Epilogue
"Can you not go there? Why did you even took a seat if you know your schedule is hectic?" I heard daddy say to mom was the reason I just kept quiet. We are at the dinner table, and fortunately, I have no duty now, so I will have time for myself.
We are here at the table having a quiet breakfast, and I didn't expect that they will invite me for this one because I'm not used to it. If there's a family gathering, Trixielle is always the one who's inviting me, but I don't want to go because she was the only one who invited me.
"Ano bang sinasabi mo? Puwede naman akong pumunta sa fashion show na 'yun atsaka nandoon yung favorite kong modelo na si Pauline." ang banggit niya sa isang modelo na dahilan para hindi na ako makielam.
My mom acts like a teen. She's obsessed with these models that are always on the runway wearing lingerie and even Trixielle. They are always watching fashion shows on tv or maybe in the real event, and I can't relate to them because it's a girl's thing.
"E ang dami nga nating gagawin, puwede mo namang mapanood 'yan sa tv." pag-papaalala ni daddy kay mommy na dahilan para marinig ko ang marahan nitong pag-singhap na para bang isang bata na hindi napag-bigyan sa gustong laruan.
"Pero iba siya sa mismong event, hello? Binigyan ako ng chance na manood kaya sa tingin mo sasayangin ko lang na hindi makita ang mga suot nilang lingerie? Tss, gusto mo atang ako ang mag-suot nun at dalhin ka sa kama e."
Halos malaglag ang panga ko dahil sa sinabi ni mom at saktong nasa harap pa kami ng hapag-kainan. Ganyan talaga siya, kung ano ang gusto niyang sabihin ay sasabihin niya kahit ano pa man ang sitwasyon.
Tss, my mom is wild when it comes to my dad.
"Tumigil ka nga, nasa harap tayo ng hapag-kainan at naririnig ka ng mga anak mo." ang pananaway ni daddy na dahilan para makita ko si mama na umikot ang mga mata na para bang naiirita na ito kay daddy.
Ano bang mayroon sa fashion show at ginagigiliwan ito ni mommy at Trix?
"Dapat kasi nilagay mo sa schedule mo 'yan kung alam mong may pupuntahan kang lakad." sunod-sunod ang pag-papaalala ni daddy na sa tono palang ay ramdam mo ng gusto ka niyang matuto.
He's a retired soldier, that's why he's like that. He's strict sometimes, but I can count on him. He always teaches me some tricks and tips about being a soldier. That helped me to gain my sense when it comes to my job. He always says that being a soldier is like giving up your whole life to bullets.
"Shut up, Manuel! Nakalimutan ko, okay? Hindi ako makakapunta sa fashion show na inaabangan ko, iyon pa naman yung hinihintay ko dahil nandoon si Pauline."
I think Pauline is great at modeling that's why my mom adores her. I'm not into those kinds of vibe because I'm busy handling the company and also my duty as a soldier.
"Ikaw ba, Trix? May pupuntahan ka ngayon?" tanong ni mom at bumaling ang tingin sa kapatid kong katabi ko. Tumango naman si Trix bilang sagot dito na dahilan para mapa-nguso si mom dahil alam niyang kailangan niyang pumunta doon o kapalit man.
"Iyan si kuya, wala naman sigurong gagawin 'yan dahil walang pasok." suhuestiyon ni Trix na dahilan para kumunot ang noo kong tumingin sa kanya. Hindi niya ako pinansan at pinag-patuloy lang pagkain niya.
"I'm not even into those kinds of things." matipid kong sabi at uminom ng tubig dahil pakiramdam ko ay nanuyo ang lalamunan ko sa sinabi niyang puwedeng ako ang pumunta sa fashion show na hindi naman talaga ako sanay.
"Kailangan ko ng kapalit na pupunta sa fashion show, VIP pa naman ako doon kaso itong daddy mo kasi ay biglang nag-lalagay ng schedule ng hindi ko man lang alam." binigyan niya ng masamang tingin si daddy pero hindi siya nabahala. Marami siguro silang ginagawa dahil sa dagsa nanaman ang mga investors sa kompanya na kanila nilang pag-tuunan ng pansin.
"Kung sinabi mo rin kasi na may sarili kang lakad e' magagawan ko ng paraan, Selina." naging malamim ang boses ni daddy at kapag ganyan na ang boses niya ay naiirita na ito dahil sa panay ang salita ni mama.
