"Sister, you got your title back and," Chang Ying stopped to give me a reassuring pat on my shoulder. "Chen Xi was executed a few hours ago."
Although Chen Xi betrayed me, it still stung to know that she no longer served me. Or was no longer able to serve me. I developed a certain uncomfortable feeling about her. I told my maids to never bring up her name again.
A part of me knows that she'll forever be in my memory. She had to do what she had to do, and I couldn't blame her for her priorities. But I don't think I'll forgive her.
The Emperor attempted to visit me, but I told him I needed time. I did plan on seeing him. It was like my slight interest in the Emperor vanished, but circulated in thin air like a cloud forming above my head. He had done this to me twice and it would take a while to fully recover from this, but the person who needed me now was Guan Shu. After days of grief and sorrowful tears, she finally lifted herself back up. She hasn't fully recovered yet; the death of a loved one takes years to overcome, but I was proud that she didn't let Rong Er's death impede her services.
Chang Ying had her arm around me, leaning closer to my face. "I hope you're not too upset that that maid is gone..."
Before I could answer, Guan Shu quickly stood up to adjust my hairpins. She faced both of us in glee. "I'm just happy that both of you, and Su Yin were keen enough to successfully get everything back to normal again."
"Thank you, Guan Shu," Chang Ying nodded before clasping her hand between Guan Shu's hand. "And I am sorry for the loss of Rong Er. It must be very hard for you, isn't it?"
"Yes," Guan Shu whispered, still holding onto the glee on her face but it started to fade. "I'm getting better, Your Grace."
"Milady, would you like some tea?" Feng Xi lowered the tray in front of me, shakingly putting it down on the table.
She was my replacement maid. Another person to replace Chen Xi. Hopefully, this one doesn't end up betraying me. She stood five feet tall with a casual frown on her face most of the time. Feng Xi was timid, never speaking up and she fearfully introduced herself the first time. My maids except for Guan Shu and Chen Xi, tend to treat me like I was a terrorizing monster. Feng Xi was way off from Chen Xi.
I shouldn't have been upset. I know I shouldn't be at all, but Chen Xi was an entertaining woman. She betrayed me—I was literally stuck in the Cold Palace for days.
Yet I still missed her presence.
Turning away my thoughts, I cleared my throat before sipping the freshly brewed tea. It warmed me up so quickly that my negative thoughts dissolved. It was quite early in the morning. It was only a few minutes ago that I was greeting the Empress.
The Emperor would have had his court meetings during this hour. If I took a small walk in the gardens, I don't think I'd see anyone—especially the Emperor.
I eyed myself closely in the mirror. This was not the woman a day ago. The fresh, glowing appearance, the cleanliness, the elegance, the adornment, and the beautiful attire I was now possessing, was finally me. God forbid that I go through all of that again.
It was not only the appearance that I missed, but I did miss my maids. I did miss Su Yin and Chang Ying. There was no doubt that I would rather face Niu Lin every day than stay in the Cold Palace for another week. That's how bad it was. The only thing that I missed in the imprisonment was the company of Jaxon. I had that every day. It was far too easy for him to sneak in. He stayed away from the spotlight and didn't join the army that fought every other week in this place.
I immediately heard the animated environment as soon as I stepped outside. The ecosystem was in full bloom. A bird swiftly zoomed passed my eye, soaring up into the cloudless sky. Hua Er casually walked next to me, squinting her eyes.
My eyes were also adjusting to the light. It was a beautiful day outside, no doubt about it, and I couldn't help but laugh. While Hua Er and I walked, I continued to laugh, even pausing my step to take a whiff of fresh air. Then bursting in uncontrollable laughter. My maids in the back, looked at each other in confusion but smiled earnestly at my outburst.
Hua Er chuckled hesitantly, as perplexed as my maids, but I continued to laugh. My eyes closed and all I could see was red. My mouth was wide open, continuously producing the sounds of amusement and pure joy.
"Milady, are you alright?" Snoopy asked.
I opened my eyes and looked at her. She looked at me with her eyebrows slanting up, her tone sounded as concerned as everyone around me.
After one last giggle, I gave a nod. "I don't know! Just, after all of this! After all of the bewildering punishment I received and—I don't know! After everything! I'm still alive! I'm free, I'm—"
It was Guan Shu's turn to slightly laugh, gradually increasing each time her throat emitted noise. We both looked stupid. We both looked as if we took herb hallucinogens and were finally feeling the effects of it.
