Shawn Mendes just posted a photo.
Rose just posted a photo.
Yvette just posted a photo.
Monday
I scrolled down my Instagram feed after posting a work selfie. I usually love Mondays and coming into work and getting into the swing of things but this Monday was different for me. I wanted to be in bed with Shawn, or watching him work out while I lazily attempted to work out.
This weekend was honestly incredible. There was know other words for it.
But I had to get back to my reality, which was being at work. But work was slow unexpectedly today, and it was only Me and Steph and few of the tech guys and some staff, Mercedes and Candice were nowhere in sight.
"Yvette, please can you make some copies of last weeks contract I signed with the make up brand who's name I came remember at the moment?" Steph said practically running to my desk and almost falling. She was very frazzled for some reason.
I quickly started typing in my emails to see what contract she could be talking about because she signed so many in the past few weeks. After a quick search of the most recent ones I hit print.
"It's in your office printer. I sent it to print there." I said trying to give her a sincere smile.
She let out a huge sigh and she placed her hand over her heart and she blew kisses, "thank you thank you. I swear I love you. I can't imagine what I would do without you." She said turning and speed walking to her office.
I laughed and went back to try to focus on work, but I had finished everything she asked me to do. So I just played some game on my phone.
New iMessage from S 🦕❤️
I missed waking up to you this morning beautiful. Hope your having a productive day at work.
I couldn't control the smile on my face.
I missed waking up to him as well.
I was totally fucked when he leaves to go back home.
I replied back.
Work is so slow. Miss you too 😕 hope your having a more productive day than me.
S: look at that face 🥰🥰. I just finished a photo shoot then got some things to go over with Andrew.
Y: ohh that sounds fun. Wonder what kind of photo shoot 🤔
S:
Y: 😱😱😱🤤🤤🤤 thank you for the new lock screen 😍😍 omg! What is it for?
S: 🤫🤫🤫 Lolol
Y: fine. Now you have me all hot and bothered, thanks for that.
S: I wish I could help with that babe.
Y: come get me from work 😛
S: seriously?
Y: no! You have prior engagements with Andrew. Lol
S: lollol
Y: 😊
S: now I'm thinking about you, great.
Y: ha. Have a good business meeting 😙
I put my phone down once Steph came tapping away yet again,
"Everything okay?" I asked giving her all my attention.
She shook her head yes and she headed to the ladies room, as I watched her attempt to run in her heels I couldn't help but laugh to myself a little.
Then my work phone began to ring.
"Welcome to Make up by Stephanie how can I help you?"
"Hello princess, miss me?"
My body grew frozen instantly and fear washed over me. That voice vibrated through my entire core and I got lightheaded.
Antonio.
"Wha- your not supposed to have any contact with me or be with 1000 feet near me." I spoke closely into the receiver of the phone as I frantically looked around the empty office.
I looked at the elevators.
The exits.
Whoever walked I hawked them.
Is he here?
Dear god I hoped not.
He can't be here.
I heard him breathing slow and shallow into the phone sending the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up at attention quickly.
"I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday Bella. I didn't forget, but since I have no idea where you are now I knew you would be at work. I miss you, us. Your body will always be mines remember that." He spoke so calmly and unaffected.
He made me want to vomit.
"Antonio I will go my lawyer, leave me alone!" I hissed I go the phone gripping it so tightly that I'm sure I might break the phone in half.
He laughed and smacked his lips together hissing.
"Oh that slick mouth, all the good it could do when forced shut. Does your precious pop star do half the things I could do to you? Or make you do? Does he know how dark you can really be?" He laughed, making me want to vomit and I could feel it rising from my stomach.
"Go to hell Antonio!" I yelled slamming my phone down hard several times feeling the rush of tears escaping my face, I got up and ran to the bathroom trying to be as discreetly as possible.
I ran into an empty stall and I slide down to the floor with my knees pressed up to my chest and letting the tears come out as I tried to calm how shaken I was to my core.
Two hours later
"Yvette, you have to tell him. What if he try's to come after you?" Rose said in my car speaker as I drove home from work.
Steph gave me the rest of the day off after hearing my mental break in the stall and I told her what happened. She quickly notified my lawyer of everything and she told me to take the next two days off and when I come back she will have my number changed and security aware of the situation. I felt so embarrassed but I was thankful she understood and didn't fire my ass right then and there.
"Rose, I'm not telling Shawn about this. I can't this isn't what he signed up for, and he doesn't need any distractions or stress that has nothing to do with him. So please don't tell John or Shawn. I will handle this. I spoke to my lawyer and he assured me that he will handle this and I know he can't find me, I left no paper trails as far as my apartment lease and bills. It's all cash and my cards are under my mothers last name not my actual last name." I said looking over my window before switching lanes on the freeway.
She let out a long sigh.
"Please be careful Yvette, he almost killed you last time if you didn't fight back like you did. I hope you reconsider telling Shawn just so he knows what's going on, for both of your safety. Maybe I should come back and stay with you."
