Robbie
The Last Gig Of Tour
I still can't believe it. I'm sitting in the waiting room of the O2 arena. I think I'm more awe struck by this than when I was waiting in the room at Madison Square Garden. I'm a lot more 'tingly' than normal, if that makes sense. It's not the tingle of nerves though. It's excitement. I'm positively electrified and every second that goes by brings me closer and closer to the end of my tour, and I'm starting to feel a little upset by that. I don't want to leave the stage after the final song. I want to stay on forever.
As much as I'd like that, I have good incentive to leave that stage. That incentive is being able to see my family again for the first time in months, and my gran as well. And of course, getting to see Noah tomorrow and having him alongside me makes me feel a lot better about the prospect of spending a week with the side of the family who unashamedly hate my guts.
My dad text me about half an hour ago saying that him and the rest of my family had arrived at the venue, and wished me good luck. That's yet another thing which makes all of this feel even more surreal. My family are in the same building as me for the first time in seven months. I wonder if I'll be able to catch a glimpse of them in their barrier position when I'm going up on stage. Then again, maybe I shouldn't try look for them, and try to focus on 'being professional'. God, my mind is whirring all over the place and I'm kinda overwhelmed.
I notice Quinn has got up from where he was sitting opposite me, and has started getting his camera ready again. And that's when a welcome distraction, which is yet another thing adding to the whole surreal feelings I've had about tonight, walks in through the door to the waiting room. Finn Wolfhard and his band stand in the doorway, and I get up from the sofa to greet them. Finn opens his arms and I end up in a group hug with him and his band. Damn, Finn gives quite good hugs. I'm kinda jealous that Noah gets the opportunity to hug him every day they're together shooting Stranger Things.
I hear the shutter of Quinn's camera go off a couple of times, before I pull out of the hug and stand a bit awkwardly in front of these other talented musicians. Finn had got in touch a short while after Noah had said he would, and we agreed that the best show the band could open for would be my last gig of the tour. What's probably even more exciting is the fact that I'm going to be helping write some songs for their new album, after I've had some time off to myself of course. It's still unbelievable that through Noah I've now met Finn, and there's plenty of girls I know who would be very jealous about that. He's cute, but he's got nothing on Noah. Finn beams at me, and I shuffle a little nervously but manage to flash a small smile back at him.
'Thanks again for letting us play your last show dude.'
'It's no problem at all man. I'm honestly more pleased about the fact you even wanted to open for one of my shows.'
'Of course we'd want to open for one of your shows! It's hard to find proper talented musicians nowadays, and even rarer to find ones who just aren't... I don't really know how to phrase it--'
'Dickheads?'
We all share a grin, and Quinn captures the moment on camera. Finn chuckles.
'Yeah. Dickheads. I mean, if you ever want to open for one of our shows, just hit me up. We're gonna be playing some gigs soon.'
I grin weakly, plunging my hands into the pockets of my black jeans.
'I'd love to. Maybe after I've had a bit of a break though. It's been nonstop for ages, and I kinda want a chance to just enjoy being home.'
Finn nods, placing a hand on my shoulder reassuringly.
'Yeah, I get that. Well don't worry, the gigs aren't until Fall so there's a good couple months to rest. But we can always let you know closer to the time.'
'Thanks guys.'
We're interrupted by one of the runners coming in and announcing that they're ready for Finn's band on the stage. We all join together for another hug and as we pull out of it I can't get rid of the huge grin that's stretched across my face. Finn joins his bandmates as they head towards the door which leads out to the stage, when he pauses and turns back to look at me, grinning.
'Good luck dude.'
'Thanks Finn, you too. They're gonna love you guys.'
'I hope so. Oh, and by the way--'
He flashes me a sort of knowing grin, and I'm suddenly very self aware.
'I like your shirt. I think Noah's got one like it?'
I don't need a mirror to tell that my face has exploded into a deep shade of crimson. Of course Finn would notice and say something about what I'm wearing. I've got Noah's shirt on cause I felt it would be like having him there with me, seeing as he's not here for my last show. And because I'm missing him a lot more than normal.
I can guarantee that Finn has noticed how red I've turned, and will probably end up messaging Noah, Millie or even everyone else in the cast to tell them how he made me blush at the slight mention of wearing something of Noah's.
'Um-- Thanks! I think Noah said... that he had the same brand.'
I force myself to smile through the cringing embarrassment I can feel radiating out of my body, and pray that Finn isn't gonna think I'm weird. He didn't specifically say that it was Noah's shirt. He definitely doesn't think that. Caught up in my own little gay panic, I don't register that Finn's left the room to join his band until Quinn suddenly materialises in front of me, making me jump. He laughs at my reaction, having caught it all on camera as well. Great. That's gonna be in the compilation of me doing stupid stuff during the tour.
'Are you alright? Watching you talk to Finn back there, you went all weird when he mentioned Noah's shirt--'
'So? It wasn't weird. Right?'
He fixes me with a cheeky grin, and my heart sinks.
'Right?'
'Whatever you say dude. But look. Robbie, we've known each other a long time. And just like how you said you knew that I liked Nate, I can't help but think the same thing about you and Noah.'
I freeze. I don't really know what to say, cause of course Quinn was going to pick up on it sooner or later. It's not like I've been that subtle whenever Noah's mentioned around me, but I can't exactly help it. Quinn's gotten closer to me, and I'm starting to panic a little but I'm stuck in place. And then he wraps me in a hug, completely mystifying me even more.
'I know that you're probably still trying to make sense of things, but I want you to know that I'm here for you, like you were for me when I was figuring things out. You're my best friend, and nothing's ever gonna change that. Seeing you more happy and relaxed than I've seen in years after you'd spent time with Noah or were talking to him has made me so happy. So look--'
He pulls out of the hug, holding me at arms length, his hands wrapped with that comforting warmth around my arms. I'm aware that my breathing's become a bit more rapid, and that I'm probably gonna start crying in a bit. But I'm sure Quinn's aware of that too as he beams at me.
