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For ifesinachi2000 and Akaeze2000 💕💕💕 play any sweet song of your choice.
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Liz
There is something about a woman with a mission. Its the glint in her eyes, the wicked smile on her lips and the dangerous intent in her heart. Fear her!
She wouldn't stop until she conquered her mountain or until the mountain came to her. I'm a woman on a mission!
My armoury was full. My main weapon was the killer sheer lacy thong I had on, alongside a matching lace bra that exposed more than it was supposed to cover.
The dress I had on was sheer silk; its material was as soft as the skin on a baby's buttocks. It was a white, asymmetrical wrap dress that fell almost to my ankle at one side and as short as to my thigh on the other side. It had full balloon sleeves that made me regal for the birthday dinner I was throwing downstairs. Four inch killer heels, smokey eyes and bloody red LA belle lips. I was going to have my man tonight.
I chuckled at myself in the mirror, I looked like a school girl on a date with her first crush. Did it even matter? He was my first crush, my first love, my first kiss, my first everything in my heart.
My phone started ringing and I tore my self from the mirror to pick it up.
"Pamela!" I answered dryly.
"Ahn ahn! Its me o your best girl in the entire world." She droned on her voice tingled with excitement. "Wait let me switch to video call!"
I smacked my lips gently as the call came on and the next thing I got was Pamela's hype.
"Holy shit! Fine girl you're going to murder someone's son tonight." She fanned herself dramatically and I laughed at how much she was being extra all the reasons I should be mad at her flew right out my brains window.
"Stop exaggerating Pamela!" My British accent making my voice more husky.
"I'm not exaggerating at all!" She screamed then added, "wait! Turn that camera let me see that your thick yansh inside this dress." Pamela giggled like a kid and I couldn't help but catch her excitement too.
"For the one millionth time Pam say Ass or bum or buttocks!" I rolled my eyes as I spoke my hands waving in the air as a quotation mark to prove home my point. I've been correcting Pamela about this stuff since our college days.
Yansh just sounds crude, but Pamela being Pamela will probably never stop.
Until she turned and I saw where she was. Pamela was sitting outside her home at this time of the night and it bothered me. It was almost 7pm over here meaning it was past 1 am over there in Nigeria.
"Pamela, what's going on? Why are you outside the house at this time of the night? Is everything alright?" I rushed out the questions in worry.
"Hmmmn my sister!" She groaned first then started, "my husband threw me out of the house." Pamela also had her pity face on.
"Excuse me!" I shouted this time, "Chris did what?"
"He threw me out of the house." She repeated.
"Why? How? Did you guys quarrel? What did you do Temitope?" I asked question after question not giving her he slight chance to answer.
She looked at me in shock then finally stammered and said "What a friend you are Elizabeth. You just choose his side straight up."
I chuckled at her facial expression, I couldn't help it. "I'm on your side but what did you do this time?" I asked again.
"Nothing," she mumbled gently and pouted.
"Pamela!" I called and rolled my eyes.
"Just a small prank o. One tiny prank and he is squeezing his face like akpu of ten days."
I threw my hair back so that my curls bounced gently and I laughed real hard till my stomach hurt. When I finally stopped laughing I asked, "wait what's akpu?" Even though I didn't know what akpu was it sounded funny, like something I'll use to insult Jason.
Your Akpu face!
"Infact that's beside the point. What did you do to the poor man this time?" She rolled her eyes dramatically and I felt my heart swell with pride and joy, this biyatch right here was my bestie. She was blooming and I'm glad she and Chris worked out their marriage.
"So I saw this prank online about not speaking to your babe for a whole day and I tried it. At first it was funny to him because he kept asking me what he did wrong and trying to get me to talk but the big baby started getting angry especially because he wants attention and after begging and blackmailing all to no avail he got mad. His efforts and reaction were so funny. So now its 12am I told him the dare was up and he got so pissed."
