"So... what's behind tab 5?"
"Let's call it...miscellaneous."
"You're kidding", Dean's jaw drops between either Bobby and I "You just let him go off by himself?" Unable to argue with Dean I give a meek shrug from where I'm now stood clean in the study archway, Bobby perched sheepish on the couch as Dean's stunned gaze flickers accusingly between us. Settling on me Dean crosses his arms "How could you let him El? I asked you to protect him-"
"Yeah" I cut Dean off, lowing the towel I'd been shaking through my never ending wet hair "But it's pretty difficult to protect someone who felt sick every time they looked you in the eye." Dean tilts his head but I remain adamantly silent. It makes me feel wrecked by guilt knowing that I'd been hurting Sam just by being around.
Dean watches me carefully soaking up the information we're enlightening him with "Sam couldn't stand her being around." My gaze averts to the floor and away from Dean's when Bobby adds "El was a permanent reminder of you. They ran together for a month before it became too much for the boy and he split."
Noticing Dean's gaze wander worriedly between us I roll my eyes. Stepping back down the hall I send Dean a small tilt of my head. His footsteps echoing after me I lead him back to my childhood room. Although it's no longer got Katie and I's beds inside. Honestly when I peer back and see Dean's eyes widen a fraction I don't blame him. It's overwhelming. Sure it's not iron plated like the room below my feet but it still appears rather... unhinged. Stacks of lore and notes lay sprawled over the desks I moved into here and strewn messily over the floor. Artefact's I'd hidden across the country are crammed into boxes stacked so high they almost reach my head. Curse boxes scattered through the room from the piled artefact cases to the skyscrapers of books. Stepping further into the erratic mess I linger in the doorway watching Dean's attention flickering around the erratic warding I've scribbled over my old canary bedroom walls. Markings I've come fleetingly across praying they'd be useful and not just another dead end. It's a lot to take in so when he finally glances back at me with a hung jaw I don't flinch under the scrutiny. Wandering into the room I thoughtfully gesture around "All of this is my failed attempt to bring you back. Cause if I brought you back maybe Sam would come back too. I could have my torn up family back."
"El-"
"Don't look at me like that" I try to shake off the pity Dean's gazing at me with.
Furrowing his brows I watch Dean try to hide it "Like what?"
"Like Bobby has been staring at me for months", I say with my attention flickering briefly to the whisky bottles scattered on the curse boxes which had belonged to Bobby. Dean's attention flickering over the empty bottles surprised, I add quietly "Losing you was tough on everyone."
"Yeah" Dean hums thoughtfully to himself "I'm beginning to get that." Suddenly reverting his attention from the walls he's been gazing carefully over Dean gets a look on his face I can only describe as confusion. Gesturing to himself, Dean asks "Why is my body not burned?" Shifting my weight uneasily Dean reasons stubbornly despite my reluctance when it finally clicks "El you guys were meant to burn me." I don't answer because I'm fairly sure from just one glance around this room he can understand why. We never gave Dean a Hunter's funeral because Sam and I had clung to the hope we could save Dean. That we could bring him back from Hell in spite of the horrible odds stacked against us. In a small voice my hands find their way into the pockets of my hoodie "Dean I had to burn my sisters body. I was there with you boys when we burned John's body." Dean's stubborn stare softening, I meekly shrug "Sam and I couldn't do it. We just... couldn't."
Slowly nodding Dean seems to be trying to wrap his head around what I'm telling him "So... So you don't know where Sam is?"
A small chuckle falling from my lips, I correct him "I never said that." Dean tilting his head, I wander past "Sam bolted from me but it doesn't mean I abandoned him."
"How the does that work?"
Reaching my desk I pick up the yellow lever arch binder, twirl around and smack it into Dean's chest. His eyes widening he takes it off my hands when I say "Because Bobby and I have a ton of friends."
"Ironically", Dean mutters following back after me into Bobby's study. Wandering around to collapse into Bobby's chair Dean thumbs at the coloured tabs. Perching myself on the corner, Dean questions as Bobby pops the lid of his beer with a hiss "What is all this?"
