All my memories of this place will never leave my mind. I had already arrived at the bathhouse and said my goodbyes to Dragon. Jaxon was waiting for me at the front door. He looked as if he pitied me.
I ignored it.
His eyes left mine, and I noticed he was looking behind my shoulder. He took a step back and bowed. Quickly, I turned my body around and my eyes met with the Emperor. I bowed my head deeply, but the Emperor cut me off before I could greet him again.
It wasn't that long ago that we were just holding each other...
"Ying Yue, I want to bid you farewell... One last time..." the Emperor whispered to me.
Jaxon tapped my shoulder. "I'll wait inside."
I looked at him and gave him a lingering stare before nodding slowly. This was awkward for me. I still haven't told Jaxon that the Emperor confessed his love to me, but I believed the confession should be between the Emperor and me anyway.
When the door closed, the Emperor took my hand in his. He looked tired. His eyes were slightly reddened, and his skin was dull. I didn't want to ask him anything because I didn't want to point it out.
"I hope you find your way back safely... I hope you are well," he blinked a few times. "If you are too busy to visit, I won't be mad with you. I just hope you will never forget about me because I'll never forget about you."
I shook my head, smiling as I looked up at him. "Your Majesty, it's impossible to forget about you."
"You know," I remained looking at him. I remembered Uncle Bin's speech about war and battles. Still, he was always intrigued with history. "I think the head chef in the kitchen would be a great advisor for battles one day."
The Emperor raised his eyebrows. "Uncle Bin? You talk to him?"
I nodded. "Yes, Your Majesty."
"That'll be a good suggestion. I always take your suggestions."
"Thank you. I'm going to miss you."
He looked at me blankly and leaned next to my ear. I felt his soft lips press against my cheek and I closed my eyes to ground myself.
"Goodbye, Ying Yue," he whispered.
Goosebumps were beginning to form on my arms. I almost shivered at the silk-like voice against my ears.
"Goodbye, Your Majesty," I replied. I cleared my throat soon after. "Also, watch out for the Mongolians... They... they invade years later."
Why did I say that?
The Emperor knitted his eyebrows at me and gave me a weird look. "I will..."
We gave each other one last look before he turned around and walked away. I watched him walk, and when he was at a distance, I turned around and opened the doors. He didn't look back. I was glad he didn't. My heart hurt and not because I loved him, but because I'd leave a place that I had too many memories in.
I was the Empress, for goodness sake, of course, it hurt to leave this place.
When I stepped into the bathhouse, the ingredients were already infused with the steamy water. The pair of clothes I wore before was folded neatly on the ground. I still kept my designer shoes. I always had my Gucci shoes on.
They were worn out but I liked it like that. This pair of shoes have been with me ever since I woke up here. I grew out of it, it wasn't my type of thing anymore. But, I will forever keep it with me because these shoes carried a lot of significance.
Jaxon had the same look on his face. He wanted to tell me something. As he buttoned his jeans, he turned to face me. "Carmen, it's not too late to just stay. You can go home anytime."
"We're not having this conversation," I said as I walked towards my clothes. I took off my attire—which I struggled into taking off—and grabbed my top. Jaxon faced the other way. "I already told you this. I want to go home."
After quickly putting on my clothes, I submerged myself into the water. Jaxon turned around to face me. I gave him a reassuring smile. He plopped himself in after. The water splashed everywhere and I laughed when it got on my face.
Everything will be over soon. I'll be coming home soon. It seemed like I've been here for a decade but it has only been a little bit over a year. I was going to miss waking up and having everything done for me. I was going to miss being able to eat lavish, dress lavish, and look lavish.
Now to think of it, I can't go back home broke. I'll have to quit my job making minimum wage and do something... There was just no way I was going to downgrade.
I had my phone stuffed in my bra. My upper chest was not submerged in water. My left hand held Jaxon's hand, and my right hand gripped Hua Er's pin and the Empress pin tightly. I was never going to let go of either one. The silk bolts the Emperor gave me were in a small bag I knitted. My wrist was in the handles.
Jaxon faced me. "Are you ready?"
I closed my eyes and started to drift. "More than ready."
This time, there was no impact on my head nor any physical harm. I was in a meditative state and I stayed like that. I was no longer aware of time, or the space around me. Everything was just energy.
My body felt light, yet heavy. The transcending feel of my body caused me to fall into a deep sleep, and I let myself relax.
