AN: Once again we return to more... Tales of Interest! Futurama reference...
Song inspired for this chapter: As Long As You Love Me by Backstreet Boys. This song is perfect for this chapter. Historia confesses a bit of her dark past, and despite her warts and all, Levi still loves her 😍
Jean paces before the campfire, trying to put two and two together. He grips his head with his hands, massaging an oncoming migraine by the looks of things.
I don't blame him. He found me dry-humping the queen pretty much. We must have looked so vulgar.
But you know what, I don't care anymore. I'll scream it from atop the walls: "I'm in love with the queen and I want to fuck her virgin ass!"
Hey, I already have a first-class ticket to hell. May as well make the most of it.
Horseboy has summoned us all together for a "camp meeting" to discuss this new, interesting development.
I mean, it does change our whole group dynamic. Sure, we were close before, but never this close...
The others sit around the fire. Eren perches between his lifelong babysitters, Mikasa and Armin. Sasha and Connie look like a pair of monkeys, and Erwin II licks his ass.
"Well, what is it you have to say, Jean?" Armin finally asks, stealing quick glances at me and Historia.
Speaking of me and Historia...
We stand apart like a pair of naughty children who got caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar. I can feel Historia burning up, but I'm surprisingly calm.
Jean removes his hand from his face, scowling at the pair of us now. I stare at him pokerfaced.
"Why don't you ask those two..." he growls.
The rest of my squad do as he instructs, glancing our way. Even Erwin looks up from licking his balls, his pink tongue sticking out of his mouth.
Disgusting.
No one dares speak. They're all too afraid, but I can see it in their eyes. They probably saw it the moment we arrived at camp. Even Mikasa and Armin saw it while they stayed at the orphanage.
Hell, even the children saw it.
I shut my eyes, releasing a heavy breath. "This doesn't go beyond this camp. Understood?"
"Yes, sir!" they all cry in various tones.
I open my eyes again, meeting Eren's green ones. He stares at me so intently, but every so often his gaze flitters over to Historia, and his expression softens.
His warning runs through my mind again, "It will not end well for you both."
Tch, who cares what he thinks?
I sense Historia's blue eyes as I address my squad. "Historia and I... we... well..."
All of a sudden, I'm tongue-tied. My mouth dries up, and now my heart palpitates.
I know I was prepared to scream my feelings for Historia atop the walls before, but this is actually harder than I thought.
I would be exposing my vulnerable side to them all. They'd lose all respect for me, seeing me as some useless pansy who's not so scary after all.
"Well?" Jean probes and he really is pushing it.
Since when did he get too big for his boots?
I go on. "Historia and I—"
"We love each other."
My eyes bulge as I look around at Historia. Her face is beetroot red, yet she stands tall and proud, declaring our love openly to a whole audience.
Suddenly, I want to shrink. If only I could be so bold and confident.
The camp turns so quiet now, the only sound you can hear is Erwin's licking. Everyone's facial expressions are as follows: Mikasa; deadpan, Armin; speechless, Sasha; agape, Connie; dumbfounded, and Eren; miserable.
Jean throws his palm over his face. "Ugh, you've gotta be kidding me?!"
I roll my eyes. "Pipe down, Jean. It's not that big of a deal. We're both adults."
The lanky bastard looks my way, incredulously. "But... you... you're...?"
I narrow my eyes, knowing where he's getting at. "I'm what?"
The horse-faced boy blinks, peering at Historia. "You're so much older than she is, Captain. I'm sorry. But I cannot accept it."
I die a little inside. Well, what did I expect?
"Well, I respect your honesty, Jean..."
"Also, it's just... weird," he continues. "You're the last two people I ever would have... I mean... I always thought you'd go for Hange!"
I growl. "Don't you bring Four Eyes into this! Besides, maybe it's about time that you told a certain person how you feel, Jean. They're sitting right here. What's stopping you?"
I'm speaking about a certain raven-haired girl, of course. The bastard totally dreams about having her beautiful, black-haired babies one day. It's written all over him.
Mikasa sits on her log impassive, only having eyes for Eren, and I feel bad for Jean.
Unrequited love sucks titan balls...
Jean blushes as Connie and Sasha start chuckling. I cut them off with a glare.
I know he's acting like a brat, but I won't have them laughing at Jean's discomfort. Especially since he's twice the soldier they'll ever be.
Horse-face dips his head and mumbles, "I'm... I'm going for a hike."
He saunters off, and I watch the Wings of Freedom rippling on his back.
Armin looks at me and the queen considerately now. "Do you both truly love each other?"
I peek at Historia, and that's all it takes for me to affirm my answer. "Y-yes..."
