Robbie
A short car ride later and I'm walking through the doors into the atrium of the Tabernacle. I'm impressed, it's got the same old theatre vibe and decor that a lot of venues in the West End of London have. I wasn't expecting something like this, especially in America. I gaze at the intricate carvings on the walls, following them around the room until my eyes falls on Cade. They're less twitchy than they were earlier, thank God.
They notice me and grin.
'You ready to see where you're gonna be playing?'
I nod, definitely playing down my excitement.
Cade makes a move for the large double doors and opens them, almost with the same flair Willy Wonka did when opening the doors to his chocolate factory. I'm trying to play it cool, but there's a huge smile plastered across my face as my breath catches in my throat and I take my first steps into the massive open room. Cade notices, and chuckles.
I stare up at the high ceiling, thinking about what the acoustics must be like in this place. Small balconies line the sides of the room, a level above the massive open space in front of the stage where the standing crowd are going to be.
I stand in the middle of the room, taking it all in. I love coming to venues when they're empty cause they feel so different. You can get a proper feel of the place you're playing, and this is one of my favourite parts of what I do.
I can't help but pull out my phone and record a short video for my Instagram story, just spinning on the spot showing the empty location. I watch as it posts on my story, hoping that'll build up the excitement for the few people who care. I turn to face the stage where I'll be standing later - some stage hands and tour crew are setting up some screens at the back of the stage, and I see our guitar tech Connor placing my trusty old loop pedal centre stage, near some mic stands which are also being set up.
I take the steps up onto the stage, placing my hands in the pockets of my jeans as I gaze out at the empty space. It's funny to think how different it's going to look in several hours, with the stage lights on and the sea of faces of people who are unbelievably there for me and my music.
'Just think, there's going to be just over two and a half thousand people here tonight.'
Cade has appeared next to me, and has conjured another coffee out of nowhere into one of their hands. I turn my head slightly towards them.
'You mean?'
'Yep. You've sold the place out. We've got a full house tonight.'
'That's... pretty freaking cool.'
I return to staring back out at the empty space. I hear a shutter click, and spin round quickly in the direction it came from, knowing exactly who it was. Quinn's standing there smiling, baseball cap spun off to one side of his head, his eye glued into the view piece of the camera in his hands.
Quinn has been one of my longest standing friends aside from Adrian, and he's always wanted to do tour photography for his favourite musicians in the world. So as soon as I found out I'd be going on tour, I offered him the role of my tour photographer. He's done an exceptional job, cause it is quite hard to make me look somewhat decent when a good camera makes me look more weird than I normally am.
Knowing he probably got a nice 'pensive' shot of me staring out into the empty space which I can already see being shared with a black and white filter on it, I stare right at the camera and pull a stupid face as he clicks away. He laughs, taking more pictures as I pull off a few more ridiculous poses. The sound of feedback running through the room's speakers ring out and everyone moans or swears appropriately until it's cut out.
Connor appears with my favourite guitar in hand and a few cables. I use the same guitars Ed Sheeran used to use, the Little Martin series; funnily enough not because he used them, but because their smaller size made it easier for me to take them back and forth around the UK when I was playing gigs at any venue which would take me.
Their size was also great for me, cause my fingers aren't as long as a lot of the musicians I've met and I used to struggle fretting all my chords, but these guitars were perfect for me. I name my guitars too, I've only got 2 as that's all I could afford at the moment. One's called April; named after the month I saw Ed Sheeran live and my life changed, and the other weirdly, I realise now, is called Noah.
Connor has the one labelled 'Noah' in his hand as he hooks it up to the loop pedal and runs the microphones cables around the stands and into the pedal too.
'Go play with your toys kiddo.' Cade grins as he sees me eying up the guitar.
I started out having to learn how to set up all my equipment for a gig alone, but like everything else it's so surreal that I now have a team of people who help take care of it for me. I approach Connor, who notices me coming over and holds out the guitar.