'Don't be afraid about being yourself, and putting everyone else before you. You've done that for most of your life, but it's time for you to choose something that makes you happy. And I'll be here through it all. Okay?'
I sniffle a bit, as I manage a weak nod. Quinn pulls me back into a hug where we just hold each other in silence. Quinn's right, of course. I have a feeling he already knows, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to tell him right at this very moment. I want to leave everything out on the stage tonight, and when I come off it and backstage after, I'll be able to tell him.
'Thanks so much Quinn. I'm so lucky to have you as a friend.'
'I know you are.'
We both share a muted laugh with each other as I practically collapse out of his embrace. Quinn looks off out of the door after the band, and realisation dawns on his face.
'Oh shit. I should probably be out there.'
I just nod as Quinn dashes off out of the room towards the stage, and packed out arena. I sit back down on the sofa, the thoughts in my head rushing a little less now. I spot Connor out the corner of my eye, carrying a pack of spare strings for the guitars, which he may end up having to use tonight. We lock eyes, and that singular point of clarity enters my head.
'Hey Connor. Can you add Photograph to the set list tonight?'
He grins.
'Already done. We kinda guessed you'd want to play it.'
'Awesome.'
Noah
Okay, this is pretty cool. Amazing, actually. When Robbie's dad had said that they'd already got tickets, I assumed that we'd be up in the seated wings around the top of the arena. But we're right at the barrier, slightly off to the far left, and we have a perfect view of the steps leading up to the stage, as well as the stage itself. We can even see all the stage hands and equipment being moved around, and it's like a whole different world standing here compared to anywhere else in the arena.
I'm quite nervous about being close to the thick of the crowd near the barrier, seeing as all it would take is one person recognising me and there could be a stampede, but I needn't have worried. Most of the people here are more focused on trying to get closest to the stage and Robbie. If only they knew that his family were right next to them, as well as his boyfriend.
I look back across the rows of fans all clustered together near the barrier, and back towards Robbie's family, and his younger sister whose standing next to me. She flashes a grin at me, and I can't help but smile back. She wasn't as bad as her dad said she was gonna be around me. I did promise that we could take a bunch of photos together when we were in Greece, which may have stopped her from bombarding me with questions straight away.
I look away from her briefly as she pulls up her phone to take pictures which I can see going up on her Instagram story already, and my focus falls on Robbie's gran, and I can't stop smiling. Seeing her right next to the barrier, wearing one of the orange backstage wristbands which we all have on our wrists, you could've never guessed that she'd had a stroke a few weeks ago.
It felt really weird meeting Robbie's gran before Robbie did, especially after the scare with the stroke. But she's a genuinely amazing person, and funny too -- her wit could probably make short work of whichever people try to talk down to her because of her age. She asked me about what I did for a living as we all sat down with a cup of tea in the living room (which is the most British thing I've ever done, so Robbie's gonna pay for that), and talking to her and the family about Robbie was lovely. I was getting to know more about him from the people who probably knew him best, and I honestly found myself falling more and more in love with him as the conversation went on.
His gran was also thrilled to hear that I'm an actor, and she had told me more about how Robbie had pursued acting when he was younger, before he'd picked up a guitar and fallen in love with music. I couldn't help but think about if Robbie had become an actor instead of a musician. Would we have ever met? There was plenty of laughs too, like when his Mom and Dad told me about the little 'gigs' Robbie would give them in their living room when he was learning to play guitar and sing, and how he'd make sure they were all paying attention before he started.
I always figured that I'd be the awkward, nervous wreck when meeting my partner's family. Which is surprising cause I've obviously got that reputation as an extroverted and confident person, but there's just something about meeting the parents that screams 'This is a big deal!!' that I've never been able to get over.
But that's the funny thing about anything related to Robbie -- it always make me feel more at ease, able to act like myself, and his family are no exception. Now I'm standing alongside them at their son's final concert, who they haven't seen in months. And it felt like as soon as I stepped through the door into their house, I was part of their family.
My attention is drawn to the stage hands working on the darkened stage, bringing on equipment and instruments for whichever band is opening for Robbie. We watch as a drum set is brought onto the stage, and we're close enough to get a glimpse of the logo on the front of the set. It seems kinda familiar, but I guessed that there'd always be the chance that I knew whoever the opening band was. Becca's also looking at this drum set as it's placed on the stage, and I see a flash of recognition shoot across her face, as she turns to look at me with an excited grin on her face.
'Isn't that band's name the same as Finn Wolfhard's band?'
I raise my eyebrow as I look at the drum set again, trying to figure out the writing on the logo. But then it hits. Becca's right. No wonder I thought I'd recognised the name of the band. I'd completely forgot that Finn had asked if he could chat with Robbie about playing at one of his shows. I guess Robbie's answer was yes.
'It looks like it.'
'This is so cool! Are the rest of the cast here too? How many of you are hiding here?'
I can't help but grin at Becca's excitement, as Robbie's parents and Gran all share a laugh with each other too.
'Alright Becca, try give Noah a bit of breathing space please.'
'Oh right... I'm sorry Noah--'
'It's cool Becca, don't worry. It's nice seeing you getting excited. But I don't think that any of my cast mates are going to be here tonight. It would be funny though.'
Becca beams another bright smile at me, before her attention turns to the steps by the stage as is everyone else's in the arena by the group of people who've just come on stage -- and the screams begin straight away as soon as they recognise Finn. I flinch a little bit as they grow in volume around me, and I honestly feel bad for Finn as he's nearly always targeted by frenzied fan girls.