Her ocean-blue eyes shine when she hears my reply, and I melt a little.
She looks Armin straight in the eyes, grabbing my hand, and my heart thumps louder. I don't do open displays of affection. So this is new to me.
"We do, Armin," she says. "Very much. Spending all this time together... has made us realise how similar we are. I couldn't have picked a better knight."
The blond boy glances back and forth between us, and now he smiles shyly. "Well... so long as you're both happy. I support it."
I regard him gratefully. Such a nice kid.
Sasha raises a hand. "And me! I support it too, Captain!"
Tch, she just wants me to give her a second serving of bread.
Connie shrugs. "Who cares? I just want to go back home. Camping sucks..."
Mikasa regards us now. "I support your union too, Captain. Historia needs a strong suitor who can protect her after all."
I blink at her, surprised. "Wow... a compliment. Thanks, I guess, Mikasa."
Last but not least is Eren. He doesn't speak. He just keeps those probing green eyes on us.
Historia steps forward, her expression hopeful. "Well, Eren? What do you think?"
He rises slowly, wandering off in the opposite direction of Jean. "The captain already knows of my feelings."
I glare at the back of his floppy head as he vanishes into the woods. He's referring to that stupid warning that he gave me the other night.
Historia deflates at his remark, and I make a mental note of kicking Jaeger's ass for making her look like that.
For some reason, she really cares about his stupid opinion. Sure, Jean will come around, but there's no changing Jaeger's mind once it's set.
He's as stubborn as I am after all.
Erwin jumps down from his log and trots towards me and Historia, weaving between our legs. He rubs his face on my boots, purring.
Well, at least my old commander seems happy for us.
...
The atmosphere in camp turns tense as we pack up to leave.
We have no more business here anymore. We managed to lure another killer in the end. We still don't know much, but at least we know one thing for certain now: a group or organisation are hiring hitmen to take out the queen.
Whoever they are, they must be pretty powerful individuals within the walls.
Not to worry. I'll still draw them out. No one threatens my queen. So long as I draw breath, I will not let anything happen to her.
Just as I place a box of supplies onto a wagon, I hear that bout of pealing laughter behind me, then turn around.
Historia is helping Sasha and Connie pack. Well, she should be, but she's helping them goof off instead. I grit my teeth.
Not even the cute sound of Historia's sweet giggles can pacify me now. She may be queen, but we haven't left camp just yet. She is still under my command.
"Historia, Sasha, Connie, get back to work!"
The three of them freeze instantly, looking my way. Sasha pulls a stupid face, then mutters to Historia, "He even says your name first now."
Historia laughs, nudging her shoulder. "Sasha, stop."
It doesn't take a genius to figure out who they were just laughing about; I thought my ears were burning.
I growl, "I heard that, Blouse. That's it. No bread for you on the way home."
Of course, home for them is Shiganshina. For me, it's the stuffy palace. I will be leaving my squad behind once again, and that sinking sensation returns to my gut.
I'll even miss Jaeger's glum face at this point.
Sasha gasps, approaching me now like a dog with its tail between its legs. She even drops to the ground, and I roll my eyes.
"I'm... I'm so sorry, Captain... I... I won't disrespect you and Historia ever again. Please, just... just don't take my bread privileges away from me!"
The huntress buries her face into the dirt, crying bloody murder as she latches onto my cloak.
I step away in disgust. She's such a mess; she even has a green snot bubble popping from her right nostril.
I glance around camp. This is nothing new, but everyone still stares at the crying eighteen-year-old girl at my feet. They watch her, embarrassed, but I don't miss that disappointed look in Historia's eyes. She's shaking her head as if she has never been so ashamed of me.
She's right. I may as well have just taken candy from a baby. Food is like air to Sasha.
I grunt, shoving her off my cloak. "Fine. In fact, for your help and cooperation for cleaning my wounds, you get two pieces of bread. And maybe a hot potato."
Her face shoots up, and now she has stars in her eyes. There's still snot leaking from her nose. "P-potato? Even with butter...?"
Seriously, what is wrong with her? Sure, since we reclaimed Wall Maria, supplies aren't in such high demand anymore, but butter still isn't cheap. But if it makes Historia look at me with pride, then all right; I'll give Sasha all the butter she wants.
"Yes. Now get up, soldier. You're embarrassing yourself."
"Oh, thank, thank you, Captain!" The girl staggers to her feet, reminding me of how short I really am, and now she stumbles back to her best pal Connie.
I return to the wagon, biting the inside of my cheek. Being nice takes its toll on you.
Historia exchanges goodbyes, and now she comes my way. My heart pounds.
She stops to pick up a box, loading it onto the wagon beside me. When she's done, she smiles at me, and I meet her dazzling blues.
