This is gonna be a soft one folks
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tw // vomiting
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Awakening in a hospital bed was definitely peculiar, specially if you don't remember getting there in the first place. All you remembered was walking through ankle deep snow with Carmichael on your left and Thomas on your right in an attempt to escape the manor of which Lucille Sharpe now haunts.
You figured you passed out the moment they set you on the mattress. Your tongue felt heavy and your head felt fuzzy. Nothing seemed to be recognizable, except for the obvious fact that they had you and Thomas lay next to each other in separate beds. Your eyes were still a bit blurry, but you make out his sleeping form with curly black hair and a bandaged shoulder.
Alan is probably in another room, getting stitched together after getting stabbed by Thomas. He got lucky it was Thomas and not Lucille, he'd probably not be alive right now if Thomas hadn't injured him where it was the least threatening.
Someone was looming over you now, you could only make out their bright white jacket. It must be a doctor, you thought. He checked your temperature and luckily you weren't burning up.
“You were poisoned in small dosages, so it might take a while to fully clean it out of your system. Please don't be alarmed if you feel like you're about to vomit. Just let it happen, alright?” said the doctor.
You nodded and already felt yourself gag. Luckily there was a bucket on both sides of your bed so there was no mess when you eventually had to vomit.
Your retching woke Thomas from his slumber. He groaned as he was trying to sit up.
“You're finally awake.” he said with relief.
“‘Finally’ why? How long have we been here?” you asked and wiped your mouth with a damp handkerchief that was on a tray near you.
“Two days. You've been asleep for two whole days.”
“Oh goodness.” You slumped into your bed.
“Your breathing was luckily very stable, so the doctors didn't have to worry twice as I did.”
“I'm surprised you had room to worry for me. Given how unfortunate your circumstances are too.” You said and looked to him.
“It is impossible not to worry when I could've prevented so many bad happenings. The guilt will eat me away for eternity I'm afraid.”
“What's done is done, Thomas. You'll only hurt yourself if you look back. I'm sure you'll learn to forgive yourself one day, as I have partially forgiven you already.”
He didn't speak a word, but his eyes were hopeful when he looked at you. The hurt in them wasn't directed to you, it was directed to himself.
“Carmichael is in another room I'm afraid. But the doctors did say he is healing beautifully.” said Thomas.
“That is good. Very good.” You were about to say something more but that gagging feeling behind your throat made it impossible. You had to retch in front of Thomas which was a tad embarrassing. You turned away from him to wipe your mouth clean.
“I'm sorry you have to see me like this.” you said to him.
“No, it's alright. You are recovering.” His tone was comforting and if you were a bit closer you're sure he'd gently rub your back.
The next day turned out to be much brighter than yesterday. You vomited less and had an appetite to eat food that wasn't sludgy porridge. Thomas had to have his bandages changed and wounds cleaned, the doctor also said his injuries are healing quite quickly which was very fortunate. The doctor also noticed the color return more to your skin. And so you hoped you'd be out of this place by tomorrow.
Alan visited your room that day in his wheelchair. He looked apprehensive about Thomas but decided that he wouldn't cause you harm no longer. After all, it was his sister to blame.
“You're looking well.” he said to you.
“So do you, Alan. Did they tell you when you'd be out yet?” you asked.
“The doctors are looking at the day after tomorrow for my release, but that could be earlier or later. It is unsure.”
“Still, it's lovely that you're recovering quite quickly. The retching is really a bother,” you told him. “Thomas is just to polite to say so. Always has been.”
“It really isn't a bother, dear.” Thomas added.
“Well, I'll be off to the canteen now. It's been a while since I've been able to move about,” Alan smiled. “I'll see you around.”
And with that, he rolled himself out of the room. The doctor went in right after Carmichael left.
“How are we doing?” he asked.
“Better, thank you.” you answered.
“It doesn't hurt as much to move.” Thomas added.
“Good. Very good. If you are in better shape tomorrow I can have you discharged the next day with prescriptions.” the doctor smiled.
“That would be fantastic, thank you Doc,” you smiled. “Is it alright if I tried walking around tomorrow?”
“I think you'd be alright. But I'd hold on a sick bucket if I were you. And you Sir Thomas, may try to regain your strength as well tomorrow. You have been on bed rest long enough. I think you'd do alright.” Thomas nodded dutifully and so the doctor left.
“We get out the day after tomorrow.” you said happily.
