The short story is dedicated to Angela Bruegas. Thank you for helping me during the muting days!
Chapter 86
I ran away from home.
I don't know anymore. I just can't handle the pressure and expectation of my family since I was a child. Why can't they look at me as a normal woman who has a possibility of failures?
Bakit kailangang isipin nila na perpekto ako at kailanman ay hindi nagkakamali? At ngayon na nasaksihan nila ang ilang kahinaan at pagkakamali ko, they'll look at me like I made a kind of unforgivable sin.
Kung titingnan ng marami, halos nasa akin na ang lahat. Good family with reputation, achievements, as well as endless blessings. Nasisiguro ko na marami nang naghahangad sa kung anuman na mayroon ako.
I am always grateful to have these blessings around me. Pero hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon, nagagawa kong magpasalamat. Sometimes, everything is too much to handle, even to breathe. Na parang habang tumatagal mas bumibilis ang oras at ang lahat ng nakapalagid sa akin na halos hindi ko na makita at mahabol.
Parang gumagalaw na lang ako upang sumunod sa agos. Like a sailor who allowed the wind to lead her to his or her destination without looking at her map and compass.
Ganoon ba dapat?
Should we allow the fate to bring us somewhere that we didn't decide at all?
Our decisions are the fate itself.
And if we made a wrong decision, some people will blame fate, but the reality is they were the ones who made their fate.
Walang dapat sisihin sa mga nangyayari sa atin sa buhay kundi ang mga sarili natin.
"So, do you regret running away?" tanong ng lalaking katabi ko.
I ran away from home when I discovered my family's plan. They're planning to sell me, to marry me to someone I don't love, to a stranger that I don't even know.
"No."
"Pero ikaw na rin ang nagsabi, there's a possibility that they will disown you."
I sighed. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nagawa kong ikwento ang lahat ng pinagdadaanan ko sa lalaking katabi ko. It's just that maybe I need a breather... someone that can listen to me.
Nanatili akong nakaupo sa may fountain sa gitna ng park. Hindi gaaanong mainit dahil nakapaligid ang napakaraming puno, at hindi rin masyadong marami ang tao dahil kanina pang tapos iyong misa sa malapit na simbahan.
I was just planning to stay here for a while. Makinig sa agos ng tubig sa likuran ko at manuod sa paligid, habang pilit kinakalimutan ang sitwasyon ko.
But this man beside me gave me this familiar smile, na hindi ko nagawang umalis sa pagkakaupo ko at iwan siya.
I was running from a stranger, but here I am, talking to another stranger. Ironic.
"Your name?" he asked.
"Angela."
He chuckled. "Such a nice name," he offered his hand.
"Jake."
Tipid ko lang tiningnan ang kamay niya. Ngumisi niya bago niya bawiin iyon dahil napansin niyang wala akong balak tanggapin iyon.
"So, what's your plan?"
"Why would I tell you?"
Nagkibit balikat siya. "You told me enough."
Tumayo na ako at pinagpagan ang suot ko. Iiwan ko na sana siya at magsisimula nang maglakad nang bigla niyang hawakan ang kamay ko. Iritado sana akong haharap pabalik sa kanya kasabay nang paghila ko sa kamay ko, pero nang sandaling magtama ang aming mga mata, saglit umikot ang buong paligid ko.
At may mga alaalang tila nangyari ngunit hindi ko matandaan...
Our kisses, the embraces... the promises...
"Angel...let's run away together."