Slowly, I opened my eyes to the bright sunlight above me. The scenery of the light blue sky and the slow-moving clouds was the first thing I saw. I heard the swift movements of the vehicles around me. I heard a honk as well. The next thing I saw, I assumed it would be Jaxon. I sat up from the field I was laying on, but I didn't see Jaxon anywhere.
"Jaxon?" I looked around. My phone was still in my chest, but my pins were nowhere to be found.
No.
This was impossible.
I started to realise where I was. Cars were silently driving past, passing each other fast on the highway. This was the same place where I fell out of the car.
Could it be...
No.
Everything that I've experienced was real. I could not be in deep sleep in the middle of a hill for this long. For a year? No.
My heart was beating fast. I was panicking. Jaxon was not a figment of my imagination, so where did he go? Where did the pins go?
I couldn't go back if I don't have my pins!
Tears began to form in my eyes and I wished I wasn't embarrassing myself in the middle of nowhere. My hands were rummaging through my body... maybe the pins fell somewhere. I got on my hands and knees and tried to find them but it was like finding a needle in a haystack. Literally.
I held onto Jaxon and those pins so tightly. I did relax my body after, but I still clenched my fists as if my life depended on it. My vision was starting to blur. Tears were running down my cheeks as I tried my best to find the pins. I was running my hands through the grass furiously. I looked like a lunatic. I looked crazy. All the cars driving by must have seen me lose my mind.
"Jaxon!" I screamed, yet no one answered.
"Jaxon..." I sobbed, and now my hands were sweaty. I could no longer function and I sat on the ground.
Minutes passed and my head started to hurt. I didn't care. I'll wait for him. I'll wait for him here. I tried my best to keep calm but my heart was rapidly beating. I was heavily breathing on the grass. Bugs were flying around and I almost thought a grasshopper was Hua Er's pin.
The Empress pin is mine! It is always mine...
I was starting to become desperate. I stood up and walked around to try and find it but I couldn't. Theories of me being insane, theories of me ending up in the wrong world scared me. Maybe we truly did separate... Maybe Jaxon woke up at his spot...
"Shut up!" I hit my head to stop the intrusive thoughts.
Thinking negatively won't help me.
I heard small footsteps on the grass. I was now on my knees. My hands continued to run through the grass, but my hands were now shaky. I was afraid if the person behind me was going to kill me... or kidnap me... or call the police on me.
"Sorry for making you wait so long," the familiar voice, the gold I was looking for, spoke. I immediately stood up and turned to face him. He looked at me worriedly. "Are... Are you okay?"
"Jaxon!" I cried, running into his arms like a toddler. He held me in his arms and I laughed hysterically.
I was so close to thinking I was crazy.
My rationality started to make a comeback. I pulled away and hit him on the shoulder. "Where were you? I looked stupid trying to find you and the pins!"
"Oh, sorry. The pins are in my pocket," he tapped his front pocket. "I was afraid if you woke up and you would accidentally stab your hand."
"I'm glad we survived," I grinned. "But I'm still mad at you! Where did you even go?"
Jaxon's forehead furrowed as he looked at me as if I was stupid. "I had to order an Uber for us."
"I—" I blinked a few times.
"Well, we're stranded here," he rolled his eyes.
I opened up my phone. The first thing I noticed was not only the lock screen of me taking a group photo, but I realised that the date didn't match up. It should be October right now.
Jaxon seemed to notice. He looked behind my shoulder. "It's only a week after your accident."
"Are you telling me I have to repeat..." I paused.
He tried to hide his laugh, but I took a deep inhale in.
"Damn it!" I exhaled.
Maybe it was supposed to be like this. A year would've gone by and I would be missing since then. I'd rather repeat the year than have my family worried. I could also relive the next year and I think that was pretty good.
Fine. It was a small price to pay to be back. I'll take it.
Jaxon and I sat in the car silently. We didn't speak until we arrived back at his place so I could be dropped off home. I needed to adjust to my surroundings and the scenery. I felt a little bit of resentment when the driver didn't greet me. It's been so long since I had coffee too. Which, I said out loud, so Jaxon could get me an iced coffee.
After I sipped lightly on my drink, Jaxon broke the silence. "What are your plans now? Your goals, I mean."
"I don't know yet," I shrugged. "But I know that I'm not going back to a nine to five... I have great leadership skills, don't you think?"
He nodded. "I don't think. I know."
I placed the drink in the cupholder. The speed of the car Jaxon went was slow—slower than what I expected of him. However, I think I know why he drove like that.