I guess Becca's noticed me flinch a bit, and her small hand finds itself in mine and she squeezes it reassuringly and beams another one of her trademark grins at me. I feel a little better after that, and her hand leaves mine as they instead go onto her phone, filming the beginning of the song Finn's band has started playing. I'll admit, I didn't see this coming. I haven't watched Finn's band live in a long time, and what better place to see them than here. At least the fans screams have died down a bit. I look over at Robbie's parents, both nodding their heads in time to the music, and I spot his Gran watching the band on stage with genuine interest. I feel that same tingle go down the back of my spine. I can't wait to see Robbie on stage again.
Robbie
I'm gonna assume that all the screams I heard echoing into the waiting room meant that Finn and his band had made it up on stage. I'm a little glad knowing that they probably won't be as loud with me as they were with Finn -- not that I don't blame them, cause I know he has that effect on his fans.
As I've been sat here I've been scrawling things down in this little beat up notebook I've had for lord knows how many years. It was one of the spare notebooks I had lying around that I'd randomly chosen to use as the main place to jot down all my ideas for songs. And although I haven't done much writing tonight because I'm so excited I can't really focus, it's been a good refresher looking through some of the lyrics I've noted down over the last few weeks. I feel like this second album is gonna be the one which defines my career, and I know it needs to be amazing because I don't want to end my career early cause I fucked up.
I close the notebook and look up at my surroundings, spotting Cade for really the first time since we drove here in the same car. It's a little weird, I'm seeing less of them than normal before a gig. I'm guessing that they're probably just as nervous or excited as I am, and they're trying to get some favourable press for the last show as well. They spot me staring at them, and flash me this small, almost knowing grin. I flip them off and they dash out of the room to wherever they keep on disappearing to. I swear, if they're planning an end of tour prank then I'll never forgive them -- for a little while anyway.
I sit in silence for the next ten minutes, hearing muffled parts of the band's set wafting in to the backstage room. Their music is really good, and I know that I'd love to collaborate with them when I actually have the time to. Connor steps in briefly to hand me my earpiece, and as I hold it in my hand I realise that this is it. This is the last time I'm gonna be putting this in my ear for a while; the last time I'm going to be waiting backstage in months, and the last time that I have to clip the battery pack to the back of my jeans.
Connor smiles warmly at me, rubbing the top of my head and not really affecting the mess my hair's in already, before stepping back out of the room towards the stage. I hear the last chords of the band's final song being played out to the packed arena, and for some reason I feel compelled to pull out my phone. I open up the camera and turn it on selfie mode and snap a picture of myself wearing Noah's shirt, and send it to Noah.
Robbie: just wanted you to know before i get ready to go on that I thought it'd be cool to wear this shirt tonight seeing as you aren't here. i hope that i do you proud. love you x
It's cheesy as hell but I don't care. Watching the picture and accompanying text send makes me realise that I'm close to crying. I can hear the cheers from the crowd, and I know that Finn's band will be back in this room any second, along with Quinn, and I need to get a grip. I mean everything I sent in the text though.
Noah
Finn's band were even better than I remembered from the last time I saw them. They've done an amazing job warming up the crowd, and I can practically feel the buzz passing through and around everyone here. As they head off stage, you can feel the excitement building up -- everyone's ready and waiting for Robbie. Becca pushes a little closer to her part of the barrier and frantically waves, trying to get Finn's attention as they head off down the stairs off stage. But my attention shifts as I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, even over the now receding noise of the fans as we begin waiting again.
I keep my phone down low, trying not to let Robbie's family see whatever he's sent. I think the worst place to accidentally out him and myself right now would be at his final gig. I open the text, and a dopey smile breaks out over my face. I'm also getting a little teary eyed too, as I look at the selfie he's sent, looking at the cute small smile on his face, and seeing him in my shirt drives it home a little further. This definitely confirms though that he has no idea that I'm here. I almost want to scream it out for him right now that I'm here, and we can hold each other again. But I know that it'll be a lot more special if I wait just a little bit longer. I type out a brief response so that no one can really see who I'm texting, before I pocket my phone.
Noah: you know i'm always proud of you no matter what. you're gonna kill it tonight x
I look back up and see the eyes of Robbie's parents focused on me. They both flash a grin at me, which I return with my own sort of half hearted attempt. His dad leans in towards me.
'I'm gonna assume you were just texting Robbie?'
I nod, bringing the selfie Robbie took up and turning my phone to face his dad.
'Guess we know what he's wearing tonight.'
He breaks out into a grin as he shows my phone to Robbie's Mom and Gran before handing it back to me.
'I hope he's doing alright. It must mean a lot for him to text you right before he goes on stage.'
I can't help but grin a little bit.
'Yeah -- It really does.'
He pats me on the back, before turning his attention back to his wife. I look back towards the stage, and recognise the tech guy from the times I've seen him backstage as he carries the loop station up onto the stage and starts plugging cables into it. My sight shifts away from the stage and to my left, where my eyes meet Robbie's Gran's as she looks over my way too. She gives me this sort of knowing smile, and gives me a cheeky wink. She might've figured us out already, but after spending so much time talking with her today I know that she would be thrilled to hear that I'm dating her grandson.
I force myself to look back at the stage, trying to find something stationary on there to focus on. I'm starting to shake with a mixture of excitement and nerves. Why can't Robbie just hurry up and get out here already.
Robbie
We've shared another couple of group hugs with the now sweat covered band members, and I've also posed for pictures with them all together, as well as for individual photos with each member. Finn's the last one to pose with me, and we share a long hug afterwards. As we pull out of it, he looks down on me with a sparkle in his eyes.
'Thanks so much for this opportunity Robbie. It's been great.'
'You're welcome man, I'm glad you were able to come.'
'It's been our pleasure. I guess Noah was right about you. I'm really glad we got to meet, and I can tell that Noah was really pleased to have met you too.'
'Thanks dude. I've loved meeting you too. I'll let you know how my schedule's looking soon so we can hang and make some great music.'
