March 18, 1963
All across the palace, it was a joyous occasion. My mother had been in labor for over three hours, my sibling was about to be born. Well, it was joyous to everyone except me. This was the day I would be removed from the succession. My parent's plan was coming to fruition. The painful part was, I had no idea why she wanted me out of the inheritance. I wasn't a troublesome teenager, I was respectful to authority figures, to our way of life. There should be no valid reason to replace me.
Dear Journal,
I don't think I will ever understand my mother and father's thinking in this plan of theirs. I mean it seems to defy common logic. I've never been a bad child, or at least to the point that it seems a necessity to have another heir! My grandmother, Charlotte, threatened my mother when she was ten years old because she was a naughty child. Ransacking the kitchen with the noble children, abandoning her post at state meetings, being openly disrespectful. I don't believe I've been that bad... right? I mean, I blew up at her three years ago about decolonization, and I regret it yes, but that could not possibly be what turned my mother against me! It can't!
A small tear falls onto the page and it saturates the ink, rubbing off some of it. I wipe my eyes and continue writing.
Maybe I shall start looking for a husband, that of course is not my cousin. I mean, once he or she is born I'll have no reason to remain in the palace. But who is the real question? Should I continue the tradition of marrying into a German court? Or should I go more of the path towards a Russian spouse? Prince Sato... oh I wish I could pursue him... he is incredibly handsome and we have been exchanging letters back and forth for months. Whenever I read those letters or see him I feel my heart flutter in delight. But Japan and America have been quite tense, I fear marrying a Japanese man would damage the relationship even more. Oh god, what do I do? I have no intention of my nation feeling as though I've betrayed it. I will write more when I have the chance to.
I closed my journal and set it aside. Then I placed my quill back in the pot of ink. I stood up from my desk and walked to the window. I stared longingly at New York Sound, where massive cruise ships sailed in and out, trade ships departed for faraway lands and the powerful war fleet floated idly as well. I saw hundreds of people conversing, walking and working to and from the port. The massive skyscrapers of New York rose as powerful beacons of our wealth and power.
"Once upon a time this would've been yours, Josephine," I muttered to myself.
I was jolted out of my thoughts with a hard knock on the door.
"Who is it?" I asked.
"It is I, Conroy, your highness," Conroy responded.
"Enter,"
I turned to face my guard as he entered my room. He bowed stiffly and folded his hands behind his back.
"Princess, your mother has just given birth to a healthy baby boy, who has been named John Francis," He stated.
I nodded. Though I wasn't happy about what this meant for me, I was happy that he was born safe and my mother was safe.
"Good, I would hate for either of them to be hurt," I replied roughly, trying to hide my true feelings.
He cocked his right eyebrow, breaking through my facade.
"Something tells me you're not being honest with me your highness," he said, eyeing me.
"Are you accusing me of lying Conroy!"
"Absolutely not! You just seem to be hiding your true emotions,"
I quickly calmed down. Conroy was 66 years old and had worked with the royal family for God knows how many years. I sat on my bed.
"You're right Conroy, I am just so upset!"
He sat next to me.
"About your brother?"
"No no, why my mother would seek to replace me!... Conroy... I'm not a bad child am I?"
"Absolutely not your highness... would you like to hear a story?"
"I'm twelve years old, not seven," I replied jokingly, "But whatever, fine,"
When I was younger, Conroy would always tell me fantastical stories and fables before I would go to sleep.
"So, you do know when I was born correct?" He asked.
"Uhh... 1897 right?"
"My my I am old!" He cried out jokingly.
I giggled but let him continue.
"I joined the royal guard when I was twenty-one, it was my first career, I had just gotten married and life was good, the year was 1921. I was summoned by your grandmother, Charlotte, and believe me, I was freaking out, When I walked into her office, I was shaking, sweating, I thought I had screwed up big time, but it turns out no... your grandmother had a special task for me... to be the bodyguard of her newborn daughter Leah,"
"Hold the phone! You were my mother's bodyguard as well!?" I demanded in disbelief.
"Mmm Hmm, At first, I was thinking, I'm supposed to lay down my life for the Imperial Family, but instead I'm a god-forsaken babysitter!?" He shouted like he was upset, which he probably was 42 years ago.
"Then I thought... oh bah, how difficult could it be... turns out... your mother was the worst child on earth! I was constantly berated and reprimanded for her crazed shenanigans! Trashing and raiding the kitchen, being openly disrespectful to authority, skipping lessons with her tutors, she was just a brat," He ranted.
I laughed.
"Was she really that bad?" I asked, covering my mouth with my hand.
"She was awful! I nearly lost my job multiple times! When she was ten she ran off in the middle of the night, three other guards and I fanned out through the Capital to find her. We spent nearly 20 hours in the streets frantically trying to find her. We finally found her walking with a group of soldiers who handed her over, I swear to God I nearly quit that day,"
"So... what does this have to do with me?"
"Your mother was the most spoiled brat growing up, you are nothing like her, you definitely are more like your father in that respect, whatever reason your mother has for replacing you, it has nothing to do with your behavior. So please don't tear yourself apart over this, your mother and father love you unconditionally, forever and ever okay?"
I nodded.
"Thank you, Conroy," I replied.
"No problem your highness, now I have some other tasks to get to-"
"Actually, before you get to that, could you please escort me to my parent's room? I would like to meet my baby brother..."
He smiled warmly.
"Of course your highness,"
We stood up and Conroy led me down the hall towards my parent's room. A couple of guards nodded to me and opened the door. I walked into my parents' bedroom, which I rarely visited. My mother was passed out under the covers, which makes sense, and my father stood in front of the bed, holding the baby, who was swaddled in a red blanket. My father and I have grown closer in these past few months, so things are not as tense. He looked up and his warm smile grew.
"Josephine... meet John Francis," He said in his slick Austrian accent.
I looked at him and right away noticed his bright blue eyes. I had gotten my father and mother's eyes, which were chocolate brown. He had some tufts of brown hair as well. His face was round and sorta reddish, probably from crying for air when he was born.
"Hi, John Francis..." I said, smiling invitingly, "My name is Josephine,"
His eyes widened and he smiled and giggled. He even clapped his tiny little hands together.
"He likes you,"
He was beyond happy and he was thrilled. So was I, I had waited so long to be a big sister, but had given up. Now here he was and he was all that I had hoped for. At this moment I didn't care if I was being replaced. My baby brother was all that I cared about.
"Would you like to hold him?"
"Really? I would love to," I whispered.
I carefully held out my arms as my father handed John Francis to me. The baby reached out with his teeny hand and placed it on my cheek. He giggled as I gently swayed him back and forth.
"How long do you think until mother recovers?" I asked my father, not taking my eyes off my brother.
"Fully... A couple of days, but she should be back on her feet by tomorrow,"
"He's so precious father,"
"Both my children are,"
I looked up at him and I knew he meant it.