"How about you?" I crossed my leg over.
"Working under my father in his company," Jaxon paused and then laughed. "He'll be mad that I was gone with no contact, but that's okay. We'll need to come up with an explanation together so—"
I put up my index finger. "I know! You went on a spiritual journey. When you came back from... hiking? Uh... You wanted to see what it was like in the forests near the highway."
"You found me and I was running towards you, screaming 'Help! Help!—" I flailed my arms and imitated the lost, scared girl trope—"And you were rushing to help me."
Jaxon had a rollercoaster of expressions on his face before he stopped at his 'you're a genius' face. "Sounds good. I can also say that after you fell into my arms, I started understanding humanity and the whole of the Universe... Highly unbelievable, but it'll do for now."
He took a pause before continuing.
"However, it'll be confusing why my spiritual journey was at the forest near a highway and not in Thailand with monks or something."
After we shared a laugh, the car gradually fell into a calm silence. I observed the scenery next to me and lost myself in it.
Wow. The modern world. The world that I was from was so different for me now. It sort of felt weird to not be addressed as 'Empress' or 'Your Majesty' anymore. I even forget that my name is Carmen sometimes.
But it didn't take me a long time to adjust. It took me an hour, to be honest, and I ended up feeling safe here. This place was my home. I feel like I took this place for granted which I never will again. Seeing the landscape as we drove by, made me smile at how glad I am that everything turned out fine.
I sighed. "Well, that was eventful—very eventful."
"I can't believe we stayed there for a little bit over one year," Jaxon shook his head. "What a story..."
"A story we can't tell anyone, right?" I turned to face him. He looked at the road. Not looked actually, he glared at the road. He always had a scornful look on his face... or an angry look.
His face softened when he looked at me. He chuckled. "We'll be sent to a psych ward if we told anyone. I think this is our little secret."
I let a slight laugh out. It faded because I know it was true. I wish I could tell someone because that would be a great bragging story. I was royalty at some point in my life. That was something barely anyone can say.
Again, we stayed quiet. Both of us got lost in the music. The soft, melodic tune I played as I charged my phone was soothing both of us after a surreal experience. After all the things I've been through... I needed to listen to the tunes I missed. I did miss the guqin and the performances. Accompanying the Emperor during banquets and watching performances were not so bad.
The Emperor would be missed. I hoped I didn't say that out loud.
My mind started to wander over Guan Shu and Chang Ying, but by the time I started thinking about them, I was already parked outside my house.
"Thank you," I blew an air kiss to Jaxon.
He nodded, slightly smirking. "Text me whenever."
It was good to be back.
When I rang the doorbell and listened to the activity inside, the house was not as lively as I expected it to be. But then I realised that I was missing... for a week. The first door in was quite loud and I startled my family. I know because I could hear rapid footsteps coming downstairs.
The door opened and Cara stood awkwardly as she rubbed her eyes, she looked sleepy and drained. As a middle-schooler, she looked older when I look at her. I wish it wasn't because of stress but I think it was. I stared at her until she took a step back and screamed.
"Cara?" my mother's voice boomed.
The footsteps were rushed, my mother was rushing down the stairs. As I made eye contact with her, she gasped. I stepped inside the house and shut the door behind me and locked it. My lips curled as I saw my mother.
"Where were you?" she yelled. She quickly ran towards me with a clothes hanger on the couch and waved it at me.
Oh no, here comes the waterworks.
I burst into tears the same time my dad came out of the washroom. He looked at me with bewilderment. I was bombarded with a rush of hugs and I cried my eyes out. I missed them. I missed them so much. They don't know what I had to witness and do, but I know that they were worried about me.
"Is Cherry... okay from the accident?" I asked, my voice muffled from the group hug.
"Carmen?" I heard the familiar voice.
Cherry was at the doorway, carrying a huge stack of papers. She gaped at me with glossy eyes and rushed to join the group hug. After a few seconds, I pulled away. They all looked as if they saw a ghost and had to be friendly with it in case it haunted their house. Oddly specific, but it was true.
My father, tears in his eyes as well, shook his head. "Where were you? I... can't believe that you're alive."
Gee, thanks.
"When I looked behind me during the... accident," Cherry took a pause. "You were gone. We thought... we thought this was planned to take you or kidnap you..."