Mom's eyes went to mine, the reason why my forehead creased. She looks at me head to toe as if she's analyzing if I'm fit to go to the fashion show she wants to attend, I can't even imagine myself wearing some fancy clothes because I'm not that kind of man.
Minsan lang ako mag-ayos sa totoo lang, the simple ones are better than being exaggerated.
"Ikaw ang pupunta sa fashion show." ang matipid niyang sabi na dahilan para umigting ang panga ko dahil alam kong wala akong karapatan para tumanggi sa sinabi niya pero wala naman akong hilig sa mga ganyan.
"Alam kong wala kang hilig sa fashion, presensya mo lang ang kailangan doon at hindi mo kailangang manood." sa isang iglap ay naging malamig ang boses niya nung kausap ako. Ganyan naman siya palagi sa akin, sa akin lang siya ganyan dahil hindi niya naman ako paborito.
"Tatanggi ka ba?" mataray niyang tanong sa akin na dahilan para mag-pakawala ako ng isang malalim na hininga at umiling nalang bilang sagot. Hindi ako makakatanggi sa kanya dahil nanay ko siya kahit na hindi niya ako tinuturing na anak.
Ganon naman tayong lahat, kahit na hindi tayo tanggap ang pinag-sisiksikan pa rin natin ang sarili natin.
"Okay, that's good to hear. I'm the one who will pick your clothes for the fashion show because I know you're just going to wear a simple one. That's ew," mom said with sarcasm because she knows that I have no sense when it comes to fashion. I have a hard time dealing with clothes because I have different tastes, and I'm always wearing a combat uniform or tuxedo.
Hindi na nga nag-tagal ay natapos na kaming kumain at heto ako nasa loob ng kwarto ko habang hinahayaan ang nanay ko na kalkalin ang closet ko na nag-babakasakaling may puwede siyang iterno sa puting polong hawak-hawak niya.
"Act simply in the fashion show. Don't be firm and use your civilian antics." she reminded me of the reason why I sighed and went in front of the mirror to check my hair. Maybe I can use some wax on it so it will look great.
"Use civilian antics, wala ka sa kampo ngayon." muli niyang pag-papaalala na dahilan para mapag-laruan ko ang dila ko. Iyon lang ang sinasabi niya sa akin sa tuwing may pupuntahan kami.
She doesn't want me to be prim and proper in front of our family members. My mom is always saying to me that if I'm not wearing a combat uniform, I should not use my military actuation. My mom is strict when it comes to me as if she always wants me to be perfect, and she's always playing safe.
"Nakikinig ka ba sa akin?" tanong niya na dahilan para maibaling ko siya ang tingin ko. Malamig naman akong tumango bilang sagot na dahilan para umikot ang kanyang mga mata na halatang-halata naman na ayaw niya akong makasama sa iisang kwarto.
She's like that, and I'm busy proving myself to her because I want her to realize that I can also be the son she can be proud of.
"Heto, isuot mo na 'to." binigay niya sa akin ang puting polo at ang slacks na mabuti't nakita niya na puwedeng iterno sa pantaas ko. Kinuha ko na ito at pumasok na sa loob ng banyo para mag-palit na.
"Use this coat to add some style. You look dull," mom commented and gave me the nude-colored coat that I have no idea where she got it. I put on the coat and slowly looked in the mirror to look at myself. My eyebrows rose for a moment because I was not always in this shape, and it was strange to me.
"Take a picture of Pauline for me. I'm sure siya ang huling rarampa." matipid ang mga sagot ko sa nanay ko habang inaayos niya ang kwelyo ng coat ko. Wala naman akong magawa dahil sa naka-suot na ako ng pang-alis para pumunta sa fashion show na wala naman akong pakielam.
It didn't take long for me to get to the fashion show, and I couldn't help but blink because of the flash of the cameras that I did not expect. If my mother is here, I'm sure that many of the cameras are going to take some pictures of her.
I sat down in its chair. I immediately leaned my back in the seat, and in front of me was a cameraman intending to take shots and poses of models.
Soon the people on the ramp got ready, and there was a band that would play like the ones I see abroad to add fun to the viewers. The surroundings were also dark, and only the stage was lit where the models would walk.
I yawned, and even before the show started I was bored already. I quiet because I don't know anyone at the fashion show. The lights became dim, and the band is starting to wake the crowd with their loud music.
The opening I guess, tss.
Hindi nag-tagal ay nag-simula na ang rampa at kaagad na nag-lakad ang isang babae suot-suot ang lingerie nito. Siya ang unang nag-lakad sa rampa at masasabi ko lang na hindi naman masama pala ang manood sa mga ganitong show.