Pure liberation; the breath of fresh air was not enough to fill me up.
"You two are going crazy," Hua Er shook her head, smiling. "But I like to see you happy, Guan Shu."
Guan Shu sighed with relief and shook her head, still holding a bright smile. "Ah, it feels good to be happy."
We walked silently after the chaotic thrills of laughter until resting upon a large pavilion. The sun was shining and we sought shade.
"But this is only what I've heard! You must keep this a secret or else—" an Imperial Concubine was shaking her hands frantically, her eyes widened without a blink and her eyebrows were almost reaching her forehead.
"What secret?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow in intrigue. I strutted towards them. The sunlight was gone from my face, and now, it was duller under the roof.
Almost instantly, the girls turned to look at me. Their eyes widened, and they bowed hesitantly. They stayed in their place even after seconds.
The Imperial Concubine shook her head, I could see her lips trembling. Her head was dipped, and her eyes avoided mine. "Lady Ying Yue... I-I'm not allowed to—"
"Why not?" I asked as I smoothly folded my arms across my chest. They looked as if they'd seen a ghost, and I couldn't blame them. It felt as if everyone was out to get me at all times. I knew it was wrong but I was unable to push back the thought that they were gossiping about me.
Another one of the concubines whispered in her ear. The Imperial Concubine looked up at me. All of them fixed their posture. They looked and remained neutral towards me.
"W-Well, I overheard that one of the officials is going to get rid of His Majesty," the Imperial Concubine paused before speaking again, "But, I might have had the wrong context..."
She looked at me, waiting for my response. She looked like she was lost in my face when she stared at me. I got a little creeped out. I walked closer to her. "What did he say? Word for word."
"He said 'I will make sure His Majesty will pay! He will be gone...' and that's all I heard." the Imperial Concubine spoke, almost mumbling the phrase at the end. She was afraid of if I disciplined her for lying, or not speaking up sooner. I could sense it.
She cleared her throat. "I-I was wondering if I should tell His Majesty... Maybe he'll notice me if I inform him..."
The harem was a competition.
"Hm," I rubbed my chin, resting my elbow on my arm. "We'll see what happens during the banquet. I am sure it was a higher-ranking official, and he will be here this evening. But, let's keep this between us, do I make myself clear?"
"Yes." the Imperial Concubine nodded, and the other girls followed.
I smiled. "I will see you then."
"Today's meal tastes amazing, Mother," the Emperor said, slightly smiling.
Nothing out of the ordinary has happened, yet. Everybody was cheerful. It was eventful and positive, many of us were happily joining conversations with each other. Even I was getting along with everyone for once. The roasted duck tasted amazing. Either it was truly good, or that I just haven't had good food for a long time.
"Yes, it does. Grant the chef ten taels of silver!" the Empress Dowager demanded, and the eunuchs nodded almost instantly.
"Your Majesty! May I present a toast later?" a higher official spoke, laughing joyfully at a joke that the man next to him had cracked earlier. I didn't mean to be judgemental, but he did look suspicious.
I felt a gentle nudge on the right of my arm, but I continued to fix my eyes on him, even trying to hear his conversation with the Emperor. It was too loud, too chaotic. Someone was calling my name on the side.
"Hm?" I continued to stare at the man and carried my way to look at the Emperor. While observing every scene, I had my head turned to face the person calling me.
A Noble Consort leaned closer to me. "Don't you miss this?"
"Indeed," I kept looking at them. There was an urge to. Palace maids began to pour more wine into each individual's vessel, two began to walk up to the Emperor. I turned quickly to look at the Noble Consort and smiled. "I do, I do miss this a lot."
"I'm glad you can experience it now!" she grinned, not realising that I wasn't paying attention to her.
I nodded, before fixing my gaze at one of the two maids. Slower than usual, she poured the wine into the Emperor's vessel.
The second maid, moving her body to the left of the Empress, faced her back towards the Emperor. As she poured the wine quickly into the vessel, she immediately shuffled backwards, bumping into the Emperor and the throne.
For a split second, the first maid, to the Emperor's left, hurriedly slipped something into the Emperor's wine. I blinked a few times to confirm my sight.
Now, I know.
"I apologize, Your Majesty! Forgive my incompetence, Your Majesty!" she promptly got into a kowtow.
As I sipped my wine plainly, I peeked out to examine the expression of the higher official's face. He was the only one who paid attention.