This is when I lie to them. I remained calm and collected. Since this is just a fiction book, I guess everything may not be realistic. So, I took a deep, shaky breath and sighed. "That was exactly the story. I was taken to an abandoned cabin but the attacker was extremely... nice to me. But he had different motives and before he could harm me, I fought the attacker and escaped."
"Really?" Cara asked, her eyes bulged out.
I nodded. "Yes. But I had to survive the woods myself! There was no service on my phone, but there was a guy who was taking a hike and..."
I tried not to laugh at Jaxon taking a hike.
"He found me and—"
"Was he cute?" Cherry asked.
Slowly, I looked away. Was he? He was.
I turned to face Cherry again and nodded. "Yes."
"We're so glad you're home," my mother took my hands and caressed my face. She quickly sniffed. "Oh... I can't believe you went through that. Are you alright? Did your attacker—"
"Mom, the attacker died. I killed him. I was not harmed. So please, let's refrain from speaking about this," I whispered and they all nodded.
Cherry shook her head. "Welp, all my money spent on printing your missing posters... I'm pretty glad you're alive, though."
I took a peek at the pile of papers. It was a picture of me. I was thankful I had a great friend because the missing poster made me look extremely good. Although I was not smiling and it looked more of a mugshot, I still looked good.
"Do you like it? I printed it in colour too," Cherry sighed.
My parents exchanged glances, chuckling like there was a secret message between them.
Cara realised that I was observing them. She looked at me. "We feel relieved, that's all. We sued Uber and the driver. It was a ten million lawsuit and we won."
"Oh, then I guess I'll give pay you back for printing missing posters," I looked at Cherry. I forgot to process that we won a ten million lawsuit.
"We are also very glad that we have you back! Money and my daughter back... I am very grateful," my mother exclaimed.
I took a few minutes to process, but now I understood the bigger picture. Ten million was quite a lot, and I was glad I came a week later. Imagine if I came only a day after and they didn't get to sue them? Tragic. That would be quite tragic. Maybe the Universe was looking after me right now.
My little sister then widened her eyes. "I forgot! Carmen, meet Chen Xi!"
"Huh? What?" I furrowed my eyebrows. Just the name triggered something in me and I followed Cara with my eyes.
She quickly rushed to the living room. "Chesire! Meet Chesire."
"O-Oh... Haha. Where is it? Is it a cat?" I laughed.
It was ridiculous. It was going to be hard to adjust to this setting. Standing here, I was already missing the people I've met. The clothes I was wearing didn't feel the same to me as well.
"No, we didn't get a cat because we knew you didn't prefer cats," my father said.
Cara held the animal in her arms. She was grinning from ear to ear. "I named her Chesire because I thought it'd be funny... because it's a cat's name but she's a dog."
I nodded.
I'm gone for a week and they tried to replace me with a dog.
Thinking about cats, I missed Dragon as well. If it wasn't for her, I would've died. The poison in the food could've killed me, especially because I eat too much.
"Cats aren't that bad... If you guys really wanted to get one, we really could!" I suggested.
Cara shook her head. "You have changed. Are you the real Carmen? You said you hated cats."
I am the new Carmen... The Carmen they know and love is gone.
She gently placed the puppy on the ground and it immediately barked. She barked loudly and ran to me. As she started jumping on my leg, I bent down to pet her. It's been so long since I petted a dog.
I laughed. I was amused by this dog. She was a golden retriever, and her tongue was sticking out as she continuously jumped in pure joy. "Who's a good girl? You are!"
"Chesire is surprisingly very happy to see you... She wasn't this joyful when she met us for the first time," my mother sounded disappointed.
"I guess I'm special," I squatted down and played with her for a while.
"Chesire's a good dog. She's always here to serve us," Cara watched as I giggled at each lick. "I think she's good for you. She'll serve you after your traumatic accident and... attacker."
She'll serve you.
Chen Xi.
Either my mind was playing tricks on me or I was overanalyzing things, but I almost forgot about my maid who betrayed me. There she was, gripping her hands on the bars and shouting at me while I walked away.
"Milady, you were the best to serve... I hope in the next life, we will be friends, I hope to make it up to you... I'll do what it takes for you to forgive me in the next life!"
Her voice echoed at the back of my mind and it felt as if I spaced out for an eternity. My heart started to beat. I stared at Chesire who was still looking at me with joy. A big grin, her tongue was sticking out and she was heavily breathing. My eyes started to water but I blinked back the tears. I smiled.
"Yeah," I nodded, patting her head. "I think we'll be really good friends."