Pero sa simula lang pala iyon dahil habang patagal ng patagal ay nawawala na ang atensyon ko dito na dahilan para buksan ko na ang phone ko at panay na ang kalkal ko dito.
This fashion show is boring, and I knew that I have no taste when it comes to this.
"It's her time already, siya na ang huling rarampa kaya damihan mo ng kuha." ang rinig kong sabi ng cameraman na dahilan para kumunot ang noo ko. Bigla kong naalala ang sinabi ni mama na kuhaan ko ang paborita niyang modelo na si Pauline na dahilan para buksan ko ang camera ng phone ko.
Maybe, that Pauline is good at modeling because my mom is obsessed with her, and I don't even know her face. The wild became wild, and all of a sudden, they are shouting and cheering for someone, the reason why I just rolled my eyes.
Hinanda ko na ang camera ko dahil sa utos na nga ng nanay ko na kuhaan ko ng litrato ang paborito niyang modelo na wala naman akong pakielam. Tinapat ko na ang camera ko sa mismong stage at medyo naka-harang pa ang cameraman sa tapat ko na dahilan para hindi ko pa masilayan ang modelo.
My jaw clenched as if I'm losing my temper already because of the cameraman who's blocking the way, but when he gets out of the way, my eyes went to a model that is confidently walking on the runway with her clouded leopard lingerie.
My brows furrowed because of its abs and legs that are flaunting. She flashed a smile on the crowd with her pointed walk that gives a good ending to the fashion show. Inside of me, I felt weird, and my manliness hit me all of a sudden.
She had this long brown hair, cupid lips, and cat-shaped eyes, but the best part of her body is her legs. My jaw clenched as she made the crowd wild with just her walk. She's even waving at the crowd and flashing a good smile.
This is Pauline?
"Damn, Avonlea Czanelle is something." ang rinig kong sabi ng isang manonood na dahilan para kumunot ang noo ko. Anong sinasabi nilang Avonlea Czanelle e' hindi ba siya si Pauline?
"Yeah, bro. Maganda na nauna si Pauline sa rampa at hinuli nila si Avon, double kill sa ganda!" masayang sabi ng katabi ko na dahilan para mahina akong matawa. Sinong tanga-tangang inakala na ang huling mag-lalakad sa rampa ay si Pauline?
That's what mom said. She said to me that it will be Pauline who will end the fashion show, but this woman named Avonlea Czanelle is the model who will do it. Fuck! I missed the chance to take a picture of Pauline that I thought who will end the runway.
"Tangina," mura ko na dahilan para ibaling ko na ang tingin sa rampa at halos matigilan ako ng mag-tama ang tingin namin ng modelong 'yun. Her cat-shaped eyes were locked on me, the reason why I gulped. She looks cute wearing that lingerie.
Everyone is clapping except me, and I was stunned when I saw her eyes glued to me. I can't look away, and I can't handle that her walk is a bomb, she's getting closer to the camera, and that's the time she posed with some expressions
She winked with elegance and last the reason why I played my tongue with this lips formed into a smile. She posed and made the crowd wild with the ending pose.
Damn, that's sexy.
When it was time for her to leave the ramp, she turned to look at me again, which was the reason I caught her. She smirked, and that made my manliness hit me, that elegant heart-shaped lips are distracting me. I remembered her name, it's Avonlea Czanelle, right?
Tss, how can she kill me all of a sudden with that walk? She's elegant and good to be a girlfriend for me.
Damn it, am I attracted to that woman? Rumampa lang naman pero kung ano-ano na ang pinaramdam sa akin, tangina.
Hindi na nga nag-tagal ay natapos na ang rampa at halos mapa-ngisi ako ng makita kong kausap niya si Pauline na iniidolo ng nanay ko. Nasa kanya lang ang atensyon ko marahil simple nalang ang suot nito na dahilan para maging komportable siya.
Ang ganda niya sa totoo lang, ibang klase. Can I just take her home?
Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko at palihim kong kinuha ang phone ko para kunan siya ng litrato. Kahit ang pag-sasalita niya ay kinababaliw ko na dahilan para umigting ang panga ko, baka pati pag-hinga nito ay maganda na rin sa akin, tss.
Baliw ka na, Archi.
I got a photo of her with Pauline, and I can't help but smile when I got a stolen shot of her smiling. Her eyes are happy when she smiled, and the lips are torturing me all of a sudden. Damn it! I never felt this way before to a woman.
