A few days had passed since her visit to Gemma. It had given her some peace of mind. What to do with Juice, was however still an unanswered question. She was just tired of the constant fights. But she missed him, it was impossible to deny. Her eyes never left him alone when he was around and she felt lonely at night. They avoided each other as much as possible, which seemed to be best solution.
Sure, there were many moments she considered to just kiss him in the middle of the clubhouse, so their feelings were no longer a secret and he would want to move on with her. There was however always something holding her back. Especially now those Nomads were hanging out in the clubhouse, she didn't want to be known as Juice's little bitch. Maybe she would do it later, when she had proven herself to those new guys like she had proven herself to the others. As soon as they wouldn't consider her as a pussy anymore, she might give in.
Although deep down, she knew she would come up with another excuse.
Maybe it just felt wrong to choose Juice over her little brother – to increase the chance on discovery only so she could get laid again. She was stronger than those instincts. She could ignore them.
The doubts however returned when they were both sent to Gemma's house to pack Clay's stuff. He was released from the hospital today and Gemma didn't want him to come home. Except for them, only Chucky was around, so they were dependent on each other.
He wasn't unfriendly. Although they weren't joking around like they would have done in the past, he wasn't insensitive either and he sometimes helped her to get things done without making spiteful remarks. He acted normal – undoubtedly because Clay and Chucky were around.
Alex wished he was hostile. His calm voice and small smiles called up the longing for him. She didn't rule out that he was behaving like this on purpose, just to trigger a reaction, but the few times she looked into his eyes she saw nothing but sincerity.
It hurt. Made her doubt.
Maybe he acted like this because he was over her. Because he had finally realized that having a girl like her was a nightmare.
Even when they were alone, his demeanor didn't change. Alex kept sitting with her back towards him as she cleaned out a closet and put the stuff in a box. She however noticed that she was wishing that he would show up behind her; that he would wrap his arms around her and tell her that he had forgiven her.
He however kept his distance, an although he wasn't ignoring her, he neither made a pass at her.
"Would you ever want me back?" The question slipped her lips and she cast her glance down.
She heard him putting a box on the ground and reluctantly she turned around.
"Depends. You're gonna change anything about your behavior?"
"I'm not going to change for you."
Sighing, he lifted the box. "Then I don't want you back."
Alex rubbed her face when he walked away. She didn't even know where that answer had came from. Something inside her had just protested strongly when he pointed out that she needed to change for him, even though she didn't even know what changes he wanted to see. Was it only about revealing her feelings to the others? Or were there other characteristics he couldn't deal with? She wasn't some lump of clay he could mold to his liking.
In silence Alex carried out her task. She was relieved when everything was packed and wanted to go home, but Clay motioned her to come closer.
"I wanna share a few words with you."
She nodded slowly. "Okay..."
. . .
Fifteen minutes later Chucky and Juice had left the building. That she stayed behind, didn't raise questions inside Juice – or he didn't care.
Clay waved towards the sitting area. Alex sat down on the couch, Clay on a chair. The man looked exhausted, much older than before he had been shot.
"Jax made good use of my absence, crowning himself king," Clay started after a while. "The way he took the gavel in hand, showed me that he isn't worthy to be president. I know that you have your concerns about Jax being at the head of the table." For a moment he was silent and seemed to be looking for words, although he studied her face with a frowned forehead. "Together with the Nomads I'm working on a plan to make him step down."
Alex was silent, overwhelmed because he was sharing this with her. Why on earth would he do that? She was just a prospect, her opinion meant shit to them.
"I see your qualities, Alex. Between you and me – we never had a prospect we could count on so quickly. If it was up to me, I would have shortened your prospect time. Maybe it makes Jax jealous. He thinks that you're ten years younger than he; imagine what potential you have when you are as old as he is. I'm not surprised he considers you as a rival, especially because you're not afraid to share your opinion, not even if it isn't in line with our prince's."
Alex couldn't help his words made her beam with pride, even when she kept in mind that Clay was telling her this for a reason. There was no doubt that he was charming her to get something done.
