Robbie
I've finished helping Noah's mum wash up the dishes from the meal we had together, and although I was laughably nervous at the start, by the end we were comfortably talking with each other.
It'd been really cool hearing about how her and Mitchell met, the lives they've led and of course, Noah and Chloe coming along and how Noah got into acting. It's great talking about the things I'm passionate about with someone else who appreciates the arts for all they are.
I head back upstairs and then down the corridor to my room. I stop halfway down the hall, pausing to look at the family photos lining the walls. God, Noah looks like he's been this happy and full of energy since he was a little kid. It's kinda adorable. A smile forms on my face as I look over the photos of holidays gone by, and I don't hear a door creak slightly open behind me.
'GRAAAH!!'
Noah's grabbed me from behind, and I let out what's probably the least manly noise I've ever made. Noah's in stitches of laughter as I stagger against the wall breathlessly. I glare with mock anger over towards the wannabe clown.
'You little shit.'
'That's the best noise I've ever heard come from you.'
I shove him, and he pushes me back. We pause, staring each other down. I flip him off, and head into my room. I throw myself onto the bed, rolling onto my back and pulling out my phone. Noah's followed me into the room, and seats himself on the end of the bed facing me, his face still flushed from laughing.
I sit myself up at the other end of the bed.
'Are you stalking me or something?'
'Just making sure you're behaving yourself.'
He grins cheekily at me, and I roll my eyes, turning my attention to the phone in my hands.
It's oddly quiet again, but that's the thing with me and Noah -- we can have these silences and it feels comfortable. I finish typing out a quick update text on Whatsapp to my parents, letting them know I made it to New York and Noah's place alright. As the text sends, I drop my phone and find myself staring at Noah, whose now sat up with his legs crossed, facing me from the other end of the bed.
He's wearing a simple white hoodie, his blue light glasses, and a pair of black sports shorts. I don't want to stare at him for too long, but I really can't help it. Seeing him when he's not had to 'dress up' in designer stuff unlike when he's outside is really cute. Luckily my phone buzzes with a response from my parents, and I go to check it before Noah can look up and see me staring at him like an idiot.
I read my parents response and decide it doesn't need a reply, it's pretty much self explanatory. I look back up from my phone, and this time Noah and I find ourselves staring at each other. Noah looks like he's got something to say, so I just raise an eyebrow and say nothing.
'So.. y'know how you said I didn't have to come to every one of your gigs?'
I drop my phone on the bed next to me, and lean forward a little.
'Noah... what did you do?'
'You mean what did my parents do.'
'Oh no.'
Noah grins, holding his phone screen out towards me. It's displaying a screenshot his dad had sent him, showing an 'order confirmed' email, with the Madison Square Garden logo in the header.
'You bought tickets?'
'Well, my parents did. When they first went on sale.'
I frown slightly at him, but it's really just masking my excitement. Noah's coming to see me again. Just knowing that he'll be there in the crowd makes me that little bit more excited about everything.
'Well, I can't blame you if it was your parents... I guess they're bigger fans than you are --'
'Shut up! You know I'm the president of your fan club.'
I laugh at seeing how worked up Noah got, and he blushes a little as he realises the reaction he just made.
'Thank you though. It'll really mean a lot with you being there.'
'I said I didn't want to miss seeing such a big part of your career, I'm more than happy that I'm going.'
I beam across at Noah, he smiles back and I can literally feel my insides melting. He's so sweet and caring, going above and beyond for his friends. I just wish I was returning the favour as well as he was.
I catch him looking at me, and we both blush a little. He's just looking at me. As a friend. I'm not reading too much into this right? Noah unfurls his legs, stretching them down alongside me at the other end of the bed.
'Are you tired yet? I don't know if you want an early night or something, with you know what happening tomorrow night, cause I can leave you alone -'
I shrug.
'Honestly, I'm not as tired as I normally am by now. If you think you could still manage a couple more hours with me then that's your choice.'
Noah jumps up from his bed, a small grin on his face.
'Where are you going?'
'I'm gonna get my laptop. You wanna watch something?'
