Tati P.O.V
I felt like a lost soul actually. There was so much fear in me. I was scared of the possibility of getting kidnapped again. I always thought that hiring security was a waste of time. Now, I had one stationed at the front door and in front of the building. Tristan made sure that two more guards followed me wherever I went. My passion for collecting cars was a waste cause I refused to drive myself anywhere. Tristan got me a Hummer and let me use his Rolls Royce so his drivers drove me around.
Even after a month, I still slept with the lights on, snuggled with Zeus while Tristan kept his distance while on the same bed. Today though, I was going to just get out of my shell. I didn't want to keep burdening Tristan by dragging him through my bullshit I was going through. I've been scouting around for an apartment, for a fresh new start. My current one being next to Logan's and everything was still traumatizing.
Opting for a more low key styled place, there was one that was just perfect. It had a cozy feeling with warmer colors. My current apartment was great, but it didn't feel like a home. Being in the center of New York could be overwhelming sometimes. I found one that was just outside and was beautiful.
Obviously Tristan didn't know what I was doing. Anthony was handling the moving of my stuff and I was holding Zeus in my arms. I was going to miss this ball of fur and of course, his master. Even though Tristan and me hardly bonded, I just knew that I fell for him.
Never being the one to believe in love at first sight, but my gut was so sure this time. The last boxes from my room were taken out and Tristan walked out. He was in his suit, his tie was loosened and the first button was undone. His hair was ruffled. I could tell he had a long day in the office. It wasn't easy for sure cause he had to clean up the mess Logan had done to the company.
"What the hell is going on?" he asked confused.
"Umm I-- I-- I'm moving out." I looked away from him.
"Are you serious? What the hell for?!" he was frustrated. He moved into the kitchen area where I was standing.
I took a deep breath and just spilled everything out " I feel like I'm dragging you down with me. I'm just not in a good place. I don't want to burden you anymore even though you told me you'll always be here for me. I want to see you be happy and live again. Something I can't bring myself to do. I need to straighten myself out." when I was done, I realized that I was squashing Zeus a little too hard from the talk.
"You're really not going to believe me when I said I'd really be there for you were you?" he said quietly.
"It's not that I don't want to. I'm trying really hard. But I need to just sort my life out. I need to learn to accept the fact that I can't trust many people. I just need to heal. To heal I must feel." he didn't look at me now. He just stared blankly out the window.
"If you insist then. When are you leaving?" his voice was no longer the warm caring sexy voice. It was cold and emotionless.
"Soon actually. The last box just went out. This place is all yours now." I quipped.
He merely shook his head and went into his room. Setting Zeus onto the floor, I walked into his room.
"Tristan, please don't be mad at me. I just want you to understand why I'm doing this. I won't be this way forever.I-- I really like you even though you might not like me." I tried not to cry when I said that.
"There's no point if I say anything cause you're just going to believe me. And I'll never be mad at you Tatiana." he walked over and hugged me.
I loved his hugs it gave me so much pleasure in the sense that I felt so safe cause I was engulfed by his body. His smell was sexy as hell. He was rubbing his hands up and down my back in an effort to comfort me but it was just making me want to bite him so I pulled back.
He held my hand and sat me on his bed " I want to give you something." he whispered.
How could I say no to those blue eyes? He slid the drawer next to his bed open and pulled out a silver chain which had my ring looped into it. "It's alright if you don't want to wear it. But I just want you to have it to remember me."
"Put it on for me?" I turned so my back faced him and lifted my hair up. He clasped it on and did the most unexpected the thing ever. He gently kissed the crook of my neck. I bit my lip trying to conceal the fact that I loved that and wanted him to do it again. To my joy, he did. He trailed the kisses from the base of my neck to my ears.
My breathing grew heavier as he continued kissing my neck. He obviously knew my weak spots. I turned around and sat on his lap and removed his coat. Copying his earlier actions, I kissed the side of his neck also. His breaths grew shorter also which I took as a good sign. Removing his coat, I then Unbuttoned his shirt and removed it, revealing his toned sexy body.
Greedily, I ran my hands over his perfectly sculpted abs and I trailed my finger to the waistband of his pants.
"Don't start something you can't finish Tatiana," he whispered into my ears.
"Who said I can't?" I nipped his ear playfully.
His hands pulled my blouse out of my shorts and he slipped under them. While his hands started roaming around under my shirt I let out my frustration by biting his neck gently then sucking the skin making it turn a deep purple. He groaned with pleasure.
Finally, he kissed me gently and I let out a sigh. It was perfect. His lips were so deliciously soft. I bit his lip gently and tugged on it. When I pulled back I gave him a mischevious smile. That's when things turned hot in a blink of an eye.
He pulled my shirt off and instead of just sitting on his lap, I was straddling him. I could feel him grow by the second and I moaned at the thought of actually sleeping with him. But then, he stopped kissing and I nearly begged him to continue.
"We can't do this Tatiana. I don't want to be the only one between us who has actual feelings. You're just in a bad place like you said." he stroked my cheek softly.
I was stunned. Most guys would have loved the fact that I was throwing myself at them. All I could do was just shake my head. I got off him and picked my shirt off the floor. I slipped it back on and went to the mirror to adjust myself.
I couldn't help but stare at myself. For the first time, I had a glow to my face and my lips were red from all the kissing. I hadn't realized that he gave me a hickey also. My chain glistened brightly and it did make me feel happy. Tristan leaned against the door frame and said: "You're absolutely beautiful you know?"
All I could do was smile. I wanted to say something but before I could, Zeus started barking and we heard Anthony calling for me.
"I guess you'll have to go now?" he asked me.