"Each number represents Sam's movements for each month you've been gone", I explain, counting off on my fingers "Talking motel receipts, credit card statements, surveillance camera's in streets, reactivated alias's." Dean shooting me an impressed look, I mention "Like I said. Friends. You told me to watch out and protect Sam so that's what I've been doing." As Dean begins flicking through the pages of loose paper I've organised on Sam's movements across America, Dean questions "So what's behind tab 5?"
Green eyes flickering curiously up to me, I dismissively wave it off "Let's call it...miscellaneous." Dean seems to buy it as he returns to the paper and cyber trail I've pulled together on his brother. Truth is there's something happening with Sam but I can't put it together. Taking out a vamp nest on your own is one thing. Yet following Sam's trail every now and again has been what I can only describe as a mass exorcism of Demon's. Which of course could be explainable... if the ground below the host wasn't left charred and sparking. That isn't normal. Even by supernatural standards.
"You got tabs on where he is now?" Dean asks thumbing through the fourth month, "I tried calling from a pay phone but his cells are disconnected."
"He disconnected his burners to throw me off his scent" I mention reaching over to flip to the front of the month "But it's Sam. He's the pot who called the kettle black."
Finding the list of crossed out names, Dean settles on the lone one half way down the list "Wedge Antiles?"
Smugly, I crack a smile from where I'm perched "It's a character from Star Wars who joined the Rebel Alliance seeking revenge after his girlfriend had been murdered by the Imperials."
Disappointment etching into Dean's features, Dean groans "Oh you freakin nerds."
"Perhaps", I roll my eyes, dropping off the desk "But this nerd knows your brother checked into 263 Adams Road, Pontiac Illinois last night." When a curious look passes over Dean's face my smug smile drops. Realisation kicking in, I wonder "You don't think Sam's-"
"Sam shows up in the same town I was planted right as I'm yanked out of Hell?" Dean suggests uneasily, rising to his feet "Pretty big coincidence don't you think?"
"The dots are certainly there", Bobby agrees gruffy behind me with a beer in hand, scepticism etched into his worn features leaning against the old peeling wall "Wouldn't go as far as to call it a coincidence."
"You should've seen the gravesite", Dean worriedly presses and I find myself tuning in more intently "It was like a nuke went off. And then there was this... this..." Silently I watch Dean trying to wrap his head around what sounds like his eventful past twenty four hours, hand waving to make the words flow "This force. This presence." He must've notices Bobby and I staring at Dean incredulously because he brushes off "I-I don't know but it blew right past me at this fill-up joint- and then this..." Wandering around the desk I feel my brows furrowing curiously when Dean rolls up his t-shirt sleeve.
Pressed around his shoulder is a rather large burn mark. However that's not what has me staring at it wondrously. It's the fact the burn mark looks like a hand. A human hand. Disbelief written across my face Bobby mutters absurdly "What in the hell..."
"It was like a Demon just yanked me out", Dean shrugs, dropping the sleeve just as clueless "Or rode me out."
"How sure are you it's a Demon?" I question Dean, quickly pointing out when he rolls his shoulders defensively "Not saying it wasn't but if a Demon did haul your ass out they would've had to surpass a Greater Demon in bounds and leaps. Or something that matches that extent."
"I'm pretty damn sure it was a Demon" Dean adamantly shakes his head, "I mean Sam shows up in the same town and from the way you attacked me when I walked through that door I take it you weren't the one who made the deal."
"I wish", I scoff resentfully, my hands folding across my chest at what Dean's insinuating "You recon Sam's made a deal to get you back?"
Bringing his arms up, Dean agrees sharply "It's what I would've done."
Silently I revert my gaze from Dean over to Bobby. Sending him a suggestive look, Bobby sighs. Planting his beer on the study desk with a clink, Bobby mutters "Looks like I'm finding my keys."
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Arriving in Iowa late that night I'll admit... we've hunkered down in tackier places. Dingy walls, pinstripe wallpaper, framed paintings of flowers- I mean it's almost a normal level of tacky. Wandering down the doors of hearts searching for 207 Bobby mentions, leading the way in this narrow corridor "I think Dean you should hang back. Ease Sam into this."
My unenthusiastic chuckle gains both their curious gazes. Flicking between them both, I absurdly roll my eyes "How do you suppose we do that? Hey Sam. Long-time no see. You're brothers back from Hell. How might you ask? Well apparently death didn't stick."