This wasn't good.
"I'll forgive," the Emperor spoke sternly, shaking his head as he raised his fingers for her to get up. He lifted the vessel in front of him, giving the audience a grin. "I am in a good mood!"
"Long live the Emperor!" the higher official vocalized, chuckling as he raised the vessel to his lips. The rest followed.
I was starting to feel hot. My cheeks were burning. My breaths were starting to become irregular, and I couldn't control my anxiety. What should I do? Let the Emperor get poison and die, or start a ruckus and risk another time in the Cold Palace? Then again, the Noble Consort next to me did not notice my sudden interest in the higher official and the Emperor.
"Stop!" I shot up before the Emperor could take his first sip, my eyes scanned everybody for their reaction.
The Emperor slowly brought his vessel down. He looked at me in a way he has never looked at me before. And I was afraid. I saw his chest rise slowly. "What... is... it... now?"
"Your Majesty," I cried, walking around my small table. Everybody was sitting down but me. "That maid planted something in your drink while that one"—I pointed to the widened eyed maid—"collided with your throne!"
"Don't be ridiculous! You've... You've been in that prison for so long that you must be seeing things! You're delusional, woman." the higher official, in a patronizing tone, let out an ugly chortle and I heard faint laughter around me.
"Ying Yue, please sit down." the Emperor ordered. There was frustration in his tone of voice when he spoke, but he tried to hide it.
Bold and confidently, I stomped up to him. I seized the wine from him, like snatching candy from a baby, and rushed to shove it in the higher official's face.
"I think after letting you out of the Cold Palace was a big mistake, I am ordering you to—" the Emperor yelled, rising up from his chair.
The higher official looked at me, his eyes were filled with sharp hatred. He shook his head slowly, unnoticeably to the point that only I could see his panicked expression. I urged the vessel of wine in his face. "If I am being so ridiculous, then drink it."
"Your Majesty, control this woman! She is delusional right now!" he shook his head and tried to move the vessel away from his face.
I turned to the Emperor, and he lost the look he gave me previously. His eyes softened, but before he could speak, I spoke first. "Your Majesty, I may have exited the Cold Palace with dread and gloom, but I have recovered."
"Chancellor Wei Cheng, I think I will rest my system. Please, I offer you to take another." the Emperor nodded in approval, dramatically extending his arm.
"Why are you being so defensive?" I asked coolly.
My hands stopped shaking. I held the vessel with poise, waiting for Wei Cheng to take a sip, knowing that he wouldn't. His eyes were still begging me to let him go, but both of us knew that I wouldn't back down. I couldn't tolerate the sexist remark and the cruel remark of my imprisonment. Another thing that was so absurd to me, was that he knew about it.
The chancellor played it off, lightheartedly making excuses to beg a pardon from the Emperor.
"Your Majesty, I-I don't think I can handle..." he shook his head, nervously laughing to himself before putting his own vessel down to take the one in my hand.
The Emperor held a solemn face. "Why not? You only drank two this evening."
Everybody already had their eyes set on us. They didn't give any attention to their conversations and food anymore. This made the redness on Wei Cheng's face even brighter. Sweat drops trickled down his temple and his face. He stayed silent, glancing up at me and then at the vessel repeatedly before slamming it on his table.
"I beg your pardon, Your Majesty! I have wronged you!" he burst into a deafening cry, rushing past me to the middle of the hall to bow to the Emperor.
I eased my way back to my seat with a slightly smug look on my face. When I eyed the Imperial Concubine, she gave me a slow nod. I smiled lightly.
"You did this?" the Emperor exclaimed. He looked shocked.
"You ignorant fool," Wei Cheng grimaced, still shaking his head. He shot his finger up to point at the Emperor and wagged it. "You let my daughter die! How careless of you to not bat an eye—"
Li Mei? He was Li Mei's father?
I felt a hefty amount of guilt now that I've realise what I've done. I didn't know Li Mei at all, neither did I know her family. To see a grieving father, accusing the man who was supposedly above the law, this was heartbreaking. I pitied him. Now he was to die like his daughter.
There were sacrifices that we all had to make, but the guilt finally started to eat me up now.
"This is no one's fault!" the Empress shot up from her throne, demanding the guards with her hand to deal with the chancellor in front of her.