"That was very kind and considerate of you, Captain, to think about Sasha like that."
"Tch, the girl should count herself lucky. Next time, I won't be so merciful."
I go to grab another box, but then she takes my hand, and I stare at our intertwined fingers.
Mine look so aged and weatherworn compared to her soft digits, and not for the first time, I feel our alarming age difference.
I don't consider myself old. Not really. Even after the day I turned thirty.
That's just life; you get older, so deal with it. When you see so many young comrades dying before they reach eighteen, you have to count your blessings.
Hell, I'd be happy to die an old man in his 80s, but right now... I feel like a relic.
Historia is still just a girl. Jean's right; I am too old for her.
Sure... if I was a rich guy, but I'm clearly not.
I have nothing to offer her.
I feel the others staring at us, and I start to sweat. I've never felt so stupid. I will never get used to open displays of affection, yet I don't want to rip my hand away, giving her the wrong idea.
It's different when we're in private but in the company of my squad?
"I know you'll miss them all really," Historia whispers just low enough for me to hear, and the hair rises up on the back of my neck.
She's so close, I can feel her breath.
I swallow several times, moving my gaze up to her gorgeous eyes.
She really is beautiful. That face could stop a world war. Or start a world war...
Men would gladly fight for Historia's affection (and I'll gladly rip the limbs off every single one of them).
I hear Armin mumbling behind me, and my squad vacates the area now to give us some much-needed privacy.
It's like the kid senses my unease, and I'm thankful, but really I bet they're all just glad to get away from packing duties for a while.
I'll tell them off later.
I close my eyes, keeping my hand in hers. "Historia... what... what do you even see in me?"
She blinks. "What?"
I look into her innocent eyes, drowning in that ocean blue current. "Be honest... you know you could do so much better. Not only am I too old for you, but I'm a brute. I take joy in cutting people's limbs off, while you... you adopt orphans."
Historia squeezes my fingers tighter, grinning at me now. "You really want to know?"
I exhale, blowing the hair from my face. "Sure... Why not?"
She bites her rosy red lips, and my body reacts.
Fuck.
I can see why Ymir went out of her way for this goddess-like queen now; every little thing that she does is so subtle, sexy, and feminine.
It's enough to drive a man (and a woman) crazy.
"You're ridiculously attractive," Historia announces next, blushing bright pink.
Now that pulled me away from my sexy fantasies, and I scrunch my brows. "Huh?"
Historia nods, peering up through a pair of long eyelashes. "That's right."
Well, that's news to me. I know I'm not completely unfortunate looking, but ridiculously attractive?
What planet is she on?
She giggles, bringing my hand up to her lips, and my body shudders when she plants a soft kiss on my calloused knuckles. Those same knuckles have done some serious bodily harm to others, yet she still kisses them. "You're a handsome guy, Levi. You probably don't hear it a lot because people are so afraid of you. Plus, you never smile, so that's all people see — a scowl. But sometimes... the light catches the blue of your eyes, and, well... it can make a girl all fluttery inside."
I still don't see it, but I guess I can follow on some level. I do take after my mum after all.
Now she was beautiful. Men's eyes lingered on her the longest when they entered the brothel, and my mum never even wore makeup to attract her clients. She never had to.
Long, raven-black hair with blue-grey eyes and porcelain skin? Mum was a knockout.
I may have inherited my physical features from her, but I'm just a poor imitation. I have nothing on Kuchel Ackerman.
I have no idea how to respond to Historia's confession. No one has called me attractive before... Not that I ever really cared because I'm a guy, we don't really give a shit, but I suppose it beats being ugly.
So long as she sees me in a good light, then I'm satisfied.
She's waiting for my response and finally, I say, "Thanks... I guess."
She smiles at me sweetly, and now I go to load another box onto the wagon, my heart thumping inside my ears.
She thinks I'm hot.
Historia sucks in a deep breath. "I... I think it's about time I told you a little bit more about my past, Captain. No one else knows about this... The only other person who saw this side of me was Ymir, and, well... she's gone now."
I turn around, still holding the box. I'm grateful Armin got the others to leave; Historia's about to pour her heart out. We don't need an audience.
She takes a moment to compose herself. I raise a brow. "Well, what is it? We haven't got all morning."
She squeezes her eyes tight shut. "I... I know everyone thinks I'm this sweet girl who'd never harm a fly, but... back in the Cadet Corps... I.. I was prepared to let another soldier die..."
My eyes expand, and I drop the box at my feet, curiosity getting the better of me now. "I'm listening."
It seems that I'm about to learn something new about our gracious queen. I brace myself.