I nod earnestly. I haven't had too much time to sit down and just enjoy a show or even a movie, so I could do with that. And especially watching something with Noah too would be amazing. I can't get enough of him so I want as much time with him before I know I'll have to fall asleep.
As Noah leaves the room, I look down at my phone again, just as it buzzes with a text.
Quinn 🤙: How's the date going with your bf? 🤣🤔
Robbie: Quinn, I stg... 😤 if you MUST know, everything's fine. his parents are super nice and made me feel really welcome here. nothing exciting is really happening 🤷♂️ we're just about to watch something together
Quinn 🤙: Soooooo.... Netflix & Chill??? 🤣😉
Robbie: I'm gonna hit you so hard when I see you tomorrow. as if anything like that would happen, I'd never do anything like that with him EVEN if he wasn't straight AND if we were dating 😤
Quinn 🤙: Whatever happens tonight, don't go making yourself feel bad about this. Just remember what I said. I'm rooting for Nobbie, for both of you.
Robbie: thanks dude. i'm SO not the best person for this kind of 'figuring out if you like someone' crap 😂
Quinn 🤙: also don't forget to wear protection
Robbie: ffs Quinn 😤😤
Noah enters the room, carrying his laptop and charger under his arm just as I finish sending my response to Quinn.
'Someone sent you a weird message?'
My eyes shoot up from my phone, and I lock the screen before flinging it onto the bed.
'Only Quinn being his usual, annoying self.'
'Well okay, you've gone a little bit red there. He must be really good at annoying you.'
'I guess it's just second nature to him after we've been friends for so long.'
Noah's closed the door behind him, and comes over to the bed, placing his laptop and its charger down on the covers next to me.
'I like Quinn. He seems like a cool friend.'
'Yeah he is. I don't know what I'd have done without him when I started secondary school.'
Noah's got onto the bed, crawling over next to me, and I start to tense up. He freezes before he manages to properly seat himself, and instead jumps back off the bed towards the door.
'What is it?'
He turns back to me with a huge grin.
'I nearly forgot some of the best things we need when watching a film.'
Before I have a chance to ask him what exactly these things are, he's disappeared. I'm not left waiting alone for long though, which I'm glad of. I don't like being alone with my thoughts, especially when I'm this nervous around him.
Noah bursts back through the door, clutching a bundle of pillows and a massive amount of bags of American sweets. I can already feel my stomach flinching from the sheer amount of sugar I'm going to end up consuming.
'I tried grabbing some of the snacks you might not have had a chance to try in the UK.'
He dumps the diabetic mountain on the bed, and I sift through some of them. A lot of them are different variations of Haribo's and Skittles, which are probably my favourite sweets of all. Or candy I guess if we're in America. They're always gonna be sweets to me though.
I lift up some of the packets of Skittles.
'You've got good taste. Skittles are my favourite sweets, I've always wanted to try all the American flavours we could never get in the UK.'
Noah giggles as he seats himself next to me, tossing some spare pillows to me, which we set up around ourselves to create the most comfortable space imaginable.
'What are you laughing about?'
'You calling them sweets. They're candy.'
'They're sweets.'
'Candy.'
I grab one of the pillows and smack Noah with it, catching him off guard as he nearly spits out some of the sweets he'd started shovelling into his mouth. He raises his arms innocently.
'Let's agree to disagree. If anything, you calling them sweets is... kinda cute.'
I freeze, lowering the pillow I was about to give him a second hit with. I don't need to be a genius to tell that my cheeks are already starting to burn up. Again.
'You... think it's cute?'
'Well -- it's also annoying, but you're the guest, even if you're wrong -'
I smack him with the pillow again.
'You Americans are the ones who're wrong. I'd never call sweets candy. Like, it's so weird -'
Noah catches me off guard with a pillow to my face, which he'd grabbed whilst I was revelling in my victory.
'There. We're even now okay?'
I fix him with what I hope is my dirtiest scowl, but it just makes him start laughing even more. I cross my arms, and drop back into the comforting embrace of the pillow pile.
'Whatever. Just eat your candy and shut up.'
Noah gasps, rolling over right into my face.
'YOU SAID IT!'
'Said what? -- Oh shit.'