Ayaw ko sa commitment, hindi uso sa akin ang ganon pero nung nakita ko ang babaeng 'yun ay halos itali ko na ang sarili ko dito.
You like her?
Yeah, I like that model who locked eyes with me. She got me on her walk and I remembered her name, Avonlea Czanelle...the woman who got my attention.
Tss, I'm crazy over that woman.
"Huy, kuya! Kanina ka pa naka-ngiti diyan sa phone mo, sino ba 'yan?" ang tanong sa akin ni Trix na dahilan para samaan ko siya ng tingin, ano bang pakielam niya kung naka-ngiti ako?
It's been a month when I last saw this woman named Avonlea Czanelle. I mean, she got me on her walk, and that made me crazy for a month. I found myself watching her runway compilations, and I'm addicted to it.
I even got her picture in my wallet, I was crazy to do that, and I never felt this way before. She's so amazing, and I don't know if I can talk to her if the time will come that I will meet her. I'm crazy for her but I know she doesn't like me at all.
"May jowa ka na ba?" tumango naman ako bilang sagot na dahilan para manlaki ang mga mata niya. Mahina nalang akong natawa at nilagay ang phone sa bulsa ko at nakita kong gusto niyang malaman kung sino ba ang tinutukoy ko.
Jowa ko si crush kaso ako lang ang may alam, tss.
"Sino yung jowa mo?!" ang habol niya sa akin na dahilan para mapa-ngisi nalang ako. Ako lang naman ang may alam na girlfriend ko si Avonlea, ako lang naman ang umaasta pero sa totoo lang ay nawala ang takot sa pag-pasok sa relasyon dahil sa kanya.
That woman ruled me even though she has no idea how crazy I am for her.
"My girlfriend is beautiful and she made the crowd wild with her walk."
"Your girlfriend is a model?!" nanlalaki na ang mga mata nito na dahilan para mas lalo ko siyang asarin. Ang alam niya kasi ay hindi ako pala-kausap sa mga babae pero itong babaeng ito ang nag-pabago sa akin sa isang iglap.
Our eyes locked in the fashion show, and that's the time I fell in love with her. I can remember how her walk made me crazy and stunned. She flaunted her toned abs and long legs, which I adore the most.
"Yeah. Your kuya's girlfriend is a model, want to meet her?"
The time I met her, my heart stopped beating, and I became stunned when I saw her beautiful face. She looks stunning as ever wearing the fitted gold dress with her hair down, damn! She looks perfect, and I can't handle myself anymore.
"Hey, woman." I tried to maintain my cool in front of her. I saw her taking a glance at my face as if she's trying to memorize it. It's been a month since the last time I saw her face, and I'm still in awe of how perfect she is.
Avonlea Czanelle is an art that is not tiring to look at.
"Hey, captain..."
When she opened his mouth, I could hardly breathe. Her voice sounds like a lullaby, and her cat-shaped eyes are killing me. She looks sexy and cute at the same time, damn it! I gulped, and my heart went wild again, and my manliness hit me because of this beautiful woman in front of me.
She called me Captain so it means that she knows me?
"Do you remember me?" she asked, the reason why I tried to gain my sense. I tilted my head and trying to pretend that I don't know her but the truth is, I'm always looking at her picture for a month already. Fuck! I'm crazy about her, but I have to take it slow because I might scare her.
She looks beautiful and I can imagine myself as her husband, tss.
"Yeah, I remember you. You're the model who locked eyes with me last month on the fashion show...Avonlea Czanelle, right?"
I know you. You're the woman I locked eyes with and the woman I fell in love with her walk. Avonlea Czanelle, I want her, but I don't know if she wants me. She got me already, and I'm just waiting for her to fall.
I love you, Avon...that's the truth.
"You're suspended for almost twelve months Salvatierra and base on your rehabilitation is that you met our standards to give you a chance again in this camp, I hope you will not disappoint you, fellow soldiers, again."
The General is holding a meeting and it's only the two of us, I gained my sense and trying to be firm in front of him because I'm thankful that they gave me a chance to be in the camp again.
After twelve months of being suspended because of my actions I'm already getting back in the camp, what did I do for a year when I'm suspended? Nothing, just wait for me to go in a battle again wearing my uniform again.
"I will sir, no mistake from now on" I promised on him the reason why he nodded as an answer, I know they will still doubt me as their enemy and all I have to do is to prove that I'm ready to serve again my country with honesty.