Finn grins and nods, before pulling me into another hug. He soon rejoins his bandmates, and they all start heading out to the exits which will take them to the special barrier area for performers, similar and close to where my family will be standing. I really appreciate them sticking around to watch my gig. It's little things like that which just solidify the fact that they're gonna be great artists to work with.
Cade and Quinn both appear at the same time as I start heading towards the backstage area and the steps that'll take me up to the stage. Cade gives me a small thumbs up, and pats me on the back, before heading off towards the area near the barrier which I'm gonna assume where my parents are. I can't properly see that part of the crowd, but I'm not sure if I'd want to even look over there anyway, in case my emotions got the better of me and I had a break down mid song.
Quinn and I head towards the stage, and I stop just short of the steps as Connor appears holding 'Noah'. I slip the guitar on, and the familiar rush of adrenaline comes with it. This is it. Quinn looks over at me, and I hold out my fist expectantly for the traditional fist bump, which he gives me, but he then catches me off guard as he envelops me in a hug.
'Good luck dude. I'm so proud of you. Just have a fun time out there, alright?'
I nod shakily, knowing that if I try to give him a verbal response my voice is going to break as I feel my bottom lip starting to quiver. We part from the hug, and Quinn dashes off to his start point for the set. Suddenly, I'm standing alone, in front of the steps that'll take me up to my last ever gig, for an album I never thought I'd get to make, playing a venue I only ever dreamed of. I attempt to compose myself, breathing in and out slowly. I'm gonna do what I always do. Have fun doing what I love.
I lift my foot up, and make contact with the first step on the stairs. Seven months of hard work has been building up to this.
Noah
It's been a little over ten minutes since Finn's band left the stage, and you can just feel the excitement starting to build up into fever pitch. Come on. Robbie's got to be coming on soon, right?
There's a brief flurry of movement near the barrier, and I spot in the low lighting the familiar outline of Quinn dashing around the front of the stage, near to where we're stood, and my pulse starts racing. If the photographer is here then that must mean --
The roar that comes from inside the arena is deafening as Robbie's beaming face appears at the top of the stairs, and the fans around me collectively lose their shit. I can't help but start cheering loudly as well, and I see Robbie's dad placing his fingers in his mouth to give off a loud whistle as his son makes his way across the stage, towards the mics.
Seeing my shirt illuminated under the stage lights is already making me emotional, but I really don't care. He plugs in the guitar, stepping back and testing out the instantly recognisable chords of the opening song of his set, and as he steps back towards the mic, I see that grin and twinkle in his eyes. He's loving this, and I'm loving it as well.
He takes a breath, and the last gig of his tour kicks off. After finishing the first chorus he's already looping a beat which everyone starts clapping out, me included. He's exploded onto stage with even more energy than I've seen him with before, and it's affecting everyone here positively. I'm losing myself in the song again, and I don't even realise how far into it he's got till he starts looping his vocals, and more cheers erupt from the fans around me. I look up at him as he sways back and forth on the spot; eyes closed as he's taken by the music, hitting his guitar harder and faster with each loop he adds, and my heart swells. I'm so lucky to be with this boy.
The screams and cheers only get louder when he finishes the song, and Robbie picks up one of the bottles of water nearby, gulping down nearly half of the bottle in one go, before looking out at us with a beaming smile.
'O2, how you doing tonight?'
Cheers and screams answer his question, as Robbie takes his mic out of its holster on the stand and takes a couple of steps forward, towards the barrier.
'Alright London, I've been looking forward to this for as long as I can remember. And obviously, this is the last show of the tour--'
Another mixture of 'Awws' and Cheers cut him out, and I can't help but grin stupidly as I see the shy grin etched across his face as he waits for the excited fans to calm down a little.
'-- And that couldn't have been made possible without all of you, so thank you from the bottom of my heart. But for tonight, I'm gonna need all of you to give one hundred percent. It's the last night, so I'm gonna go extra hard, you're gonna go extra hard, are you with me?'
Another chorus of cheers and clapping echo around the arena, and his dad whistles very loudly again as I add my own voice to the cheers hanging in the air. Robbie looks back out to the crowd with a small grin.
'That's what I like to hear.'
He's stepped back to where his mic stands and loop station are, placing the mic back in its position, and I see him tapping at the looper with one of his feet.
'Alright, let's see how this goes.'
He starts playing out the instantly recognisable riff to one of his fast paced songs, and I think I've surprised Becca by cheering just as loud as her when we both realised which song it is. As Robbie builds up the beat, I can already tell that tonight is going to be incredible. I pull out my phone and start snapping some photos which turn out in great quality cause of how close we are to him. I'll have to show him them later, and I can't wait for that moment where I'll get to hold him again.
I can definitely say that I'm not gonna have my voice tomorrow morning. The majority of Robbie's set has flown by; and I've been singing, dancing, screaming, you name it, I've done it, much to the amusement of Robbie's family. Becca's been joining in with me though, and we took a few videos together which I'm sure she's posting on her Instagram story but I don't blame here for doing that cause I'm doing the same. I can't help but grin at the thought of how many of her friends tomorrow are going to be interrogating her about meeting me.
Even if we weren't standing that close to the stage, you'd be able to see how much Robbie was coated in sweat. He'd really been giving it more than his all tonight, and there were moments in some of the slower songs where I'd stare at him as his eyes darted, looking around the packed out venue, and I was hoping we'd make eye contact but we never did. It's strange how I feel so much closer to him every time I hear his music.
Robbie's switched guitars back to his 'Noah' one, and once again I can't stop grinning. Seeing my name on there fills me with joy. He grins at us as he takes another gulp from his water bottle, which makes a few of the fans scream again. One of the fans near the centre of the barrier screams out something which I don't understand, but then I watch as a furled up progress pride flag get flung towards the stage.
It lands near the front of the stage and Robbie beams, dropping his water bottle and shouldering his guitar as he steps towards the fans who continue to scream, and he picks up the flag and returns back to his microphones, wrapping the flag around one of the mic stands, which only prompts more cheers from the crowd.