It's Noah's turn to look smug, and he leans across me, picking some skittles from my open bag and popping them into his mouth with a grin.
'You've corrupted me. Happy?'
'Incredibly.'
He gives me this adorable goofy grin, and I feel my pulse racing. It's little things like this which remind me why I think I'm crushing so hard on this guy.
'Here's my peace offering.'
Noah slides across a packet of unopened Skittles, and I snatch them away from him with mock contempt. I slide some of the sweet capsules inside my mouth and chew thoughtfully, aware that Noah is watching me. I pull a face of mock smugness.
'This... shall suffice for now.'
Noah laughs, and I feel my insides warm a bit with the sound of his laughter.
'Whatever you say, weirdo. What do you wanna watch?'
'I'm the worst person to ask that question to. I really don't mind as long as it's nothing trashy. Or a horror film. Because I'd actually like to sleep tonight.'
Noah grins.
'Alright then. A horror movie it is!'
'I swear to God, I'll get off this bed and leave you alone with your scare-fest.'
'Okay, okay, I hear you loud and clear. Let's just scroll through the list of stuff and see if there's anything we can agree on.'
I roll my eyes.
'Then get prepared to be here all night.'
'Hey! I'm sure there'll be something we can agree on.'
'I may even thank you for letting me stay over by yours by letting you choose something you wanna watch, without arguing.'
Noah looks over at me with mock surprise.
'You'd do that for me?'
'Of course I would, dumbass.'
Noah grins at me using his own insult against him, and opens up his laptop, logging into Netflix. As he opens up the list of suggested films, he sidles himself up closer to me, so close that we're touching.
His focus is on the screen as he starts slowly scrolling through the long list. My focus is trying to be on literally anything other than the boy next to me. I'm so laughably nervous, but I can't help it. We're lying next to each other, actually making contact with each other. And it feels so right.
Noah finally stops scrolling as he stops at a film which I can't help but grin at.
'Shrek?'
'Why? You hate it?'
'No. I just didn't think you had such a refined taste.'
Noah digs me in the shoulder at my taunt, and I roll my eyes in retaliation.
'So we're agreed?'
'Of course. Dude, get my swamp daddy on the screen now.'
Noah bursts out laughing, and I feel myself cringe a little. "Swamp Daddy??" What the hell was I thinking?! Well, as long as Noah enjoyed it, that's what matters.
'Please just start playing it before I say another stupid thing.'
'You're crazy dude. You're lucky I like crazy.'
We look at each other, and this time both of us blush. I shuffle a little anxiously, and Noah notices that we're close to each other, and goes to adjust himself.
'Shit, sorry man, I didn't realise I was in your personal space.'
He slides himself a little bit away from me, and I see that his face looks a little crestfallen. I don't know where I got the sheer confidence to do what I'm gonna do next, but I know that Noah probably wants this, and I think I do too.
'No! It's alright dude. You can lie right next to me, you don't have to stay away. I don't mind.'
He looks at me, his eyes starting to brighten a little bit more with that signature spark.
'You sure?'
I look away, bashfully.
'Yeah... I kinda like having someone close to me when I watch films anyway. Especially if I'm gonna get scared.'
'You gonna get scared by Lord Farquaard?'
'Oh definitely. I'm terrified. Traumatised since I was a child.'
Noah grins, and so do I.
'Well in that case, I can't let you get scared then can I?'
He slides back into the vacant space next to me, and our legs end up touching at the end of the bed. There's a pillow with all our snacks on it placed strategically between us, but at least we're able to get our legs next to each other.
Noah looks at me and almost asks if I'm okay with just his eyes. I nod, and he starts the film. As the title credits start to roll, I gently nudge my leg against his, as we both stare at the screen. I'm hoping I haven't taken this too far and I'm creeping him out.
Nothing happens, and I feel my hope start to fade away. I've creeped him out, turned into another creepy fan. But I then feel a gentle nudge back on my leg. I freeze in shock, completely not expecting Noah to have responded.
I tilt my head slightly towards Noah, trying not to give away that I'm looking at him. His face is completely neutral, and he's focused on the laptop in front of us. But I definitely feel like something unspoken has been shared between us.