Historia opens those big eyes, and they're shining with tears. "I'm not proud when I think back on that cold, wintery night. Every time I see the soldier now, the guilt tears me apart. The 104th Cadet Corps were doing military training up in the mountains just a few months before Wall Maria fell. There was a blizzard, and I lost track of my team. But instead of finding the easiest route back down the mountain, I decided to go the long way. In that respect, I would have died a hero... The good girl who prioritizes the lives of her fellow soldiers over her own. I... I just thank the heavens Ymir had stuck by my side and called me out on my bullshit. I... would have actually gone through with it too."
I don't speak for some time after she finishes. I just gape at her for a while, not sure of what emotions I'm feeling. Sure, it's an eye-opener, but it's definitely exposed a whole different side of her.
Not a bad side per se. Just a sad, vulnerable one.
She whimpers, turning away from me now as if she's ashamed of herself. "I... I believed that if I let myself die... then... I would be making the world a better place. I'm sorry. But at least you can stop feeling like such a monster when you compare yourself to me. I'm no different in the end, Captain..."
Something sinks inside my stomach, and it's like I've swallowed a brick. I see that lonely girl again sitting across the table from me — the same one who confessed her depressing backstory just two and a half years ago. Before her ascension to the throne.
I've always known the girl had wished she'd never been born. Hey, I've felt the same a few times myself, especially in my own youth when I was a sad, grubby kid who no one loved too. Yet I never realised she had gone to such extremes. It's one thing to contemplate taking your own life, but that of another? She must have been in a really, really dark place, and when you think back to that smiling, cheery façade she used to put up, it makes it all the more depressing.
I still don't say a word. I just let her have her little moment. It was obviously something she had to get off her chest.
I let some time pass before I approach her, placing my hands on her shoulders. She won't meet my eyes.
"Historia, look at me."
She shakes her head. "No. I don't want to see the disappointment in your eyes. I... I should have just gone on and let you think that I'm some pure little angel. I'm sorry, Captain. I didn't mean to ruin your perception of me, but when I hear you talking so badly of yourself... it... it breaks my heart."
I force her to look at me, yet she still squeezes her eyes shut. I carry on, regardless. "I don't fucking care about all that crap. Look, you can't be Snow White all the time, Historia."
She finally opens her eyes, confused. "Who's Snow White?"
I shrug. "Who knows, but you're only human. You're allowed to have some dark days."
She angles her face away again. "As dark as letting another soldier die?"
I blink, wondering how best to respond without making her feel like shit. "It's an eye-opener, but nothing too disconcerting. Sure, if I'd been the captain of your squad at the time, I would have had you court-martialled on the spot, but it's in the past now, Historia. You're not that girl anymore. You've come a long way. I bet your mother and father would be eating their words right about now if they were still alive. Even though they never appreciated you, they produced an amazing daughter."
She shuts her eyes. "I... I guess..."
"Hey." I take her chin in my hands, moving her eyes up to mine, and I see that sad little girl at last.
You know what, I'm glad her parents are dead. They didn't deserve a beautiful child like Historia anyway. Especially if she was as cute and charming as little Krista back at the orphanage.
"Historia, just remember who you're talking to. I'm Levi Ackerman... I was once the most notorious thug in the underground. I cut people's throats for fun. I left my friends to die out on the battlefield just so I could go and kill Erwin Smith. I make your one crime look like child's play, and no... being born is not a crime!"
Her eyes swell as if she's seeing a ghost, and I stare at her perplexed. What's gotten over her?
"A-Ackerman?" she whispers.
It takes me a moment to process what she's saying, and then the penny finally drops. I let go of her, having the sudden urge for the ground to swallow me up.
Well, shit.
I guess I just accidentally confessed my true identity.
AN: Nice going, Levi...
They don't really show it in the manga, but does everyone know Levi is an Ackerman? I think I explained in an old chapter about how it seemed that only Hange knew based on chapter 126, but I think he would keep it a secret, only telling her. He just isn't the type to confess to the world, and it seemed like information that only the Marleyans knew about anyway. Well, with the Ackermans being bio-engineered from titans and all.
I loved Historia's confession. I feel that's something she'd want to get off her chest to set the record straight; I'm not such a nice girl after all.
Her other confession about Levi's sexy good looks felt good too. If only Levi knew about all his fangirls. Oh well...
POSSIBLE SPOILER. As you know, that soldier Historia was going to let die died in the end in chapter 128. RIP Daz. Your weird face will be missed (seriously, how old was he? He looked forty to me).
Jean ships Levihan... just sayin' 😂
I wish he would tell Mikasa how he felt. But she'd probably turn him down anyway for that suicidal maniac. Poor horsey.