He looks out at them after fiddling with the flag for a bit, and grins.
'Thanks for that.'
Some more cheers erupt, and the voice of a teenage girl rises above the din.
'I LOVE YOU!!'
Robbie stifles a nervous laugh, looking down to his feet, slightly embarrassed and I personally find it absolutely adorable. It's the same sort of reaction he gives me whenever I compliment him.
'I love you too.' He responds into his mic, prompting screams that could definitely break the sound barrier to come from the section of the crowd where the original shout and flag came from. It feels weird hearing him say that to a random stranger, but that's why I admire him so much. He genuinely cares about his fans, and I feel a bit special knowing that I've heard him say 'I Love You' to me personally, so I can understand the excitement from the fans.
Robbie plucks at a couple of the strings on his guitar as he waits for the screams to calm down, before wiping his hand across his sweat covered forehead.
'Alright. So this next song isn't on the setlist, but I haven't played it for a while now and I really feel like playing it tonight. If you know the words, then please scream them out. This is the song where we start to lose our voices.'
The crowd seems to like that idea, and I find myself cheering louder as well, even though my voice is starting to crack now. He just has this effect on people, and I'm so glad that I can call him my boyfriend. I can't help but wonder what song it is though. I know that he seems to have stopped playing 'Photograph' all together, but I understand if he'd want to stop as it one of his favourite songs, and probably reminds him of me --
Robbie's started beating out the backing beat on his guitar and everything seems to slow down. I can't help but stare as goosebumps start prickling at the back of my neck, and down my arms. I'd recognise the starting beat to this song anywhere. He's wearing my shirt, and playing our song. He's playing Photograph. He's playing our song. In his last gig.
I'm suddenly hit with a whole bunch of emotions at once. I wasn't expecting this, and it's caught me off guard, in the best possible way. Becca's looking at me with bemusement, and I can assume that my face is just as shell shocked as I feel on the inside. I take a ragged breath, and that's when I'm aware that I'm already struggling to hold back the tears. But I can see that he's also struggling to hold back the tears as well, even as he moves about the stage with his guitar. I can't tear my eyes away from his figure up on stage as he plays out the opening chords and screams echo around the arena as everyone recognises the song.
'Loving can hurt--'
My voice has joined the screams that fill the air when he says the opening line of the song. I'm swaying along as he plays through the verse, as is nearly everyone else around us, but I really don't care what people think of me. I know that he's doing this for me, and as he hits the chorus he's already hitting higher notes and I can feel the strength and pain behind them. He's launched into the second verse already and I wish that I can go back and keep on living this out forever. His voice starts to tremble a little, but it manages to get even more powerful as he builds up through the chorus, which is where my tears properly start falling.
I manage to look across to my left and I spot his Gran and parents holding each other in a hug, with these proud smiles on their faces as they look up towards their son. I can see some tears falling from some of their eyes too, as my attention is then dragged back to Robbie as he gets right to the point where he starts looping his vocals. And then the tears start flowing even more.
I can make out through my tears as Robbie adds a beat with the high falsettos he's already added, that his face is turning red from the exertion, along with the tears that are streaming heavily down his cheeks. As he hits that final high note and all his vocals wash over everyone in the arena, I completely lose my cool. I'm blubbering, shaking, at the sheer emotion that he's poured into this performance, and his dad has wrapped an arm around me and pulled me into the hug with his Gran and Mom as we all cry and cheer out as Robbie nears finishing the song.
As he cuts out everything and softly finishes off the song, he looks our way and I know there's no way at all that he could see me through all the lights, but that's enough for me. I feel like we locked eyes, and I hope that he knows just how happy he's made me by playing this song. I manage to disentangle myself from the hug with his family, and I share a shy smile with them. I know they won't think about how I've reacted to the song in a weird way -- if anything it's shown them how much Robbie means to me, so it was actually really sweet of them to pull me into their hug.
I take my position near the barrier again as the cheers still refuse to die down as Robbie breathlessly smiles at the assembled crowd, and once again my heart swells with pride for him. Becca nudges me in the side, and I look over to her beaming face. She holds up her phone, and shows a short video she'd filmed from the song, where you can see me crying along with Robbie's parents and Gran. But you can tell those are tears of happiness. And I find that really kinda cool.
'Do you want me to send it to you?'
I only just manage to nod, still getting over the shock of the last song, and she grins back at me, busying herself on her phone. Robbie's retuning the guitar and looks out at us all as he does so.
'Thank you! Sorry for getting a little emotional there, but I've, uh-- wanted to play that song for ages now. So thank you again.'
Even though all the screams hit a higher volume around me, I'm zoning out. Because I've just had the realisation about just how much I love this boy. And I really just want to hold him now, especially after such an emotional performance. I watch as he swaps guitars and leans in to hear something that the guitar tech whispers to him, and they both share a small smile and laugh. Robbie steps back up to the main mic, giving his guitar a couple of test strums.
'Alright! If you haven't lost you voice by now, then we've got another chance with this song. Let's give it a try.'
Robbie
I'm nearing the end of my final song but I don't want to leave the stage. I'm hoping that something will allow me to stay on longer, but I've already played a longer encore than I've ever played before. Honestly I'm still shaking a little bit after playing Photograph, but you couldn't tell now. I'm perched near the front of the stage, and I can make out a few of the people on the barrier in front of me, screaming and waving for my attention.
I wave the pride flag that I've got clutched in my left hand around my head, and the crowd are going crazy as I enter the last part of the rap in this song. When I finish, I stand breathlessly, feeling each bead of sweat trail down my face as the ceiling of the arena nearly gets blown off with all the noise. It continues for ages, as I give a small, shy grin out and give them an appreciative nod, which only makes their cheers increase.
I look off over to the part of the barrier where Cade said my family would be, and I can't see them through the lights and other people around, but I can tell that they're there, and I feel my chest fill with happiness. I lift my mic back up to my mouth, trying to control my ecstatic breathing.