As Shrek bursts out of his outhouse to the familiar sound of Allstar by Smashmouth, I move my leg again and leave it resting gently against Noah's. He doesn't move his leg away, and we stay there, watching the opening sequence. I'm hoping this was the right way to start dropping hints. Him not being freaked out has gotta be a good sign right?
I'm suddenly aware of my own rapid breathing, and I'm panicking as I try to slow it down before Noah notices. I manage to get it back under control, and I'm also made aware of how Noah's breathing has slowed a little bit too. It's kinda nice. Our legs touching, starting to breathe in sync with one another. Maybe this is the sign both of us need.
*The Next Morning*
I slept really well for a first night in a new place. Normally I'd be uncomfortable and constantly changing positions with the sheets, but I fell asleep really comfortably. I'm sure the obscene amount of food I'd eaten had a part to play, but I couldn't explain it. The sheets, staring up at the walls and the ceiling, I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time -- home.
Noah's still sleeping peacefully next to me, and I can only see his face peeking out from the cocoon he created with all the pillows and blankets from our movie night. I stare at him, completely innocently. How the hell does he look so perfect, even when he's sleeping? Even with his brown hair sticking up and all over the place, it looks better than my own hair, even on the rare occasions I attempt to 'style' it.
I slowly drag myself up into a seated position, trying not to awake the snoring teen next to me. I search the pillows and covers around me with my hands, trying to find my phone amongst the mess. I manage to find it, and pull it out from the cavern of pillows. Sliding my glasses on from where I left them on the bedside table, I unlock my phone.
I've got a text from Cade, saying that an uber's going to pick me up at 10:30 to take me to Madison Square Garden, for the usual walk around in the venue before a gig. I definitely want to go and see what the place looks like when it's empty. It's a little bit past nine, so I've got some time to actually get somewhat presentable if there's gonna be people watching for me there.
I feel some movement from the cocoon next to me, and then a low groan. I turn, and see Noah with his eyes barely open.
'What ungodly time is it?'
'It's just gone nine in the morning'
Noah groans again, rolling onto his side, his back now facing me.
'Too early. Wake me up when it's midday.'
'Well... alright. But then you'll miss me.'
Noah slowly rolls back to face me.
'What?'
'An uber's coming in an hour and a half. Me, Cade and Quinn are gonna walk around the venue whilst the crew start setting up. It's a really cool thing we get to do. You can stay and carry on sleeping here if you want. But... if you want -- you can come along too. Only if you want to though.'
He opens his eyes properly, and squints in the early morning light.
'It's alright. I think I'm gonna stay here, give you a bit of space seeing as you haven't had a break from me for a while.'
'I don't mind. I don't think I'd ever ever need a break from you.'
He breaks into the stupidest grin ever, which makes me grin as equally stupidly as him. He starts to unwrap himself from his cocoon, and I look away embarrassed. He'd taken his hoodie off last night when we were halfway through the film, and I didn't blame him cause it was really hot in the room.
He's shirtless, and I don't want to ogle at him like so many of the girls I know from back home who are massive fans of him. He's cute alright. But I don't want to eye him up like some piece of meat, because I'd still love him even if he didn't look as great as he does.
A slight pang of sadness go through me as well though. The little voice of dysphoria in the back of my head telling me that I'll never be able to be shirtless like that without a binder or expensive surgery. Which reminds me that I haven't had a binder break since I got to Noah's house but that's something I'm just gonna have to deal with as I'm still not ready to cover this with Noah.
He sits up in bed, grabbing his own pair of glasses from within the pillows he'd slept on. He swings around to face me.
'You want some breakfast before you go?'
I nod earnestly, and we both head to the bedroom door.
'Wait.'
Noah pauses and waits for me, as I rush back to my suitcase. I slept in the long sleeve pajama top I normally wear, as much as I trust and love Noah, I still don't want him seeing my arms again. I dig through the suitcase, and throw on a black chequered vans hoodie.
I rejoin Noah at the door, and he doesn't say anything. He's picked up on it, and looks like he won't say anything else about it. Which I'm very thankful for.