“Yes, I am glad as well... but where do we live?” Thomas asked anxiously.
“We are not far from Longbourne. My auntie has a vacation home there. I'm sure if I send a telegram now she can let us have it for a while.”
“That's great,” Thomas smiled. “Go ahead. Send the telegram.”
Two days later, the doctor gave the go signal for you and Thomas to be finally discharged. He prescribed you medicine and Thomas painkillers. He also instructed you to clean his wound and replace the bandage regularly. After signing papers, you two were off in a carriage to your aunt's vacation home. It's situated just outside the forest and it faces the beach.
You observed Thomas looking over the beach with a sad but relieved look to his face. You clutched his arm a little firmer, just to let him know you weren't going anywhere.
“What are you thinking about?” you asked him.
“A fresh page. A good one, with no blood splatters on it.”
“Will I be in it?”
“Every damn page.” he answered.
The house was cozy but also very breezy and cool given the fact that it's beside the beach. It's a great contrast compared to Thomas's previous home. When Allerdale Hall was dark, dank and scary, Longbourn was breezy, pastel and comforting. It relieved Thomas some weight off of his shoulders. There were no resemblance of his previous life in this home, making it easier to move on and to forgive himself.
“Well, this'll be our home for 6 months. At least, until we find somewhere more permanent. What do you think?” you sighed and looked around.
“Perfect,” Thomas said softly. “Do we have any problems regarding money?”
“None, well at least, not for a good while. You have my remaining inheritance. My mother, however— God rest her soul— has a vault and I of course have the key to said vault. It contains most of her precious jewelries, luckily none of them are family heirlooms so it'd be alright to pawn them.” you explained to him.
“You can spend all of your time reading and tinkering. Maybe when we get settled, you can sell toys and machine designs.” you added.
Thomas abruptly held your jaw and kissed you sweetly. “I had to make sure you're real. That this is real. I don't know what I'd do if I woke up from this dream.” he told you desperately.
“I am here,” you whispered. “With you. In this cozy vacation home next to the beach. I'm not going anywhere, Thomas.” You squeezed the hand that was placed on your jaw.
“Help me unpack?” you asked him.
“Of course.” he smiled.
There wasn't much to unpack, given your previous circumstances but still it was nice to do something mundane with your husband. After all, the mundane things are the only things that's keeping you sane right now. The trauma that Allerdale Hall gave you was nothing compared to what it gave Thomas. Although you are hurting too, you have to be the stronger one to keep Thomas from hurting himself more.
“The beach is incredibly tempting.” you said while looking out one of the many windows.
“A little walk in the sun wouldn't hurt.” Thomas said brightly.
“Only if you're coming with.”
“I wouldn't want my bride go unaccompanied.” he said while putting on his coat. You smiled when he offered you his arm before opening the front door.
The fresh air was more than lovely. After months of feeling suffocated, the breezy late afternoon feel of the beach was immaculate. You breathed in the salty air gratefully.
“We should live near a beach, or perhaps have a garden in front of our home.” Thomas suggested out of the blue.
“That would be lovely,” you smiled. “Somewhere cozy but breezy. Around neighbors but not crowded by them. Don't you think?”
“It would be paradise.” he said wistfully, staring up at the bright blue sky.
“Yes,” you agreed. “And that shall be our life til' eternity. Peaceful bliss.”
“I hope so.” Thomas said.
“I know so,” you said and it made him chuckle softly. “What?” you asked.
“Your optimism never ceases to amaze me.” There was a twinkle of admiration in his eyes, and if you weren't husband and wife you would've found yourself swooning.
“It keeps me afloat, and I hope it keeps you afloat too.”
“Do not worry. It does more than that, my love.” He brought your hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it gently, then placing his other hand on top of yours. As if locking the kiss into your skin like a sweet tattoo.
“It comforts me. It gives me courage. It drives my love for you. It does countless things. And if I loved you less, I would speak of all the reasons, but I cannot.” Thomas continued.
“I love you,” you told him.
“So do I.” he confessed breathlessly.
“You don't understand. I love you.” you said desperately.
Thomas's tongue got tied up for a moment before he could understand. “I understand,” he said to you. “I utterly and perfectly understand.”
Your lips locked instantly, forgetting the Then and focusing on the Now. A single tear rolled down your cheek but Thomas managed to wipe it with the thumb against you jaw. Breathless, you parted high on love.
“I wish to never part from you.” Thomas told you like it was scripture.
“Nor I.”