I grab hold of the familiar shape and I feel the confidence and happiness it gives me flowing through me, as cheesy as that sounds. I fling the strap over my shoulder, feeling the weight of the guitar as it rests on my body. I instinctively adjust the collar of my shirt in an attempt to hide part of my binder, even though nobody in this room would care about seeing it.
'I've given you a new set of strings after you nearly shredded the old set in your last gig. We decided that it counts on the list.'
Connor's talking about the whiteboard he and the guitar techs have been carrying around since we've been on tour. It's got a tally mark for every time I've snapped a set of strings in the middle of a performance, which happens a lot more than I like to admit. What can I say, I really get into the music when I'm playing and end up going a little hard on my guitars. I glare at Connor with mock anger.
'Seriously? That doesn't count, I didn't snap them onstage.'
'They would've snapped if the set was longer. So consider it a preemptive mark.'
He pats me on the back, heading off backstage to probably tend to my other guitar or to rig the whiteboard again with lies.
'Give it a go!' Cade shouts as they get a thumbs up from one of the stage hands holding a series of cables.
I notice Quinn out of the corner of my eye, getting ready to take some shots. It doesn't matter though, I'm focused on the loop pedal at my feet. All the familiar lights on the beaten pedal are turned on, and everything looks good. I slap down on a pedal with my vans, and make a simple beat by slapping my hand against my guitar. I'm just testing out the speakers for the people running the sound booth tonight, to make sure I don't blow the speakers like I did in one of the gigs last month.
Satisfied that the beat is coming out fine, I add a little riff over the top with my guitar, before strumming out some louder chords over the top. I look up from the pedal and see Cade nodding. I move to the final test, looping vocals. I move towards the second mic which is always on my left, and make a simple loop of me going up some vocal scales. After letting it run for a bit, I look off to the left of the stage and see Connor in the wings with his headphones on - he gives me a thumbs up, which means the test is complete. I double tap the stop pedal to stop all the running loops and stand in the silence a little breathless.
The acoustics in here are amazing. I can't wait to see the place filled tonight, and the atmosphere that'll come with it. I find myself secretly hoping that Noah enjoys it more than anyone else, and I don't know why.
I slip the guitar off of my shoulder and it's immediately scooped up by Connor, who retreats back into his den backstage. Cade is done talking with the other stage hands and comes over to me.
'Well they're all happy with everything so if you're fine do you want to go back to the hotel? Maybe get some rest before the gig.'
I nod, Cade once again reading my mind. Getting no sleep cause of my mental health last night is starting to catch up to me, and I want to be as alert as possible for the gig tonight. And for some reason, Noah.
Cade downs the rest of their coffee, and I see the familiar twitch coming back. I normally get nervous right before a gig, and I can only imagine what they're going to be like as we get closer to the start of the gig at 8pm. I doubt Cade will be doing much sleeping with the caffeine going through their veins.
Quinn joins us, throwing a similar worried look at Cade before he looks to me.
'Do you mind if I crash in your room for a bit? I won't be making much noise so you can sleep, I wanna offload these pictures and edit some from the last gig before tonight.'
'Sure thing.'
An afternoon with Quinn is fine, even if I'm going to be sleeping. With both of us being best friends already, I'm more than happy for him to be in my room. I'll just have to make sure I don't roll my sleeves up, or that he catches a sight of what I've done. He thinks I'm still clean and I'm not ready to unload this on him yet, especially as he's going through similar mental health problems of his own.
'Get going then you two, your Uber is waiting outside. I'll see you in the hotel reception at 6pm so we can take an Uber together back here.'
We both nod, heading for the exit. As I step back out into the natural light on the street, I turn around and stare up at the sign blaring my name across the front of the building. I don't think I'll ever get used to seeing that. Click!
Quinn must've taken a picture from behind of me staring up at the sign with my name on it. I bet he'll get a bunch of likes on that on his instagram for how 'poignant' it is. He clambers into the waiting Uber and I join him, the excitement and nerves starting to properly build now.