutes I calmed down, but I didn't want to keep my eyes open anymore, I felt really tired.

"Go to sleep baby, it's been a long day. I'm here and I'll still be here when you wake up."

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