"Yea. I do." he gave way so I could leave his room.
"There you are. I've been waiting forev-- Oh.. never mind." he winked at me. I rolled my eyes knowing that he was going to make a big deal out of it when we were alone.
"Are you sure you've gotten everything?" he asked again.
"Yes, mom. Don't worry about it." I pushed him out and turned around to face Tristan once again.
"I guess I'll see you around Tristan?" I asked hesitantly not knowing what else to say. I really didn't want to let go of him but at the same time, I couldn't be so heartless and pull him into my problems.
"Of course cara. I'll be here whenever you need me. I'll be around. See you soon." he came over and hugged me once again. I smiled into his chest and took it all in one more time. Who knew when was the next time I would see him? I really wanted to be an independent woman and not some emotional lovesick puppy.
Before I pulled away, he whispered "You'll have to finish what you started some day. I don't like unfinished business." he smirked and let go of me.
I gave him a coy smile and left. Zeus was barking like a mad dog probably cause he could sense that I was leaving the apartment for good.
"I'll miss you boy." I ruffled his soft fur and waved goodbye to Tristan again.
When I got into the car the first thing Anthony said was "Please tell me you at least shagged that fine piece of work before you left!!"
"No, I didn't. But we made out like teenagers gone wild that's for sure." I laughed.
I felt better already and I knew that from now on, I wouldn't let anything get in my way.
TWO MONTHS LATER
"ATHENA! GET BACK HERE YOUNG LADY. DON'T RUN AWAY WITH MY SHOES!!" I chased after my dog. Yes, I got my own dog because I missed Zeus so much. I decided to get a Bernese mountain dog instead. Currently, she had run away with one of my new Yves Saint Laurent shoes. She skidded to a stop when the front door opened and Anthony stepped in with a bag of groceries. She dropped my shoes and followed him into the kitchen.
"Don't think I'm done with you Athena!!" I yelled again while Tony spoilt her with treats. I was getting ready for my first day back at work with Victoria's Secret. I decided it was time to get back even though they told me to take as much time as I wanted to. But who was I kidding? I was supposed to open for this year's show and I was praying I could get back int shape and convince the management that I could have it back.
Anthony drove me around everywhere now because I felt safer with him as well as the two bodyguards who were always with me. Heck, they even lived on the ground floor of the building I was living in. As we got into my Hummer, my phone buzzed.
Hello cara, how are you?
I couldn't help but smile. He texted me every week asking me how I was. The day I moved out, that same night, I couldn't sleep. I had nightmares and ended up crying all the time. That happened for 3 weeks in a row. I refused to ask him to come over because I knew that I needed to face the demons alone. Eventually, I resorted into the only way I knew, which was good old fashioned prayer before I fell asleep and every time I woke up. Up till now, I've never had a single bad dream.
As for things with Tristan, it was fairly static. After the last day with him at the apartment, I never saw him. I knew he was busy with restoring the company and also. I saw him on the news quite a bit. He was on the news channels like CNN and also on E! News. I hated it when I saw some skank latched onto his arm at an event.
Not to mention, it was a different skank each time not to forget. I'm not ashamed to admit that I am in fact very jealous.
I'm better. On my way for a meeting with VS.
I hit the send button and focused on what Tony was saying.
"If you want to take more time off we can arrange it. There's always next year.--"
"Don't worry about it doll. I'm ready for it. I just feel ready." I smiled at him. My phone buzzed again.
That's great news. So.. by any chance will I be getting front row seats? ;)
I burst out laughing at that. Tony sent me a knowing smile which I ignored.
Depends. You seem to be pretty involved with many ladies...
Within a few moments, I got a reply.
You know who I really want.
All I could do was stare at that. I was pretty sure I was blushing like hell.
Do I? Gotta go big boy. See you around. xxxxxx
What else could I say to that? We arrived at the casting building and I couldn't help but smile. It was like returning home. As I stepped into the building and then into the room, everyone was clapping and hugging me.
Finally, we sat down with the managing directors. I had convinced them to let me resume the plan. I was set to open the show and also wear the million dollar bra. They quickly got me into fittings and it was super nice to be reunited with the girls. Candice was there looking fabulous as ever.
After everything was over, Tony stopped by a dim sum shop because I was hungry as ever. To my surprise, Kia and Stacey were there too!
"Wazzap bitchhh! This is a mini party for you!" Stacey shouted and the whole shop looked at us. Embarrassing as ever but that's why I love her.
"We thought it was time we rewarded you for being so brave!" Kia smiled and hugged me.
"Thank you, guys! Is it alright if my bodyguards joined us? I'm pretty sure they are starving too!" I pointed to the two huge men who stood at the entrance of the swanky Chinese shop.
"You never told us your bodyguards were so.. edible." to my surprise, Kia said that.
"They are? Huh. Funny, I just don't look at them that way." I waved them over.
"Understandable. Now give me their names." Stacey said. She and Kia decided on which ones they wanted and by the time Steve and Paul came over, the girls managed to charm them.
Once that was done, we finally went home. As I opened my door, Athena came running to me like she always did.
"Hello, mummy's love. I missed you too booboo." I smothered her.
Locking up everything, I went into my room. I couldn't help but wonder what Tristan was up to. I took out my phone and contemplated giving him a ring.
"Should I call him? Maybe I shouldn't. It'll seem too desperate. Right?" I looked at Athena. I always wondered if she could understand me. She usually had her head quirked to one side when I talk to her. As if she really did understand. Deciding against it, I took a shower, and said my prayers and had a wonderful sleep.
Things were finally looking up for me.
A/N : The end is near! What are your thoughts? Vote?