"Fuck, Yvette I gotta go. I'm going to be late." Shawn said frantically putting his sweats on and walking to the bathroom.
I couldn't control the small laughter coming out of me, "I told you to leave." I said rubbing my bottom lip feeling how swollen it was right now.
His kisses and bites left major bruising right now.
He walked back into the room and I saw the marks on his chest as he pulled his shirt down. His hair was now brushed back slightly and he was fixing his shirt.
"We both know that wasn't going to happen." He said looking over at me as I sat covering myself with the thin bedsheets.
My hair was now up in a top knot, and honestly my body was completely sore from him literally banging my brains out.
"Your phone is ringing again." I said smiling pointing at his phone on the end table.
He groaned as he went to grab it.
"I'm coming Andrew!" He shouted before slamming his phone on the end table, closing his eyes and trying to breath.
I felt bad.
I got wrapped the sheet around my body as I got off the bed and stood up in front of him. I placed my hand to his chest lightly.
"Hey, Hey. Relax okay. Deep breaths in and slow ones out." I said watching him listen to what I said.
He finally calmed down, he opened his eyes looking down at me.
"Thank you." He said placing his hand over mines and giving me a small kiss on my forehead.
"Now go, get out. We're super fucked up. You have a conference, we were fighting and then fucked. We're so messed up and we're not even deep into this." I said kissing him softly and pushing him away to the door.
"We are gonna be fine, after this we're going to talk. No sex." He said walking to her his sweater and then heading out the door.
Once he was gone, I laid on the bed wrapped into the thin bedsheet. My hair fell around the pillow, and I let out a deep sigh.
Within seconds I was sound asleep without even realizing how exhausted I was.
••••
I woke up to my phone ringing.
I turned over to the end table and grabbed my phone still half asleep.
"Hello?"
R: BITCH! Did you and Shawn really make it official and NOT tell me?!
Y: rose? Jesus stop yelling please I was asleep.
R: oh bitch are you with him right now?
Y: no, I was sleeping I'm tired, jet lagged. And we literally just made it official if you wanna call it that.
R: explain hoe.
Y: i kinda became a raging bitch after we were supposed to have a day to just us and we had a heated exchange that led to us having angry sex. And then he left he had a meeting.
R: ouuuuu bitch, angry sex is the best sex I'm just saying. Butttt be careful, I know just like you do that there is so much more with you guys. You just have to get out of your own head E, I tell you this all the time. Don't push to hard. You deserve to be happy and he makes you happy and you him.
Y: I hate you sometimes you know that. How are you and sir John? Married yet?
R: (laughs) I love you too. No we aren't married. But we are doing fine. He's literally a master genius, he's about to do a live broadcast interview about his new music. But I had to call you and curse you out because you two are all over the blogs.
Y: that amazing, I'll be sure to watch it. I love you rose and I'm so proud of you guys! Just pray for me cause I think I'm in love.
R: oh my god! Bitch !
Y: I gotta go Shawn's coming in. Talk later.
R: love you.
I turned my phone down as I heard him kicking off his shoes and walking over to the bed before he laid down on his stomach with a plop. He buried his face into the mattress and he let out a loud groan.
"That bad?" I asked laying my hand on his head and caressing my fingers through his hair.
He laid there for a second before he faced my side grabbing a pillow to support hisself.
"The label is kicking my ass about when I'm going to be finish with this album, and now I need to figure a single out soon. Then they asked me if I want to push it back and take a break, I told them I would have to think about it. Andrew just booked me a photo shoot with Armani to model for his upcoming 2020 summer collection." He said closing his eyes looking in pain just talking about it.
I sighed and I reminded myself that it wasn't about me and my needs for him but I needed to support my boyfriend and his demanding career.
"So when do you live? And where are you going next?" I asked still playing with his hair as I laid beside him sideways to face him.
"Tomorrow afternoon to Paris. Come with me?" He asked opening his eyes and he looked like a lost puppy.
I looked at him, I took a deep breath in and then out.
"Okay."
His eyes seemed to sparkle and he smiled showing his gorgeous smile.
"Really? Don't do it for me please babe." He said resting his hand on my arm.
"That's the first time I saw you, at the Eiffel Tower. Paris holds good memories for me with you." I said smiling at him caressing his jaw in slow circular motions.
"That's right. Well now we can make better memories together." He said moving his face to kiss the palm of my hand.
"So can we talk about the elephant in the room?" I asked, not trying to ruin any moment just want to clarify things.
"Hmm." He hummed kissing my hand again.
"You said you think you love me. Was that in the heat of the moment or ..." I asked making him stop and look at me seriously.
He cleared his throat several times.
"I feel like apart of me meant it but another part of me was wrapped into the moment." He said sitting up.
"So you don't mean it." I asked.
He looked at me and he stared fidgeting with his fingers.
"I feel like i can, it's just if I say I love you it's a huge thing and that's a huge step towards a relationship path that we aren't at yet. I have incredibly strong feelings for you, it's honestly terrifying. But if I say I love you i wouldn't be giving you my all, you know that. I travel 95% of my time, I barely see my own family at times. I wouldn't want to do that too you Yvette. But I don't want you to leave me, it hurts to think about. You've got this kind of hold on me that Is scary, you talk to me, you test me, you push me, you make me feel all these emotions I shut off for a long time." He said running his hands through his hair and turning away from me.
"I understand. I feel all those things for you too, but I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you. But it's okay if your not with me, I was invested in you before you even knew who I was so it's okay. Your still learning who I am and I you as a person and not just the artist. So I get it." I said resting my hand on his back.
He turned to face me his eyes a little watery and I knew he might cry and I didn't want that.
I leaned over and I kissed him pulling him toward me as I laid myself back down.
"Yvette, we haven't used a condom..."
"I'm on the birth control, and I have my bill of health in my emails if you need to see that." I said kissing on his jaw.
"I believe you, just we have to be careful."
"Trust me I know, but don't worry I don't want kids."
"Ever?"
"Not anytime soon."