It was just one mistake but I treat it as a lesson also, in that mistake I'm with the person I cherished.
I lose to a battle because of that person but it's still clear to me what she did to me that I realized that maybe it's not yet the time for us.
She used to be mine, that woman used to be mine.
"You know we have a conflict between the Albundo group and I will allow you to be with us when it comes to operations."
Albundo group, the group that is feared by the people because of their cruelty. The place La Estrelita is a peaceful place but it became chaos their when the Albundo group started to sown the province, many people died because of the sudden explosion in there and there's a possibility that the group is a big one.
The La Estrelita is full of mountains and I think the Albundo group is hiding there, even though I was suspended for almost twelve months I just took my uniform but my service to the country didn't stop.
I'm still updated on what is happening inside the camp and I know they are under siege on the La Estrelita to catch the leader of the group.
They are against the government and still, we have no clue what is their message and what did the government do for them to do chaos in La Estrelita.
"Our troops are trying to do a siege on the La Estrelita but first we are planning to evacuate the people living there in a safe place."
Albundo group burned houses and some residents were hostage, I do believe that the cause of the outrage is somehow connected to political factors or maybe poverty.
"But thankfully we got one of them but he's not willing to surrender his group, their outrage is a big impact and trauma to the residents of La Estrelita."
I clenched my jaw and leaned my back on the backrest of the chair, if they got one on the group then why is that person not telling the reason for their attacks?
"Who's that person you captured?"
"We found out that the one we captured is the leader's brother" I was stunned for a second on what the General said, they are lucky that they captured the brother of the leader but I think he's not willing to surrender the group, he's not even giving a clue on us because he's trying to protect the group.
"How're the residents on there?" I asked with a serious tone, I can feel that my service is needed in La Estrelita. I'm thinking about the kids there who are traumatized and scared of their surroundings, they are too young to experience this.
"They are scared and crying, they are hearing bomb explosions every night and shootings that means that the group is like hunting to create fear."
Nasapo ko ang noo ko dahil sa kahit wala pa naman ako sa laban ay naiisip ko na ang mga nararanasan nila doon. Imagine, as a parent you need to do your best just to keep your children safe and even though you can hear bomb explosions every night you need to be strong.
We all feared the group but we need to end this, alam kong nag-plaplano na sila dahil sa nadakip ang kapatid ng leader nila at kailangan naming maging alerto sa mga aksyong gagawin namin.
"Their outrage is somehow a historical one, ano pa bang kaya nilang gawin?" I bit my lower lip and trying to think of a plan, of all the battles I joined this is the worst one because the group is large and some of them show no mercy.
"The team is doing their best to search for some actions and their routines, this group is not like the other groups we fought."
I nodded as an answer, after twelve months of being suspended here I am getting ready to do my job as a soldier. I held my military dog tag wherein there's my name on it, Captain Gustavo Archielle Salvatierra ready to do his mission to stop this outrage.
"Some soldiers are already wounded because of the explosion or someone sniped them, when I talked to them I asked them if they still want to be in the battle and they said yes."
The passion and the promise they are holding to keep the country peaceful, the duty of the soldier is not to die for his country but to make the enemy die for his. As a soldier my service is for all, I will be one of the soldiers who will join the battle.
Fear of being wounded and the worst is death?
No, when I entered and took an oath to my country I expected this kind of situations. Hindi ko tatalikuran ang bansa ko kung kailan nasa isang laban ang isang lugar na kung saan ginulo ng isang grupo na may galit sa pamamalakad.
"They didn't doubt to answer me, even though some of them are already crippled it's not an excuse for them to be with us."
Ang puso ng pagiging sundalo ay puso na rin para sa kanyang bansa, I hope this will end because I don't want the residents of the La Estrelita to be traumatized and scared for years.
"This battle begins already when we captured the leader's brother, mas lalo nilang palalakasin ang grupo nila dahil sa hawak natin ang kasama nila. We should be ready and you're tasked to lead your comrades, Captain Gustavo Archielle Salvatierra. I'm counting on you."
The way the General called my name with my rank is the start of my service already, he declared me as a soldier again and I will do my best as a captain to end this war.
"General, general!" someone opened the door all of a sudden and I saw First Lieutenant Agacita, he was panting and I can see that he has something to tell us.
"First Lieutenant Agacita, what is your problem?" napatayo ang heneral na may halong pag-tataka sa kanyang noo habang ako naman ay hinihintay ko kung ano ang sasabihin ng kapwa ko sundalo.
