Lex woke a few hours later. She was facing Scar. He was asleep and she was wrapped in his arms. She peered up at his closed eyes, she stared at his mandibles and the quills that lined the top, the sides of his head and forehead. She studied his differences. She'd grown accustomed to seeing his face, his hands, his webbed feet and his skin. His skin looked reptilian, the colouring and pattern almost identical. His skin was soft but thick. His tendrils were long, extending only on the sides and along the back of his head. The top of his head was bald and there was an indentation down the centre. He was different and definitely unique. It didn't bother her, he only intrigued her. She wondered what he truly thought of her human attributes and features. She reflected on why he had certain features and if she'd changed enough to conceive. He'd introduced his blood into her body so many times that she'd lost count. She pondered.....her thoughts obsessing over her life expectancy. If she had children with him, they wouldn't be able to live safely or peacefully on Earth unless they were isolated. She wished she had a friend who could understand. She had no complaints only deep thoughts.
Their children could always live in space aboard the ship or maybe among the other Yautja on the outpost or on Earth at the cabin. She wondered if the Yautja on the outpost or Yautja Prime would accept their children or her? Would they truly be safe? They would have to explain to their children why they were alone but maybe if they only lived alone, longing for friends wouldn't be a factor. What if their children hunted......What if Scar insisted that their children, particularly male children train to be killers....her thoughts ran in loops. Would this truly bother her!? Her answer leaned towards no. Her life was no longer normal. How could she expect her children to live as such. Their father was an extraordinary being. Why was she having these thoughts now.....
"Alexa....Your thoughts will poison your peace and contentment...and our happiness." Scar spoke softly.... Lex snapped out of her thoughts. She hadn't noticed him open his eyes. "I...I.... I'm only thinking." She answered, speaking lowly while dropping her eyes. "Yes, I know...your breathing alerted me to your seriously impending stress." He divulged clicking while lifting her head to find her eyes. "Of course it did. I'm sorry. I'm fine. How are you feeling?" She asked him quietly. "We are joined. I am well, blissfully euphoric. Come here."
Scar reached for her waist and brought her eye level. She thought of his strength. "Do you have questions?" He asked. Lex stared at him.
"Our children.... They will look different?" "Quite possibly. Does that bother you?" He asked in growing interest.
"No...yes...no....I just....I would like to know. They will not be able to live on Earth safely." She stated sounding down hearted.
"No, not freely, openly or safely. I am sorry. I have realized it will be an adjustment and it may seem unfair at times." He said softly.
"Will they hunt?" She asked.
"Lex....I would want them to train, as I was trained. I will assess their development and strength but I will not disrupt our balance if you strongly feel against it. Their inherited traits and genes will be a mystery until certain stages of your pregnancy and or their growth, development and maturity." He acknowledged clicking nervously.
"But....... you will protect us and keep us safe? Right....." She asked sounding unsure.
"Alexa! Yes! I will protect you and our children with the last of my life's will and strength." He pulled her to him and grazed her face with his mandibles. She shook her head and hugged him. She latched on to him and held him enduringly.
Scar held her and felt her begin to shake. "Lex..." She trembled. He held her tighter. "Lex..." He tried pulling her back to look into her eyes but he couldn't peel her from his body. She held him fiercely and her tears fell freely. Scar could hear, smell and feel her distress. "Ssssssss....you are safe." Scar held her and moved from the bed. He entered the lavatory and drew them a bath. He purred trying to calm her. Her warm body made him feel comforted. He wanted her to relax and he needed to put her at ease.
"Lex....." She didn't answer. Scar set a timer on the pool and held her. Rubbing her back. He reached for a large cloth and covered her back and bottom. He continued to hold her. He walked them out of their quarters and to the kitchen. He procured sweet fruit and her utensil. He ate a great deal of sweet fruit and left over spiced meat from their wedding while still holding her. Lex felt him carrying her, his strength always amazed her. She heard him chewing and she could smell the sweet fruit. She continued holding onto him, resting her head on his chest and shoulder.
The implications of their union finally hitting her. No regrets just a bit of uncertainty. Her nerves getting the best of her. Scar purred while drinking a bit of ju'dha and a pint of c'nlip. He grabbed her sweet fruit and they exited. When they reached their quarters, Scar carried her into the lavatory. He sat her fruit along the ledge of the pool. "Bathe with me." He whispered. Lex shook her head. He tried to pull her back and she gradually moved to look at him. He could see her tear streaked face and he sighed.
He leaned forward to graze her face. He lowered her into the pool and she made herself comfortable. He handed her the sweet fruit and touched her mark. "I will return." He assured her calmly. Lex submerged herself further into the pool and took small bites of the food.
Scar went to the control centre in their quarters and calculated their travel. He charted a course to Earth and programmed the ship to autopilot. He turned on all of the detection and warning settings as well as the cloaking mechanism when they reached Earth's orbit.
Lex ate most of the sweet fruit. Scar entered the lavatory and walked to the pool. He touched her hair and climbed in to sit with her. Lex moved over but he grabbed her, he motioned for her to sit with him. She sat with her back to his chest. He held her and did his best to comfort her. Scar rubbed her body in a gentle manner and it allowed her to relax. "Lex...I love you. Please don't be afraid." "I love you more." She spoke timidly. He sighed trilling long. He began to massage her stiff shoulders and her lower jaws. He felt a lot of tension in her mouth. He rubbed her shoulders and tried loosening her tight muscles.
