Episode begins with Blake on the sidewalk in the city of Vale, holding a flag.
Blake: Drivers, are you ready.
Yang revs up her motorcycle.
Ruby comes out inside a red wagon with hot-red flaming stickers. Ruby is holding a fishing rod with a dog bone attached to the end of it, for Zwei. (Who is pulling the wagon.)
Fluttershy: Aw, how adorable.
Spike: Hopefully that dog can run as fast as a motorcycle.
Yang: Ready!
Ruby: Let's do this!
Zwei: Woof!
Weiss: I to am ready to start the race.
Weiss comes up riding a pretty pink tricycle.
Ruby and Yang burst into complete hysterical laughter.
Apparently, you, Spike, and all the girls do the same.
Everyone:
(Y/N): I FEEL LIKE GUTS ARE GOING TO BURST!
Rainbow Dash: A TRICYCLE! HA HA, REALLY ICE QUEEN?!
Applejack: HOW LONG IS THIS GOING TO KEEP UP!
Adagio: I DON'T KNOW!
Sonata: PROBABLY, UNTIL WE ALL DIE OF LAUGHTER!
After a minute of laughter, you all calm down.
Twilight: Whew, sweet Celestia.
Sunset: Oh man, that was too funny.
Weiss: What?
Yang: Where did you get that thing? Your Grandma?
Weiss: As a matter of fact, yes. This was Nana Schnee's favorite bike. She called it "Stardust".
Rarity: That name sounds lovely.
Sunny Flare: I agree, it sounds like a outfit made out of crystals and magic.
Ruby and Yang begin laughing again.
Ruby: I wish you could see how dumb you look!
The stickers on the wagon begin to fall off.
Ruby: Oh no, my stickies!
Gloriosa: You were saying Ruby.
Octavia: Well, Weiss is still using a tricycle.
Vinyl: Very true.
Yang: Well I hope Nana taught you to lose, princess. 'Cause you don't have the horsepower.
Weiss: I have plenty of horses, thank you.
Sci-Twi: No, Weiss, horsepower means how much "work" is done. You're smarter than that.
Twilight: Physics is really brought up a lot by us recently.
(Y/N): No kidding.
Blake: Enough chatter! Let's race! On your marks, get set, go!
At that moment, Weiss takes out Myrtenaster and jabs it into the ground, creating ice that freeze, Ruby, Zwei, and Yang in place.
Yang: What and how?!
Ruby: No fair! I was gonna be so fast... and yet now, I am just furious!
Pinkie laughs at that.
Pinkie: Nice movie reference, Ruby.
Lemon Zest: Wasn't expecting that.
Blake laughs in the background as Weiss pedals to victory.
Weiss: Stardust away!
Zwei: Woof woof.
Ruby and Yang struggle to get out, but can't.
Sonata: Hey can I say, the joke, please.
(Y/N): Do it Sonata, and make it sound good.
Aria and Adagio: NO! DON'T SAY IT!
Gloriosa: Which joke? Oh that one.
Sonata: OK HERE I GO!
You burst out in laughter, while Adagio and Aria groan. They may love their sister, but she still gets on their nerves from time to time.
Aria: (Y/N) I love you, but did you really have to show her that movie.
(Y/N): I love Suburban Commando, no matter how stupid it actually is.
Scene cuts to a nightclub, where Yang is going to do a stand-up routine. Sun, Jaune, Ren, Zwei, Blake, and Ruby are in the audience.
You suddenly get a bad feeling about this and rush to get a glass of water, without ice, (you normally love having ice in your water), and grab a pill from a cabinet.
(Y/N): If this is what I think it is, then I am ready to leave this world.
Sunset: Uh, (Y/N) what is it with that pill.
Trixie: Does it teleport you to another world for a couple of minutes?
Eventually everyone knew what you were about to do.
Yang: Did you hear about the teacher at Beacon who wears an eye patch? I heard they had to let him go. Turns out he only had one "pupil"!
You pause for a couple of seconds and put the pill into your mouth.
Your harem: (Y/N) NOOOOOOOOO!
They rush towards you as you begin drinking the water.
The two Twilights grab you from the stomach.
The Shadowbolts join in.
Applejack and Sunset punch you in the gut, spitting both the pill and the water out.
(Y/N): NO AH AH, NO I CAN'T DO IT! NO YANG STAND-UP COMEDY! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IF I HAVE TO HEAR IT!
Rarity sighs.
Rarity: I can't believe I'm doing this to him.
Rarity slaps you to wake you up.
Rarity: Get a hold of yourself, (Y/N), I now Yang's sense of humor is non-existent. But we will help you through it.
(Y/N): Thanks Rarity, and thank you girls. I love you all so much.
Your Harem: We love you too (Y/N)!
They all give you some kisses, and continue watching with you.