'London. Thank you so much for being an amazing end to this tour. Thank you for giving my music a chance, your support means the world to me. I'll see you in a couple years, get home safe!'
I head off towards the stage exit, the cheers and whistles following me as I take the steps down to the side of the stage, where Connor and some of the stage crew are waiting, and I can't help but grin. They've all formed a guard of honour for me, and if my cheeks weren't already flushed from running around on stage, they'd be going bright red at this gesture. I high five and grin at everyone as I walk past, and finally make it into the dressing room, where Cade is waiting with the rest of the crew, and to my surprise, Finn's band.
Before I can say anything, Quinn's burst in and starts snapping photos of me in the doorway, which makes me burst out laughing. Everyone joins in, and a loud 'Congratulations!!' choruses around the room as Quinn finally puts down his camera and wraps me in a hug, before I get floored by Finn and his bandmates joining the hug.
I manage to disentangle myself from the multiple limbs and clamber back up from the floor with a huge grin on my face. Seeing everyone together like this, and all to support me is really hard to describe. All I know is that I'm probably the happiest I've been in a while, even if Noah isn't here, and I just know that I'm gonna remember this moment for a long time --
'ROBBIE!!'
I turn at the sound of Becca's instantly recognisable voice, as she flings herself at me and we hold each other tightly.
'You were amazing!!'
I squeeze her tightly in the hug, this being the first time she's hugged me in months.
'Thank you so much for coming Becca. I'm glad you enjoyed it.'
We break out of the hug and she flashes a huge grin at me, which I also do to her, before I look up from her and I see my parents with my Gran, standing and watching Becca and I's reunion. I take one look at them, spotting their beaming smiles that just radiate how proud they are without even having to say anything, and I fling myself into my Gran's arms, and I can't stop the tears from flowing now.
Everyone in the room shares a small chuckle, but I don't care. I hold onto my gran tightly, and I feel my parents bodies join the hug too. I try to put all the manic thoughts that are running through my head out of my mouth.
'You're-- You're alright. Are-- are you alright? Was it safe for you to travel so soon--'
My gran squeezes me back in the hug, and I choke a bit on the tears streaming down my face.
'I've missed you Robbie.'
'I've missed you loads too. I-- I love you.'
She looks up at me from inside the hug and gives me a knowing wink.
'I love you too.'
Dad's arms properly wrap around me now, and I honestly don't know how I haven't passed out from the excitement.
'Well done kidda.'
'We're so very proud of you.'
I manage to stutter out the simple thing I've waited to say in person for ages.
'I love you. I've missed you all. So, so much.'
My dad and mum pull out of the hug, although my dad's hand remains on my shoulder as they both beam down at me brightly.
'We've missed you too. Even Becca, although she won't admit it.'
I smile, and run my hand through my slightly drenched hair.
'Thanks so much for coming. I hope it wasn't too unbearable.'
'Well... it wasn't as terrible as other musicians nowadays...'
Everyone shares a laugh at my gran's comment, and I look at all the beaming faces surrounding me, and I know how lucky I am to be here with this kind of support. Celebratory glasses of champagne are being handed out amongst the group, as Cade flings a towel over to me so I can wipe off the worst of the sweat around my face.
I take off my glasses and plunge my face into the fresh towel, enjoying the brief bit of relief it offers from the patches of sweat stuck to my forehead. I remove the towel from my face, replacing my glasses in their spot, and wrap the towel around my neck and shoulders. As Cade starts doing a short speech, I grasp my Gran's hand and whisper softly in her ear.
'Thank you so much for coming Grandma. It's amazing to see you, especially after your stroke. This really means a lot to me.'
'Of course Robert. I'm not going to miss my grandson's big gig! And I know there's someone who wanted to be here even more than me, and how much it meant to them to be here tonight.'
I look over at her in confusion.
'But everyone's here tonight? I don't get--'
My Gran gives me her trademarked knowing smile, and she gestures off to her right, and that's when my attention is drawn to the door through which my family came from. There's some staff standing in front of the doorway, holding their glasses up as Cade finishes their toast. A cheer goes around the room, and the staff in front of the door move to embrace each other in a hug, revealing the doorway behind them, and that's when this would be the part in a movie where time slows and the crappy love music starts playing. Because standing rather nervously in the doorway, eyes scanning the room for me, is Noah. And he looks as perfect as ever.
We both lock eyes at the same time, and it's like the entire world around us skips for just a second. I don't think my body is even responding to my brain, and I can see that it's the same for Noah, until we both seem to reconnect to reality at once.
'ROBBIE!!'
A choked 'No--NOAH?!' manages to escape my throat that's suddenly decided to close up from all my crying.
He's already running towards me, and I wonder how he's getting closer till I realise that my tired legs have somehow started moving me towards him as well. Like holy shit, this is so cheesy but I really don't care anymore, as we close the distance that's been reduced from thousands of miles to only a couple of metres.
Now would be the worst time for me to mess up in my typical way, like I could trip over and bring Noah down with me, but my brain doesn't get another chance to come up with some lucrative thing which could go wrong, as I find myself wrapped up in Noah's arms for the first time in what feels like forever.
We don't say anything else, cause there's no need to when we're holding each other so tightly as if we're scared that letting go would mean we'd lose each other again. I can feel a wet patch starting to develop on my shoulder from where Noah's buried his face into me, and my own waterworks are back in full flow, probably ruining the front of his light blue hoodie which he knows I love, but I also know he won't care. I also really don't care that we're showing this much affection in a room full of people. I hear some amused laughter and collective 'Awws' doing the rounds, but all I can focus on is the sound of my own frantically beating heart, and Noah's body close to mine.
We sway from side to side, neither of us ready to let go yet. We keep on squeezing the life out of each other, but it feels amazing to be holding him again and pulling him closer in the hug is only solidifying the mind blowing fact that he's here. My boyfriend is here.