Whilst Bobby dead stares me, Dean slowly tilts his head back to the man "She aint wrong." As if sensing my spike in confidence, Dean quickly waves his hand out to shut me up "Don't get me wrong El you put that awfully but she's got a point. Just gotta rip the band aid off."
"And hope Sam doesn't try to take your head with it" I mention, reaching past the pair to rap against the shiny heart on the door of 207 "Because he's gonna react one way or another." Even though we've agreed to just give it to Sam straight I still edge myself between the pair to stand in front of Dean with Bobby. Call it a precaution.
The door swinging open I raise my eyebrows at the sight of the girl stood in the doorway. Brunette locks fall down the back of this shirt wearing girl, framing her young features as she gazes back at us in wonder. My gaze flickers to the lack of pants she's wearing for a moment before she voices "So... where is it?"
While I can't tear my eyes away surprised, Dean questions unsure "Where's what?"
"The pizza?" She expectantly drawls "What it takes three of you to deliver it now?"
"I think you got the wrong room" Dean hushly whispers into my ear.
Smacking his hand away, I mutter back "No I don't. I'm sure of it."
And my insurance just waltzes right outta the bathroom. Hair still wet enough to mop the floors with Sam shakes it out in his jeans and bachelor button up. "Hey is..." his brown eyes lose their spark momentarily when they lock with mine. I merely offer Sam a small smile after the time which has passed between us seeing each other. There have been phones calls but that is never the same. To have someone in front of you is a whole other type of connection.
So when Sam finally rests his gaze on Dean I can see the cogs spinning in his head. Shock fills his eyes and I have half a mind to belief Sam's going to go into a panic attack right before my eyes. "Hey Sammy" Dean breathes behind me as I remain carefully between the pair. As we enter the room ourselves Sam remains silent and still. Skeptically I watch Sam closely as he stares blatantly at Dean. I can't tell if this is better or worse than how I reacted. At least I responded.
Yet my protective hovering is proved necessary when Sam suddenly snaps. Yanking out a knife I quickly grab Sam's long arm that goes slashing for Dean's throat. Short enough to twirl under his giant arm I swing Sam around with all the strength I can muster. I mean the guys a walking tree. Slamming into the plaster with a painful grunt, Sam growls struggling against me "Eleanor who the hell is that!"
"Oh like you don't know!" I hear Dean yelling with just as much accusation in his tone "Like you didn't do this!"
Sam rolls himself round against the wall I'm shoving him against in a struggle, Bobby hovering a few feet behind me as I handle Sam. With erratic wide eyes, Sam squints furiously "Do what!"
"Sam!"
"No!"
"Sam!"
"No! No!"
Slamming his wrist back against the wall with all my body weight, I yell over his erratic cries "Sam eyes here!" Reluctantly ceasing his thrashing, I stress adamantly "I've been through this. It's Dean." Sam continuing to stare at me I can see he's trying to not have hope. He's trying to not believe. But something in the way I stare back at him must be forcing a crack in that resolve because his hard exterior deteriorates right before my eyes. Laxing my grasp it falls cautiously from his wrist and chest. Taking a carefully step way from Sam, I steadily repeat "It really is him Sam."
Briefly his gaze flickers between me and Bobby before resting back on Dean. Despite the struggle leaving his body Sam still doesn't seem like he's believing what's in front of him. Months without his brother and suddenly Dean shows up. It's strange. "What..." breathing the word Sam meekly shakes his head utterly lost.
"I know" Dean bravely steps closer to his brother with a plastered smile on his nervous lips "I look fantastic don't I?" That remark alone affirms what Sam's been desperate to believe. On the verge of tears Sam steps over and Dean yanks him into his arms, Sam wrapping his arms around his brother in a desperate hug. A smile of my own dancing on my lips I step back and rest my head on Bobby's shoulder. His hand curling around my shoulders I cant help but admire my small reunited family for a moment. Good things don't last for us. If I know anything it's that.
