Luna was exhausted, after sending Toby back to her room with the help of the hospital staff, everything just went on messy real fast. Toby was hysterical, his break down scared her, yet she couldn't blame him either. Now, stuck in her room, Luna just wanted some peace. At least for an hour or two. She fell into a short slumber when her phone started ringing violently on her side table. A phone call that sent her running out of the house at eleven in the evening.
A search party had been assembled, France, Lexus, Athena and even Caleb were running around town, searching for Toby who was reportedly sneaked out of the hospital half an hour ago. Tyra was a mess when she called her, begging her to find her son.
The cold summer air blew harshly on the desolated street, accompanying Luna as she ran to places where Toby could possibly be. Lexus went to the park near the Greene household, yet it was cold and empty, no sign of Toby passing there. Athena and France went to the arcade, the pizza shop and even the alley bookstore that Toby frequently goes to, and like Lexus, none of them was lucky to caught traces of him. Caleb even went as far as asking some of his teammates for herlp, but Toby was nowhere to be seen.
"Where are you, Cooper?" Luna could feel the dreary feeling washing all over her, she was terrified. If only she didn't leave him alone, maybe things would have been a little different. Tyra told her everything after Toby's outburst, the cancer cell was spreading rapidly, and this time, the chemo failed them. It was already a losing battle, leaving the bone marrow transplant as their last resort. But Toby had given up even before the treatment started, he refused to undergo another operation, why? Luna wasn't sure either.
After what felt like hours of wandering all alone, Luna found herself standing in front of Sheldon's big gates. The school was eerily silent, the rustling sound of dried leaves being swayed by the gush of wind making her throat dry. The cold metal hiding in the bushes where she and her friends would sneak in for Senior Pranks Day was still there, Lexus cut the metal fence when they were in sophomore year, and up to this day, no one seems to care enough to find out about their secret door inside the school.
Luna waltz inside the school building, ignoring the fear creeping on her skin, either it was because of the ghost roaming inside the school that their Senior's used to scared them years ago, or the thought of finding Toby lying unconsciously somewhere, all alone and completely broken. She was running up the stairs as fast as her body would let her, ignoring how her lungs felt like it was about to explode from the lack of air as she opened the door, desperately praying and hoping that Toby would be waiting for her on the other side.
"What do you think you're doing here Cooper!?" her words cutting through the trance that he was in, hoping that she doesn't sound as mad as she truly felt. Toby was standing on the same spot where she'd seen him the first time. Near the edge of the rustling railings, looking as beautiful and broken as he was.
"You came," he whispered loud enough for her to hear, the sound of his voice breaking her resolve into a million pieces. Luna was running towards him in no time, wrapping his cold body on her warmth. He was shivering despite the thick coat and scarf that he was wearing.
"You're an idiot Cooper," she muttered, fighting the growing lump on her throat. Luna put another thick layer of scarf on his neck, desperately avoiding his burning gaze.
"I'm your idiot, Ms. Greene," Toby replied, not missing the teasing tone on his voice as he pulled her back into his arms.
"Let's go back now, everyone's worried about you," Luna deliberately avoided asking him why, why did he run away from the hospital, without a word to a single soul. Why he refused to undergo the operation, why he was being such an idiot and making everyone run around town searching for him. A part of her was scared to know why, scared to hear the brokenness in his voice. Scared that this time, she will crumble alongside him.
"Can we stay for a while?" Toby asked, more like a desperately plea that she was too weak to resist. And so, they stayed, Luna pulled out some supplies hiding on a small container behind the water tank. Putting the thick blanket against the concrete and a few cushions that she brought a few months back for Toby's birthday. The memory of that day felt like a lifetime away, funny how a few months can drastically change someone's life.
Luna rested her head lightly on his shoulder, his arms wrapped around her from behind. Toby cold fingers tracing every line of her hands, his touch calming her nerve, she could feel the adrenaline slowly drifting off her senses, replaced by fatigue from running all over the town.
"You wanna hear a story?" Toby muttered, breaking the silence as he pulled her closer into his arms.
"Hmmm?"
"Remember the day that we first met here?" he asked as the memories from four years ago came flashing like a movie on her head. How can she even dare forget the day that Luna Elliana Greene fell in love with Tobias Amadeus Cooper?
"Yeah," she answered softly, her hands finding their way toward his. Clasping it tightly, not wanting to let go of Toby's hand.
"Luna," Toby uttered her name in desperation. Luna faced him slowly, holding his gaze firmly, recognizing the vulnerability hiding in his warm blue eyes. The night was dark, yet Toby shines brightly against the vast darkness around them.
"That was the day that you saved me,"
"What do you mean?" she asked, unsure what to made out of his words. Sometimes, Toby talks like a walking book of riddles that it might take her forever to understand.
"That day, I was planning to quit school before it even started. Dr. Morris announced that my disease was once again, in remission. Honestly, I never thought I'd last this long either,"
"But you did, and you will survive again this time,"
"Luna, do you know why I refused the treatment?" he asked, like the mere thought of the transplant was too much for him to handle. Luna shut her mouth, but her gaze didn't leave him for a second.
"I'm tired. I don't think I can do this cycle of getting my hopes up that the treatment would work out this time, only for my hope to be crushed over and over again," Luna couldn't tell him that she understood, because she didn't. All her life, Luna gets what she wants one way or the other, she never knew what hopelessness means, and there he was, a boy who clings to a sliver of hope for a miracle, only for the world to trampled on his struggles to survived.
"So, you will give up?" her taunting words making her feel sick, blaming all the gods above for making such beautiful creature to be tainted with all the worlds negative emotion. Toby didn't deserve any of it.
"I never said, I would,"
"Stop talking in riddles, Cooper!" Luna snapped, all the frustration and worries buried deep under her skin came crawling out in the open, she was as broken as him yet for him to think about giving up now after everything that he went through ripped the last piece of sanity that she held on a little too tightly for the last few months.
Toby watched the first tear fell from her eyes, his hand reaching for her, desperation and agony graced his pale skin, but his hands never reached her, the fear etched on his eyes burned every part of her. Toby was as scared as her, and Luna finds comfort in knowing that she wasn't alone burning in between the heaven that he was and the hell that they were in.
"Don't give up on me yet Miss Greene, I can't do this alone. And as selfish as you know I am, I cannot give you up either. I know what's waiting for me once I entered that operating room, I'm scared of leaving you behind, of leaving everyone behind, but I still hope you will be with me until the end," It was torture, he was pain and pleasure all the same. He was unfair, in every essence of the word, Toby couldn't let her go despite everything that's hurting them, and yet she was as masochistic and stupid as him for not wanting to let him go either.
"I'll never forgive you if you ever leave me, so be selfish as much as you want. The future can fuck themselves, but I'll stay, no matter how painful it will be, so don't think about me, and just go, do it!" Luna could feel everything inside of her breaking for every word that left her mouth, she wasn't ready for anything, she was as terrified as him, but one of them has to be a little stronger and braver than the other. Because Toby needed all the courage that he can get.
"I'm sorry," he whispered words of apologies that fell on deaf ears against the stillness of the night. Luna crossed the unbearable distance between them, wiping the tears that glittered on the dark against his pale skin.
"I love you," Their lips met like snow meeting the ground, cold, hard, rough, melting everything so slow and all at once, seeping into every fiber of their existence the words that they had failed to convey. Toby lips brushed against her, muttering words of confessions under the starless sky who bear witness to their love and the vast darkness threatening to swallow them whole.