'Th-- Thank you. For playing Photograph again. It was stunning.' He manages to utter in a choked whisper in my ear, and my whole heart explodes with joy. I'm so glad that I chose to play it now, seeing as Noah was here.
We finally pull out of the tight embrace, but stay close, holding each other's arms. I would've chosen to hold his hands but I think he knows as well as I do that it would look a bit suspicious in front of all these people we aren't out to. My head tilts up slightly and is greeted with the view I've waited ages for -- Noah's beaming, tear stained face looking at mine. I open my mouth, barely managing to find my voice again.
'You-- You're here?!'
The grin on his face is almost as wide as mine, and I tremble slightly in his grasp.
'Of course. I wanted to surprise you, and there was no way I was gonna miss the end of your tour.'
I fling myself against his chest into another hug, and he wraps his arms around me again.
'You... You didn't have to--'
Noah's gently pulled me out of the hug, and puts his hands on my shoulders, staring earnestly into my eyes.
'I wanted to. And I'm so, so happy that I did. You were amazing.'
I feel my flushed cheeks heat up more, but this time it's not from crying. God, even when we're both sobbing wrecks, he's just as adorable and still complimenting me. I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand, and give him a grin.
'Well, I guess this solves the problem of how we're gonna meet up in Greece.'
My parents laugh at my joke, as does Noah, and we both join the circle of people all responsible for me being here tonight. Two spare glasses of champagne are passed around to Noah and I, and I flash a cheeky grin at him as he checks the contents of his glass. Cade looks around the room, a small grin on their face.
'Well, now that I'm sure no more surprise guests are going to be popping in, I guess it's time to officially say our congratulations. Cheers to the tour!'
A collective 'Cheers!' goes round the room, followed by glasses all clinking with each other. Noah and mine make contact, and he leans in slightly towards me to whisper something in my ear.
'You look really cute in my shirt by the way.'
I'm sure that I've gone a deeper shade of crimson than I've ever gone in front of this many people, and I give him a playful shove to his side, which makes him recoil slightly with a huge grin on his face.
'Robbie, do you want to say a few words?'
I'm distracted from Noah's teasing by Cade's question, and I struggle to act casual as all eyes land on me. I gulp, giving a nervous grin to Cade, before looking out at the expectant, beaming faces of my family, friends and crew. I raise my glass shakily, at least thankful that Noah is staying out of trouble for the moment alongside me.
'A few words.'
A groan comes from everyone in the room, Noah rolls his eyes at me and I can't help but laugh. Hey, I'm a funny guy. Sometimes.
I gulp, trying to think of how exactly I can put into words what this moment means to me -- how much what each person in this room has done to help me. I stare down at the floor briefly, before looking up and scanning the room with my eyes.
'Well... Uh-- I don't think I can really put into words how much it's meant to have your support. From everyone in here. And I mean it. Cade, fighting to get me the recognition they always believed I deserved, even if we all have to drag them away from every espresso maker nearby --'
Small laughs echo in the room, and I watch as the smiles grow on everyone's faces, including Cade's, despite how hard they're trying to avoid showing it.
'--And Quinn taking God knows how many photos over the last seven months, whose probably become the fittest he's been in years after running around following me on stage, and made me look a lot more flattering in his photos than I am in real life. Connor, and everyone else involved with the instruments and making sure you had the largest supplies of guitar strings known to man ready and standing by for whenever I stepped on stage. And of course, all of you involved in the press, merch, security and everything else which I'd definitely suck at doing if I was in your shoes. Thank you all so much, for all of your time you've given me, missing out on family birthdays and other things to give a short, british kid the chance to live out his dream. So really, this is all for you.'
I raise my glass, and everyone else does the same. I turn to look at Noah, and he's got a beaming smile on his face, as does the rest of my family next to him. Great. That means I didn't totally ruin a good speech.
'And don't worry everyone, you're all gonna get a massive bonus for your time. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart again. Let's enjoy the rest of tonight, and hopefully we'll all be together soon for the next tour. If you can still stand me after this tour.'
More scattered chuckles rise from around the room.
'CHEERS!'
All the glasses in the room clink together, as everyone voices their appreciation for my little speech. Everyone begins mingling as people start bringing out other drinks different to Champagne, and the wrap party fully commences. I take my time to thank each and every person in that room, and they do the same, although I'm definitely more thankful for what they've allowed me to do. I don't even realise who I've reached until their glass clinks with mine again, and I look up, back into the gorgeous eyes attached to my equally stunning boyfriend. His eyes fall down to my still full glass, and a smirk darts across his mouth.
'You're not drinking? And here I thought British lads drank everything--'
I shove him playfully, nearly spilling both our drinks, but who cares. We're both not gonna drink from them.
'It's not exactly my choice of drink.'
'Well, you're lucky that your dad knows that, and now so do I, cause your dad slipped me a little something just now.'
Noah grins as he reveals two small cans of my favourite brand of cider which my dad would sometimes let me have at Christmas or family gatherings. I can't help it. I burst into tears and fling myself into Noah's surprised arms, who holds the cans in either hand and watches me with confusion.
'Don't you like it? It's fine if you don't want them, I can have them instead--'
'Shut up, dumbass.'
Noah looks down at my tear stained face, staring up from the front of his hoodie and I could genuinely drop dead and I'd be happy with that. I'd really like to kiss him right now, but I know that that's not possible in front of everyone -- yet. Instead, one of my hands finds it way around the can and the hand it's connected to, and our fingertips connect, hidden from the view of any nosey people by both of our waists.
A small grin flitters across his face, and my heart soars as I peel myself away from him, can of cider in hand. Noah looks down at my arms, and I'm suddenly aware of the semi-faded scars on my left arm, but luckily Noah's gaze shifts behind me, and a look of surprise appears on his face.