The audience, groans and Zwei whimpers.
Jaune: OUCH!
(Y/N): I feel your pain Jaune, this is awful.
Twilight: Oh come on it can't be that bad.
Yang: Hey everyone! Don't forget the tournament starts next week! It's "vital" we all do our best! As in, the Vytal Tournament?
Dazzlings, Shadowbolts, Trixie, Octavia, Vinyl, Lyra, and BonBon:
Sunset and Twilight: That wasn't funny.
Pinkie: Yeah and do you want to know why?
Pinkie looked really agitated by Yang's joke.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, Pinkie are you okay?
Pinkie: NO I'M NOT! Because -
The audience just groans again.
Yang: Hello? This is on, right?
Sun: Unfortunately!
Yang begins pointing at Blake.
Yang: So ... My roommate Blake was coughing up hairballs all night. We thought it was a "cat"astrophe.
Blake groans and shakes her head.
Rarity begins pounding her head against a wall.
Rarity: THIS IS STUPID!
Yang: But now she's "feline" much better!
Audience begins booing.
Everyone: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Lyra and BonBon: Get off the stage.
Derpy: Bring in someone who is actually funny.
Vinyl: What I wouldn't do for some earplugs right about now.
Jaune: Get off the stage.
Sun tries to leave.
Sun: I just remembered! I'm supposed to be, uh... Not here.
Ren grabs onto Sun's monkey tail.
Ren: If we have to sit through this, so do you.
Yang: I'm the main act, people. This is as good as it gets!
Sun: This is worse than Ozpin throwing new students off a cliff!
The audience begins laughing at this.
You and the girls begin giggling, and Spike rolls on his back laughing.
Sun: Right? I mean what's he gonna do when they graduate? Set them on fire?!
The audience outright laughs at that joke.
You all begin laughing along with Spike.
Spike: Finally, thank you Sun!
(Y/N): YES, REAL COMEDY! AT LAST! THANK YOU SUN! YOU MADE ME ABLE TO LAUGH AGAIN!
Pinkie: That's how jokes work.
Yang: No, don't listen to him! You! Stop being funny!
Sun: How about you start being funny!
Audience laughs again.
You all burst into complete laughter once again.
Sunset: That was a good one.
Moondancer: Agreed.
Yang: Wait, wait, wait. You haven't heard about that time I, uh... fought a Nevermore! Yeah! It was a pretty "Grimm" situation!
(Y/N):
Audience boos once again.
Yang: Out with a Yang!
Yang winks, and disappears under a trap door.
(Y/N): THANK GOD! SHE'S GONE! I LIKE YANG, BUT I HATE HER PUNS!
Lyra: At least she stopped for now.
Scene changes to Jaune and Blake sitting on a couch in a common room. Ruby soon walks in with a Beowulf, who is clinging onto her cape.
Applejack: The hell did Ruby get herself into now?
Sugarcoat: Beats me, must have been a really nasty adventure.
Jaune: Umm, Ruby? Did you know you have some–
Ruby: (stops walking) Yeah, I know. Long story.
Jaune: Yeah, looks like a long story. Pretty good one I bet. Full of adventure.
Ruby: Yup.
Jaune: Excitement?
Ruby: Oh, yeah.
Jaune: Hijinks?
Ruby: So many hijinks.
Jaune: Yup, yup, yup! Good stuff, good stuff.
Ruby: Yeah, well, uh. I, uh... I gotta go deal with this. So, uh... See ya.
Ruby soon walks off dragging the Grimm with her.
Sunset: Well no one said being a huntress was easy.
Twilight, Moondancer, and Sci-Twi: True, very true.
Jaune: Blake, do you ever get the feeling that you're, I dunno, just a supporting character in life? That other people are having all the cool adventures?
Blake: Nope.
Jaune: (sighs) Must be just me, then.
Blake: Don't worry about it, Sun.
Everybody: WHAT! SUN! HE'S JAUNE!
(Y/N): Sun has spiky hair and a tail. C'mon Blake, you're smarter than this.
Jaune: ...Sun? I'm Jaune.
Blake: Yeah. No. Of course. I'm just kidding.
Everybody: Yeah, sure.
Ruby takes out Crescent Rose and begins fighting the Beowolf again.
Ruby: Oh no! Too much adventure! Oh boy! Aww, this is gonna get crazy! Plot progression! It's happening, right now!
Plates, potted plants and Zwei are sent flying through the room by Ruby and the Beowolf's commotion.
Blake: Are you sure you're not the one with the monkey tail?
Adagio: They don't even look alike.
Aria: Plus, if you want to know, just look at his ass.
(Y/N): That sounded really naughty.
Gloriosa: These shorts were fine, but I think Stardust is my favorite now!
Sonata: Same goes for me.