"Lex, please do not worry. I will do everything in my power to protect you and please you." Lex didn't move or say a word. "Do you have regrets about our joining?" Lex sat silently. Scar stopped rubbing her shoulders...he sat immobilized, waiting for her to answer. She didn't. He froze, anxiety and vile panic rising in his chest. His hands began to shake. "Lex..." He whispered, his voice cracking. She moved from him. She turned to face him. He looked fright with dread. "No, I'm just nervous. This is a very real situation. It has changed both of our lives." "I can assure you that you have my devotion, fealty and love." He explained to her. She cast her eyes downward. Scar pulled her to him.
"I will be with you always. Even during hunts, you will be with me or manning our ship." Scar declared. "Hunting is dangerous. I feel it's too late to voice my disdain for it but it scares me. Those kainde amedhas are deadly. I'm sure there are other...aliens...that are just as deleterious. I'm...I am truly starting to realize my concerns and the consequences of my participation in this relationship. I understand why female Yautja remain behind on your home planet or an outpost and raise their offspring together. They need support to deal with sperm donors who abandon them for the hunt." Scar sat quietly, her words wounding him. "Lex..." "No...it was one thing when it was just me but me and a potential child or OFFSPRING. Ugh! You can treat me like shit all day long, you can abandon me and I can pick up the pathetic pieces of my heartache but children. I....I just don't know how to not feel bitter, cheated or like a complete fool." She tried to move from him.
"NO!" He growled angrily. His fury on the surface. He grabbed her arm, hurting her and startling her. He lifted himself from the water and towered over her. He was seething. His mandibles flaring slightly. His eyes were intense and filled with barely contained emotion...rage. He stared down at her. His grip on her arm frightening her into submission and silence. He moved her backwards until she bumped into the back of the pool. He lifted himself higher and stared down at her. Water sloughed off his body. He was massive, even on his knees his height still dwarfed her.
Scar took several deep breaths. Willing himself to ease down. He did not want to hurt her. He dropped his head and closed his eyes trying to calm himself. Lex was soundless! Having realized she'd pushed him into this reaction, this pain. He was doing everything he could to appease her and earn her trust. His head hung low, she could hear his chest rumbling with his laboured breathing. His chittering was loud and distinct.
Lex only now realized how much he sacrificed as well to be with her. How much he must have endured to return to her and how much he loved her to forego hunting like the true warrior he was, the offspring he could impregnate in multiple Yautja females and the status he could obtain if he were unattached. Yet, he'd returned to her several times in an effort to have her as his mate. Possibly facing ostracism, renunciation, ridicule, being abandoned, challenged or killed.
Lex loved him but her new life wasn't without worry. She would have to stop this. Stop rejecting him and casting aside his feelings, his efforts and his culture. He had given her everything he could and more.
Scar felt like he couldn't calm himself. He needed to be soothed from this hurt. He loved her but her words felt like rejection. He feared she would ask him to return her to Earth and a normal life without him, in spite of his best efforts!! They were building a life together! He was teaching her to slowly open up, to fly, to fight...they had pets. She was teaching him to consider his emotions before his reactions. They had a home. Two homes! They were each others family now. They were joined and members of his Yautja clan had accepted her. He needed her but her words broke his heart. How could he fix this...
Lex watched him. He hadn't looked at her again. Only stood over her, holding her arm in a death grip, vibrating from anger. Lex moved forward. She softly touched his chest. Scar looked up at her. His face was a picture of abject misery. She moved towards him. He kneeled, absolutely still. Lex traced his shoulders and touched his neck. She felt him swallow. He was warm and trembling. "Come here..." She whispered. He moved to her slowly. She reached for his head and pulled him down to her. She kissed his chin and licked up to his teeth. She tasted c'nlip. "Forgive me." She asked him quietly. He stared at her, unmoving. He loosened his grip on her arm and she could feel her blood began to circulate again to her fingers.
Lex wrapped her arms around him. He was in a daze. She kissed his chest. She rubbed his tendrils and squeezed them. He inhaled a deep breath. She looked at his eyes. He looked hurt. "I am sorry...I worry about me without you, if something were to happen to you. I worry about our children." "We do not have to produce offspring." He interjected quickly. "Scar, no I'm just worried." "I do not want you to feel burdened or cheated." He spoke candidly, surprising her. "Scar....no....I just..."
He moved from her. Lex watched him retreat. "I do not want you to worry or feel bitter or fooled." He said. "Scar..." "No...I do not want to live with you feeling like I have laid a heavy burden.....weight upon you." He clicked in sadness. "Scar..." He moved to her and held her. "Breathe for me." He asked her. She took a deep breath and the ship went into hyper-jump. It gave her a fright. Lex felt faint. The buoyancy of the water and the ships lighting fast speed disorienting her. It stopped her breathing momentarily.
Finally she felt stabilized. Scar released her and he moved from her. She knelt in front of him balancing herself. Scar exited the pool. "Scar....what.."
"Bathe, enjoy the water." He said before leaving the lavatory. Lex sat stunned by his actions. Scar left their quarters. He headed for his training room and locked the door.