'What is it?--'
I turn round, following Noah's gaze, and I'm greeted with the sight of a buffet cart filled with mini cupcakes decorated with frosting in the colours of my album, and the name of it written on there in frosting too. I turn back to Noah, with eyes probably as wide as they were when I was six on Christmas morning, and he gives me the goofiest smile ever.
'Please leave some for me.'
'I can't make any promises, Schnapple.'
'Just for that, I'm gonna eat them all.'
'Bet.'
Noah makes a big show out of 'pushing' me out of the way and dashing over to the cupcakes, which Becca has already started demolishing. He grabs a cupcake and takes a huge bite, turning around to grin at me with a mouth full of frosting. I can't help but laugh. Quinn's captured the moment already on camera, and now I have an amazing goofy photo of Noah to tag him in later. I cross my arms, and watch as he and Becca start eating their weight in the cupcakes, a small smile on my face. I'm enjoying sitting on the sidelines and watching everyone unwind.
A paper plate nudges me gently in my arm, and I turn round startled at the contact, but only see the grinning face of my gran. She's got two paper plates with a cupcake on each, and she offers me the one she just nudged into my arm. I accept it gratefully, and I take a bite from it as I watch everyone tucking in to the snacks thoughtfully.
'I don't blame them.' My gran says, looking in the same direction I am. 'The cakes are delicious.'
I grin, and place the cupcake which I've only taken a single bite out of back on its plate, turning to wrap my gran in a hug.
'Watch it, I don't want frosting all over me.'
'It's lovely to have you here grandma. I know I've said it already, but I'm so lucky to have you here. We all are. I... I love you so much.'
I pull out of the hug, trying not to let the waterworks start again. My gran beams up at me, and pecks me on the cheek.
'I love you too. You know I wouldn't miss this for anything in the world.' She looks from me, to Noah over by the cupcake stand, and smiles with that little knowing sparkle she always has.
'It's lovely seeing you so happy. That's all your parents and I have ever wanted. For you to be happy. And that Noah lad seems to certainly be helping you with that.'
I splutter a little, even though I have nothing in my mouth, and I hope that she hasn't picked up on my not so subtle reaction. God, I swear I can't stop the gay panics from setting in.
'What do you mean?'
Gran tilts her head at me, with her patented raised eyebrow and bemused look. She looks me over once, shrugs, and returns to looking over at Noah.
'I think you know what I mean. Finding people who make you happy is almost impossible nowadays. So I suggest when you find ones as good as that lad over there, you listen to your heart, you grab hold of them and never let go. He is quite a good looking young man too--'
'Graaaandma!'
She looks back at me with a grin, but I don't feel like I need to hide anything from her anymore. She's made a lot of sense, as she always does. And she's noticed something which I'm slowly starting to notice as well. Noah brings me so much happiness, and draws out the best of me, even if I'm not aware of it at the time.
I wrap her in a hug again.
'Thank you Grandma. You always know what to say.'
'You're lucky I don't charge you.'
We share a grin and she pecks me on the cheek again, before tottering off to annoy my dad. I find my eyes wandering back to Noah, and this time our eyes lock as he looks back over towards me. I blush slightly, and I'm certain he blushes as well, either that or his cheeks have been stuffed with too much cake. Probably both. I look over at my gran as she natters with my parents, and Becca bounds over towards her, wrapping her in a hug and then posing for Quinn as he takes a photo. I'm truly blessed to be surrounded by these people.
Noah's appeared in front of me, and I nearly jump out of my skin at his sudden appearance, making him laugh with a mouth still slightly filled with mangled cupcake.
'You had enough?'
'Well I would have more, but I thought everyone else would like some. And Cade kept on staring at me soooo...'
I laugh, and Noah wraps an arm around me, pulling me a little closer to his side. I look up at his face and break out into a smile.
'What're you smiling so much about? Apart from the whole successful gig thing.'
'Oh nothing. Just thinking about how we're gonna survive a wedding in front of a whole side of the family who hate me.'
The arm around me squeezes me closer towards him, and I've never felt this safe in someone's arms who weren't my parents before.
'We don't have to act anyway to get on their good side. Just be your usual, cute self. And remember what I told you before--'
'Fuck 'em.'
Noah grins, leaning his head against my shoulder.
'Exactly. Fuck them.' His head leaves my shoulder and I miss the weight of it already, even if it highlights just how much shorter I am compared to him. My gaze follows his as he looks off over to where my Gran is standing with the rest of my family.
'Anything else on your mind?'
'Oh, just something funny my gran said to me. And the fact that you've got icing on your nose.'
Noah eyes widen as his face reddens, and he frantically tries to discover the elusive frosting on his face. I burst out laughing, and he looks at me with mock anger.
'Got you.'
'I'm not so sure about that.'
Noah's thumb presses gently against my nose, smearing a bit of frosting on it and I freeze, glaring at him. He immediately looks set to panic, and apologise, which is adorable. I grin and smudge a bit of icing off the top of my half eaten cupcake and place it on his nose as well. We both look at each other with that stupid, giddy look which only appears when you're looking into the eyes of the person you're in love with. I just know that this is gonna end up in a love song I'll write someday.
I'm not even aware of his other arm which has wrapped around me until he's gently pulled me closer towards him, and I'm looking up into his eyes, and he's looking in mine. Fuck, this is way too much like a movie, but I'm not gonna complain.
'Dumbass.'
We both share a laugh, and Quinn's popped up out of nowhere and caught us both smiling at the camera, with the coloured frosting on our noses, looking like absolute idiots, but we're idiots having the time of our lives.
Quinn flashes me a shy grin before disappearing again, and I'm back to staring at Noah's face. I'm back in his arms, and I'm never gonna forget this night. I came home, met my boyfriend and my gran again. And that's something that I'm glad we're always gonna have photographs of. At this point, the one line that always stick with me from 'Photograph' flits into my head.
Wait for me to come home.