I couldn't help but laugh then she continued, "that's not even why he sent me out. This is why," She pulled off the hood of the cardigan she was wearing and I went rigid with shock.
"What the actual Fuck!" I swore and my eyes almost popped out.
Pamela cut her hair. No she didn't just cut her hair she went bald like hairless. You know the type where the skin shines almost like it was rubbed with a kind of gleaming oil and her scalp was reflective under the bright white light. I'm sure you could use her shiny head as your mirror if you need one.
My reaction must have cracked her up because she held her sides guffawing like a banshee.
"It's not even funny. Pamela why would you cut your hair? You look ugly like a bald baboon!" I screamed.
"Yo! Liz that's foul, you're supposed to support me and love me irrespective of how I look." She replied.
"Yea I'm supporting you by saying you look like a bald baboon." I returned.
"That's body shaming you know?"
"More like head shaming! See how round your head is like fresh egg." I added.
"You're so savage. So the head is part of what? My house right? I won't let you tear down my self confidence. Also isn't egg oval not round?"
"I dont know whose reaction is worse. So now you see why he sent me out." She laughed again slapping her thighs loudly then continued, "Chris said I should go back to the saloon and have them glue my hair back or have hair replacement surgery. All he knows is I shouldn't come back till I have hair back on my head."
Her eyes was watering from laughing so hard and I felt like choking her right now.
"I hate you!" It wasnt even funny to me, I loved Pamela's thick afro.
"If I do this shit, Jason will almost divorce me that man is obsessed with playing with my hair. Like what do you expect the poor man to stroke when he is doing the deed?" She just started laughing again.
"Do the what! He should stroke the bare scalp now or my eyebrows is that not hair too?" She held her sides now which probably hurt from laughing too much then continued, "I swear you and Chris are drama queens. Its just a prank!"she pulled off something that looked like a skull cap painted in exactly the shade of her skin probably with foundation or dye and underneath it was her hair ironed flat and pinned up in such a way that her hair was as flat as possible.
"Pamela! I shouted again and felt my insides go lax."Stop this shit, I hate it. You and Jason should probably just get married to each other."
"I got you real good right. Let me go and show the husband before he gives himself high blood pressure."
You're such a kid!" I taunted.
"Whatever drama queen. Happy birthday to my brother in_love, send my regards okay." I nodded quickly not before I saw Chris walking towards her and she got up and started running her laughter wild and free.
"I swear I'm going to spank you tonight!" Chris said out loud and I couldn't help but laugh. I wonder if their kids knew their parents where playing outside at past midnight.
"Dont say that out loud, Liz will think we are freaky." Her eyes were full of mirth and I couldn't help but miss my own baby. "Bye Liz!"
"Bye freaky freaky!" I returned and she opened her mouth shell shocked while I laughed at her expense and ended the call.
I checked my self out in the mirror one last time and headed down. Jason's text entered like few minutes ago while I was on call letting me know he he was headed home alongside Xavier. I'm sure he loved the chase just as much as I loved putting it together. Xavier had helped me create the ultimate search and I was grateful for that.
The last search must have led him to D'Armani San Fran collection shop; where I had bought him a mouth watering complete outfit of almost fifty thousand dollars which he was supposed to change into and come home. Another card was also in that shop that was supposed to lead him home where his gift was.
His last special gift was a necklace; a gold cross necklace that had our names engraved behind it, another letter, a Play station five(5) and the lingerie I had on. The last one though put me exactly in the same freaky mode, Pamela and Chris where all about.
So tonight my husband gets a freaky and his surprise.
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What do you think about Pranks? I play a lot but I dont like extreme or silly pranks.
I laughed hard while writing this chapter. It wasnt even my original draft but I had to write it. Because ya'all know I'm Pamela. I'm somewhere right now pitying someone's son because he must sha play with me and I must sha stress him 😂😂
Marry someone that you can express yourself with, play with in fact this shouldn't even only be about marriage in your relationships and friendships too okay. E get why?😂😂
Stay safe
Orex💕💕