"I'm going to be honest with you: Jax is never going to give you that patch. Why would he patch someone in who is doubting his decisions, who believes he hasn't earned the right to hold the gavel? He's looking for a way to get rid of you without the others becoming suspicious, and when he does, you're done. And well – let's be honest... the fact that you're actually a girl isn't very helpful."
Alex heaved a sigh. "What do you want, Clay? I might be young, but not that young that you need to coddle me."
He lifted the corner of his mouth; he valued her honesty. "I want to show Charming that the town isn't prospecting from Jax being on the head of the table. We both know he isn't ready. I want to create some riots here and there... make sure people will feel unsafe... Jax is acting like he's a real man, but the moment things aren't going according to his plan, he changes into a little brat. He will doubt his qualities once he notices that people are feeling restless and lose faith in him. And his lapdogs will also discover that Jax is no saint and that he's making mistakes too." He cleared his throat. "You are the only one who has seen his sly side, Alex, when he was pointing the dagger at the throat of his critically ill president and stepfather, only to put himself on a pedestal. The others – I can't trust them. I've already involved the nomads in my plan, they're still loyal to me. I hope... I can count on you too. That your loyalty hasn't changed the past weeks."
Alex didn't answer immediately; it was a lot to take in. One thing however was sure – her loyalty lied indeed with Clay and not with Jax. It however was a bold move to show that; she didn't have a lot of friends right now. On the other hand: Clay definitely liked her, he wouldn't kick her out if he knew he could trust her. She would even have his support, the moment she told the others who she really was – that is, if he was the one wearing the president patch. Which meant that he needed to retake the seat on the head of the table.
"If I say no, you're gonna expose me huh?" He hadn't said a word about it, but Alex wasn't stupid. Except for Juice and Tara, he was the only one who knew her secret. He was smart enough to use the knowledge to his benefit.
Clay leaned forward. "Let's just say that I feel a mutual trust between us and that I believe that you're loyal to the club and its rightful president. But if you disagree... well, then I might have been wrong about your loyalty. Consider it as the ultimate way to prove your loyalty to the club. Or do you think the club is better off with Jax?"
"No," she sighed, rubbing her face. "What exactly do you want me to do?"
"Like I said – the three Nomads are already in the loop. I want them to raid some houses, to smash the place up, rough up the owner a little bit... Nothing serious – just to scare them off."
Alex thought about his words. She wasn't exactly a big fan of gratuitous violence – but was her aversion so big that she would give up her kutte? She knew damn well that she was fucked if she didn't go along with it. Clay might make it sound like she wasn't his puppet, but she actually was.
Her only other option, was telling this to Jax.
But then what? He was still the one who had taken control of the club in a disgusting way. Who knows what mess he would create if he kept acting on impulse.
"I don't really get where you need me for," she said.
"I want three people to do the raids. That's a good amount to scare people off. Greg has a fake leg, making him a liability. Someone might notice his limp – and there aren't many guys around with a prosthetic." Clay looked her in the eye. "And I have the feeling we're on the same line, Alex. I know you don't want Jax to be the one judging your fate."
Alex picked on the ring in her lip while thinking. "When do you want it done?"
"The next couple of days. I'll give you a list with addresses."
She didn't like the idea to give some innocent civilians a beat down, but as long as she was around she could make sure it wouldn't be too bad. And well – eventually those people would survive a few punches.
"Okay."
Clay's lips bent into a satisfied smirk. "I knew I could count on you. However, I do think it's better if you don't tell this to your old man. Keeping secrets... isn't one of his talents, I fear. He got no spine."
Alex snorted. "He' ain't my old man anymore. There's no reason to fill him in."
The man nodded slowly. "Good. You can go now."
Alex got up and left the house. This could work out really good; once Clay was back at the head of the table and Jax's treacherous nature was exposed to the others. Plus, in the meantime she could bond with the three Nomads. The fact that she was the only one Clay confided in, would certainly change their minds about Shane being a pussy.
Delighted, she sat down on her bike. Things weren't as hopeless as she had thought.
. . .
I want to give special thanks to Gilyflower, without her comment two chapters back I wouldn't have thought about giving Alex a role in the raids. Comments are so useful, so please don't be shy to leave them! Just a few words can get the ball rolling and bring new ideas to the front. (:
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