He saluted first to the General and I can still hear his panting the reason why my jaw clenched, ano bang gusto niyang sabihin?
"What is your problem, Agacita?" the General asked on him.
"General, the President declared martial law in La Estrelita."
Sa sinabi ni Agacita ay kaagad kaming nag-katinginan ng heneral at ramdam ko ang pag-taas ng balahibo ko dahil sa dineklara ng Presidente, he declared martial law which means the military has the control of normal civil functions.
"The President suspended the civil law. What do we do, General?"
What do we do as soldiers? The president already declared martial law in La Estrelita because of the crisis.
The time has come, my man.
The time has come to come back and guide your comrades.
Captain Gustavo Archielle Salvatierra, ready for the war.
My field near the river, it's sad to know that you're not here to see me getting back on my job but I know you're proud of me. You left me behind and years already passed but I don't know where you are.
I miss you, I miss you, but I'm not expecting you to come back. I just don't know why, but I stopped waiting for years already. I stopped looking at your pictures and even our memories that I'm trying to bury.
You left me again, the reason why I stopped waiting already.
Iniwan mo ako dahil sa tingin mo ay iyon ang makakabuti at hanggang ngayon ay iniintindi pa rin kita kung bakit mo nagawa 'yun. Hindi ko alam kung nasaan ka pero sana masaya ka dahil alam kong sinusuportahan mo pa rin ako.
Alam mo ba mahal pa rin kita kahit na hindi na ako umaasang babalik ka pa?
It hurts that you left me for the third time, and that's when I realized that maybe this is not the right time for us. You make sure that I can still be part of the camp even though I committed also a mistake.
Sinigurado mo na hindi mawawala ang pinag-hirapan ko at nag-papasalamat ako dahil doon.
I miss you pero nangako ako sa sarili ko na hindi na kita hihintayin. Miss na kita pero sinabi ko sa sarili ko na hindi na ako mangungulit para hanapin ka.
Kung nasaan ka man ay sana masaya ka dahil iyon ang ginagawa ko ngayon. Mahal na mahal kita pero kailangan ko ring piliin ang sarili ko dahil sa dulo ay sarili ko lang naman ang dapat kong ikonsidira.
"Bomba!" ang sigaw ng isa kong kasama na dahilan para kaagad akong tumakbo at sa isang iglap ay iyon na ang tunog ng bomba na halos mabingi na ako. Hingal na hingal at ramdam ko ang pawis sa aking likuran dahil sa nangyayareng laban.
I'm here in the battlefield, holding my gun and gasping for some air because of the smoke made by the explosion. Walls are destructed and holes are on it as a sign the bullets passed through it, I was panting heavily because of the loud bombs and shootings.
This is my job, my job is to kill the starter of this war who distracted the peace of La Estrelita. Many people died because of their brutal killing the reason why the President declared martial law in the place.
We need to end this, we have to bring back peace here.
"Agacita, doon ka sa kabila!" ang senyas ko kay Agacita na dahilan para maging alerto siyang pumunta sa kabila. Tinaas ko ang kamay ko bilang senyas ng pag-putok namin ng baril, nung sinara ko ito ay doon namin pinalitan ng sunod-sunod na bala ang kalaban.
All of them are wearing a mask and their guns are loaded with bullets. I can't believe that they distracted the peace of this place, but I want to understand their reasons. It doesn't have to be this way, we can settle this in a personal talk, but they decided to sow terror here.
"Lumabas kayong mga sundalo kayo dahil tatadtarin namin ng bala 'yang mga katawan niyo!" ang sigaw ng isang lalaki na dahilan para umigting ang panga ko. Alam kong may mga sniper lang sa paligid kaya dapat lang akong maging handa, hindi ko alam kung anong mangyayare pero kailangan kong ayusin ang diwa ko.
"Bakit ba kayo pumunta dito?! Sirang-sira na ang lugar na 'to at sa tingin niyo ba natatakot kami sa inyo?!" napunta ang tingin ko kay Agacita at nakita kong natataranta na rin siya. Nag-pakawala ako ng isang malalim na hininga pero ramdam ko pa rin ang pawis ko sa likuran ko.
This is my job and this is how I will protect my country.
Isang putok nanaman ng baril ang narinig ko na dahilan para unti-unti akong mag-lakad paalis sa kinatatayuan ko para humanap ng tamang tiyempo para barilin sila.