The Emperor set himself in his throne at ease. He didn't react to the accusation; he had an unreadable facial expression he always had on. "Wei Cheng, you are a great man. You advised me well and you were loyal to me."
"But you are no longer loyal. If it wasn't for Noble Consort Han to spot the disloyalty in you, I would have been dead," the Emperor continued calmly. "You ridiculed her. You attempted to assassinate me in my own throne."
"Your Majesty, I am a grieving father! If only you—" Wei Cheng began, tears were already forming.
"Don't assume her death didn't affect me! Dong Mei's death affected me in the worst way possible," the Emperor burst out in fury. His voice boomed. It startled many. "I recognize your grief. But you carried it towards me and I can never forgive you for that."
Oh. It was only Dong Mei.
Suddenly my guilt faded away like it was never there.
The Emperor looked at Lian Ying with a nod. "He will have his title revoked. Wei Cheng, you are no longer a chancellor, you will be a commoner that will be exiled from here. Although you dared to kill me in my own throne, you have done exceptionally well in court."
"Death will be an easy way out for you," he continued. "You will live knowing that you failed to assassinate me. You will wait for your death to meet your daughter in the afterlife."
We were all excused earlier than expected. All of us huddled out to return to our chambers. I had laundry duty with others, which was better than cleaning floors and organizing books. We chose to hurry to finish it before it got darker. This evening was exhausting and I couldn't wait to go back to my bed and relax.
"Ying Yue," the booming voice caused me to jump as I was lost in my thoughts. I turned around to face the Emperor. He stepped down and excused everyone in the hall before looking at me with amusement. "Quite extraordinary eyes you have there."
I bowed. "It is my duty to serve Your Majesty. Maids would be very careful not to collide into you, I am sure of it... It was very kind of you to not execute him."
"I know compassion is a weakness but," he lifted his chin up to stare aimlessly behind me. "Sometimes it's acceptable to empathize with one."
Can I leave yet?
"I agree, Your Majesty." I nodded curtly.
"Yes, would you like to—" the Emperor brushed his index finger across my cheek gently, leaning towards me slowly.
"I...Uh, Your Majesty, I have to do chores! The Empress has ordered me to do a few things."
"Hm... I can tell the Empress—"
"I'll be fine, Your Majesty! Allow me to take my leave."
The Emperor sighed. "I'll see you tomorrow, Ying Yue."
I rushed off to find Su Yin. She stood out waiting for me. Her hair was blowing in the wind; she looked graceful like always. I looked down.
Her baby bump was noticeable. After what had happened, I was scared for Su Yin. I was scared for myself as well. The Empress got away once again, but I know she's not happy that I am back. Once I looked at Su Yin's baby bump, I felt like it was my responsibility to make sure she is alive and healthy.
"Thank you for waiting," I approached her. "I'll walk you to your chamber, but I'm afraid I can't stay and talk. I have laundry duty."
"That's fine, sister, but can we stop at the kitchen? Uncle Bin suggested that if I ever had strange food cravings, I could talk to him." Su Yin brushed the hair from her face.
The darkened blue sky was still bright. It felt fun to walk with someone in an eerie environment. The birds were still out chirping although it was late evening. After the attempted assassination of the Emperor, it was a calming sensation to be outside. There was something that felt so good about the weather, that it warmed my heart.
We were able to get to the kitchen quickly and unnoticeably. It was unusually dark with only one light source that was not coming from where it should be. Su Yin gripped my hand tightly as we walked in. Uncle Bin was supposed to be here, but we might have been too early. They should be finished washing the dishes by now, but where were the maids and the chefs?
As we got closer, a woman in a dark purple hanfu was leaning towards the counter with her back facing against us. I cleared my throat.
She immediately turned around. We made direct eye contact and I did not look away. The woman looked well-kept and properly groomed, but I've never seen her in my life. Her lips parted, and she gave me a nervous smile.
"I-I'm... I was just... I was just looking for something," she finally spoke and carefully walked back towards the other exit. "I'll be leaving..."
The woman immediately sprang to action and rushed out of the kitchen abruptly. I let go of Su Yin's hand and immediately looked at her for her reaction. She narrowed her eyes. Su Yin narrowed her eyes very often, which usually means she's suspicious or that she's thinking about something. In this situation, it was both.
I nudged her slightly. "What is it? That was weird, wasn't it?"
"She looks familiar," Su Yin, still narrowing her eyes at the exit the woman left from. "But I can't recall where I've seen her before..."