Sam holds Dean at arms length for a long moment before his bright eyed gaze spins back to me. I cant recall the last time I saw Sam with a smile. After what had happened to Dean I could even pull a pity smile outta him. So when he watches me with his soft doe eyes I feel my heart swell with joy. Stepping over Sam eagerly envelops me in his embrace. Constricted my his arms I latch mine around his large frame. Stood on the tips of my toes to nuzzle my head into Sam's neck, my voice shakes a little when I hum "I missed you."
Sam's head dips bashfully further into my shoulder, lowly murmuring "I'm sorry El."
"Its okay" I peek my eyes open to catch a small glimpse of Dean watching us, hands stuffed into his pockets with a fond smile "I understood."
And I truly mean it.
"I'm... I'm so lost" stepping out of Sam's embrace I peer over to the young girl who's stood in the doorway with a dumbfounded look. Waving her index finger towards us the girl asks "Who are you people."
With one awkward glance around the vibrant red room, velvet heart shaped bed and mirrored ceiling I tease "You gonna tell her to leave Casanova? Or should we take your resurrected brother back outside?" When nobody replies I trail my gaze back around to see Sam watching me rather unimpressed, finishing the buttons on his half done shirt.
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"So... call me?"
"Yeah... yeah sure thing Kathy."
"...Kristy."
"...Right." Catching Sam's eye as he closes the door on the disappointed young girl, he points out crossing the room "Don't give me that arched eyebrow El."
Not at all dropping it, I hum insincerely "I'm not sure what you mean."
Sitting himself on the heart shaped velvet bed Sam reaches to tie his boots not at all affected by our suspicious gazes. Glancing up to Bobby and Sam they watch him just as carefully. Whilst Bobby's leaning in the bathroom doorframe Dean uncrosses his arms "Tell me what'd cost?"
"The girl?" Sam chuckles amusingly "I don't pay Dean."
"Not funny Sam", Dean hard demanding resolve doesn't crack an inch "To bring me back. What'd cost?"
"Me?" Sam repeats what Dean's telling him. What we're all thinking. So imagine my surprise when Sam tilts his head towards me "I thought this was you?"
Not quite buying it I tilt my head the smallest of inches. Silently my stubborn gaze watches the way Sam smoothly ties his shoe laces, his attention flickering between the three of us. Hand on my hip I mention to Sam "If this had been me you'd have been my first call and you know it." Snagging his gaze with mine, I adamantly press "Did this cost you your soul or something worse?"
Sam does a double take but none of us budge. If Sam's done something we need to know and we need to know yesterday. Scoffing, Sam understands "You guys think I made a deal?"
"That's exactly what we think" Bobby voices when both Dean and I remain scornfully silent.
"Well I didn't", Sam shifts his weight on the bed.
"Don't lie to me" Dean takes an intimidating step forwards, his gaze intently glued to Sam who I'm watching closely.
"I'm not lying."
"So what now? I'm off the hook and you're on? You some Demon's bitch-boy?" Dean tries to yank the answer from Sam who's averting his gaze under Dean's stare "I didn't want to be saved like this."
"Look Dean" Sam rises swiftly to his feet, sharply snapping "I wish I had done it- alright?"
When Dean yanks Sam closer by the front of his shirt I don't make a move to intervene "There's no other way this could've gone down- I saw the mess El made in Bobby's house. There's no other way this could've gone down. Now tell the truth!"
"I tried everything!" Sam shoves Dean's hands off his shirt, "That's the truth. I took El straight to The Devils Gate- hell I even tried bargaining but no Demon would deal alright?" With an erratic shake of his head, Sam waves his arm around as if to make his case more clear "You were rotting in Hell for months Dean. For months and I couldn't stop it." Suddenly the room becomes rather quiet and I find myself pinching the bridge of my nose. It wasn't Sam. Whilst I'm beyond glad we're to going to go through that crap all over again it begs questions I just don't have the answer to. Quietly, Sam says to his brother "I'm sorry it wasn't me Dean. I thought it was El but..." Peering up I see Sam watching me sadly "Obviously not. I'm sorry Dean."
With the realisation that Sam's not the one who yanked him out of the pit, Dean waves off Sam's apology. "It's alright Sammy", Dean relents "You don't have to apologise. I believe you."
"Well since it wasn't Sam it begs the question", I voice when the room falls tensely silent, shifting my weight from one foot to another "Who yanked Dean out of Hell?"