Pumasok ako sa isang sirang bahay at sinubukang umakyat sa bubong nito at doon ko na nga sila nakita, marami sila at kita ko ang mga baril nila na halos kaya kang tadtarin ng bala sa isang iglap. Dumapa ako at tinutok ang baril sa isa sa mga kasama nila at hindi nag-tagal ay pinakawala ito.
"Tangina, hanapin niyo!" ang sigaw ng isang kasama nito ng makitang nakabulagta na ang kasama nila. Hindi ko na pinalagpas ang pag-kakataon na bawasan sila isa-isa at mas lalo silang naging alerto na dahilan para kumalat sila.
"Shit," I cursed because they became alert and trying to find the shooter but I saw Agacita hiding in a house. Kapag nakita nila ito ay tiyak na tatadtarin nila ito ng bala at hindi ako papayag doon.
Hinahanda na ni Agacita ang baril niya dahil sa may lumalapit na dito, kaagad kong tinutok kaagad ang baril sa taong malapit na sa kanya at pinakawalan ito kaagad na dahilan para mabawasan sila.
Kaunti nalang ay matatapos na itong lahat, kaunti nalang ay babalik na ang kapayapaan dito sa La Estrelita at nangako akong babalik ako.
Hindi ako yung klase ng taong hindi tumutupad ng pangako, kapag sinabi kong babalik ako ay babalik ako.
"Hanapin niyo, bilisan niyo!" unti-unti na silang nauubos at nakita kong may iba ng mga sundalo ang lumabas sa isang armored car. Mas lalo akong ginanahan maging si Agacita na nasa ibaba, mukhang naalis ko ang atensyon nila kay Agacita.
Pero hindi ko inaasahan na biglang may mag-papaputok sa akin sa itaas ng bubong. Sa pag-lingan ko dito ay tumama ang isang bala sa helmet ko na dahilan para bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko, tangina! Sniper!
Patuloy lang ito sa pag-papaputok sa akin sa itaas na dahilan para maalarma ang mga kasama nito na nasa taas ako. Tangina, hindi ako mag-papatalo sa kanila at kailangan ko pang mabuhay.
"Fuck," I cursed and shot the sniper, but suddenly the bullet came, and it went to my chest, the reason why I bit my lower lip. The roof became vulnerable, and the sniper keeps shooting the reason why it's collapsing already.
Sa huling putok nito ay doon na nga nasira ang bubong na dahilan para malaglag ako sa mga debris at mga bata. Napadaing ako dahil sa maling pag-kakabagsak maging sa bala na nasa dibdib ko na.
"Huwag ka ng gumalaw, alam naming andiyan ka!" ang sigaw ng isang terorista na dahilan para kaagad akong mag-tago sa isang pader at kitang-kita na ang mga butas dito dahil sa mga balang dumaan na dito.
Sumandal ako sa pader at suminghap ng malalim, pinikit ko ang mga mata ko dahil sa balang nakabaon sa dibdib ko at kitang-kita na ang pag-durugo nito. Hindi puwede, hindi ako puwedeng mang-hina ngayon dahil kailangan ko silang samahan para matapos 'tong laban na ito.
"Ikaw, pesteng sundalo ka." I heard them laughing, but I can't see where they are. They are hiding in four corners of the room, and I can feel their presence that it made me gasped for air.
It's me alone. I'm wounded, and I know they are already around me. The terrorists are planning to fill my body with bullets, and I'm not taking any chances like that. I'm gasping already, but I saw something underneath the debris.
Napalunok ako dahil sa bagay na natatakpan ng debris at parang nanghina ako bigla. Hindi ko hahayaan na tadtarin nila ng bala ang katawan ko, hinding-hindi ako papayag na mapuno ng bala ang katawan ko.
"Captain, are you still there? Over," tunog ng radio ko na dahilan para mapa-ngisi ako. Nasa paligid ko na ang mga terorista at hinihintay na nila akong lumaban pero sa totoo lang ay mas gusto kong umupo nalang dito at pag-masdan ang buwan.
"Captain--"
"I'm still here. They are surrounding me already." I chuckled while holding my chest that has a bullet already. I'm gasping for air, and my sweats are going down already. I can still hear the sounds of guns and bombs outside, but here, I just felt peace and rest.
"Captain, we will send some--"
"No, I have this little friend underneath a debris. It wants to get out already." I looked at that thing underneath the debris and it's blinking already even though it's night.
"Tapos ka na bang makipag-usap diyan?" natatawang sabi ng terorista na dahilan para umigting ang panga ko. Sa tingin niya hahayaan kong tatadtarin nila ng bala ang katawan ko?
"Captain, the help is on the way--"
"Do it. Send the message." I cut him off, and the radio is losing its signal already. I shut my eyes for a second because of the bullet buried in my chest, it hurts, but I have to deal with it because I'm a soldier.
"Captain, what do you mean?" sa tanong na iyon ay nawalan ako ng sasabihin, panay na ang pag-pikit ng mga mata ko at ramdam kong unti-unti na akong nawawalan ng lakas. Ano bang gagawin ko sa sitwasyon na ito?
Ang sabi ko babalik ako pero bakit ganito ang nararamdaman ko?
Sinubukan kong kunin ang wallet sa bulsa ko at halos pumorma ang isang ngiti sa aking labi ng makita ang isang litrato ng isang babae. Ang litrato na iningatan ko ng ilang taon at ang litratong mayroon ako na hinding-hindi ko pag-sasawaan.
Your presence still lingers me and I don't know where are you, Avon.
I looked at the picture, and it made me smile when I saw her beautiful face that lightens up my world. It made my heart race for the last time when our memories flashed in my mind, and all of sudden, tears filled my eyes.
I miss you, I really miss you, Avon, but I promised myself not to find you anymore. You still have me, but it's hard to accept that you let go of me for the third time. You ended the war by surrendering yourself to the military, and you said to them that we should not see each other again.
Tumulo ang mga luha ko dahil sa itsura mong naka-ukit na isipan ko. Ang ganda, sobrang ganda mo pa rin kahit na isang taon na kitang hindi nakikita. Walang kupas ang ganda mo at masasabi kong ibang klase na minahal kita.
I held your picture with a smile and tears falling on my cheeks. The night became loud, but here inside the room, it's peaceful, and all of a sudden, I want to sleep.
If you're still alive, I hope you're happy because I also did the same thing.
"Captain, help is on your way--"
"Bomb my location," I ordered while looking at Avonlea's picture, but I saw the bomb blinking underneath the debris. That's the friend who wants to get out of already, the only way for it to come out is to explode it.
"C-Captain, the help is on your way. We can't do that!"
"Just bomb my location, I'm fine...it's peaceful here and besides they are surrounding me already. I can't let them fill my body with bullets, there's a bomb here and you have to send the message."
Hindi ako makakabalik, pasensya.
"J-Just bomb my location...I'm okay." matipid kong sabi at mas lalong hinigpitan ang hawak sa larawan ni Avonlea. Hindi ko na maiwasan ang maluha nalang na may ngiti sa aking labi, sayang at hindi man lang kita makikita.
"Captain,"
"Humanda ka na! Tapos na ang maliligayang araw mo!"
"Bomb my location, this is my order. Are you disobeying the Captain's order?"
Narinig ko ang marahan niyang pag-singhap pero nakita ko na ang mga anino ng mga terorista na ibig sabihin lang ay palapit na sila sa akin. Nag-pakawala ako ng isang malalim na hininga dahil haharapin ko na sila.
"Sir, C-Captain's order."
"Isang bala palang ang tumama ay natumba ka na kaagad." nakapasok na ang mga terorista at naka-ngisi sila sa akin na balak na akong patayin pero hindi ako papayag na sila ang papatay sa akin.
Pare-pareho tayong mamamatay dito, hindi ako papayag.
Lumuhod ang isang lalaki na may ngisi sa labi at kaagad kong tinago ang litrato ni Avonlea sa bulsa ko.
"Paano ba 'yan? Isa ka lang, anim kami." naka-ngisi nitong sabi na dahilan para mahina akong matawa. Naagaw ko ang atensyon niya at mukhang nainis siya dahil nakuha ko pang matawa sa lagay na ito.
"Tss, hindi lang ako mag-isa."
"Anong ibig mong sabihin--"
"Do it, this is Captain's last order."
Tinapat ko ang radio sa bibig ko at sinabi ang huli kong utos.
"Please say to Avonlea that I love her. This is the Captain's last order, now..."
"Bomb my location."
The most painful goodbye is not to see the person you loved until your last day on Earth.
If the heavens decided to take me away,
I just want you to know that it's still her until my last breath, Avonlea.
This is Captain Gustavo Archielle Salvatierra, already at ease.
A Hero of War 2020
Captain Gustavo Archielle Salvatierra
Beloved son, A Fallen Soldier
August 25, 1988 - September 28, 2020