"Dear god no! Stay your ass with your boyfriend and live your life. Enjoy Sicily please. I'm fine. I have my alarm systems, my mace and I've been taking self defense classes. I will be fine." I said hoping she would drop it because I was already terrified out my mind to be alone in my apartment but I had to.
"Okay. Okay. Just check in or I'll go back and hunt you down." Rose said before we hung up.
We said our byes and once she hung up I started blaring old Linkin Park to calm my shattered nerves.
What the hell was I going to do?
I can't tell Shawn,
But I'm so rattled.
I should get a dog.
No, I'm barely home as it is. I could never neglect an animal.
I drove for what seemed like forever till I noticed where I had ended up.
Shawn's airBnB
I parked my car on the side of his Tesla unaware if he was even here. My subconscious led me here without me even aware. But for some weird reason just being here made me feel so much more at ease.
I got out and I decided to just risk it. I walked up to the front of the door and I rang the bell after ten minutes of hesitating and looking like a crazy person going back and forth.
This is crazy,
I'm crazy for even being here unannounced.
I stood fixing my hair suddenly feeling so rattled with different nerves now.
The door opened and I saw a woman.
A woman?
Is this the right place?
I stepped back and look up at the numbers to double check, when I saw that it was the correct I just looked at her confused.
"Hi, can I help you?" She said holding the door slightly closed with her hand at her hip and her high brunette ponytail.
"Um, is Shawn here?" I asked with so much hesitation in my tone and trying to conceal my attitude that was creeping out.
She looked at me up and down and then she had a confused look on her face.
"And you are...?" She trailed off asking just looking at me as if she was trying to size me up or figure out who I might be.
"Who is at the door?" I heard Shawn's voice from behind the door.
She opened the door wider for him to see who it was, and there he stood shirtless walking putting his shirt over his head, his jeans low on his hips showing his Calvin Klein name off his boxer and barefoot.
What in the hell did I just step into?
Who is this chick?
Why is he shirtless?
Stop!
You aren't his girlfriend remember.
He's single at the end of the day.
"Yvette? What are you doing here?" He asked rushing to the door once he saw it was me standing at the doorway.
The brunette looked at him and back at me suddenly her attitude seemed to change quickly, but mine was now fuming as I placed my arms crossed over my chest unaware of how I might look like an angry girlfriend.
"This is Yvette?" She said looking at me suddenly with so much sympathy. "I'm so sorry, I'm Dr. Jocelyne, Shawns body mechanics." She said with a small smile.
"Hi. It's nice to meet you." I said shortly taking her hand and shaking it.
Shawn gave her a smile and she excused herself leaving me and Shawn.
"Are you okay babe? This is a Surprise." He said giving me a hug and kissing my temple.
"Tell me about it." I said with so much attitude that I cringed once I heard myself. I released my arms from my chest and I tried to calm my now confused nerves.
"Wait, did you think.." he started laughing as he grabbed me pulling me inside and into his chest. "She helps me with my tension on my vocal cords and when I'm stressed and it goes to my back and shit. She's a specialist." He said kissing my hair.
"Oh. She hot." I said smiling and leaning into his chest taking his familiar scent in.
"Where you jealous? Looked like you might punch her in the face there." He laughed in my hair as he hugged me tight.
I laughed, "No I was gonna punch your lights out if anything." He squeezed me and he laughed with his whole chest. "Feisty one, I got, eh?" He said.
"I missed you, I had a shit day today honestly and I was driving home and for some reason i ended up here. I'm crazy aren't I?" I said pulling away from our embrace and looking up at him and then covering my face.
"Do you wanna talk about it? Your not crazy babe I missed you just as much. I'm glad your here." He said removing my hands from my face and holding my hand with his and caressing my knuckles.
"No I just want to forget about it honestly. Are you busy? I'm sorry." I said suddenly realizing that he must be having a whole like session or whatever with her.
"Hush, come on and see what I was doing. Well she was doing." He said dragging me down the hall to the beautiful living room.
When we got there, her little sit up was there in the middle of the room and I saw her working on some blonde haired guys bare back. She turned to us and she smiled at me in a more apologetic way before she went back to working on this guys shoulders and back. He was a groaning mess and she would laugh at his comments.
"Justin this is Yvette. Yvette that is Justin over there sounding like a dog in pain." He laughed covering his mouth with the back of hand.
The blonde guy looked up over at us and he gave a quick smile and nod, "nice to finally meet the mystery girl could've been under better circumstances." He said before another groan came out and he put his face back down.
I tried to hide my laugh by placing my face on Shawn's arm and laughing lowly. He was a laughing mess and so was the Dr. Justin stuck his middle finger up at them with his head still buried down.
"Once I'm done with him, I can finish you off." She said looking over at Shawn.
He nodded and looked down at me winking and then dragging me into the kitchen area.
"You hungry? There's a shitload of leftovers." He said opening the fridge and placing all these containers on the granite counter right across from him.
I walked to the counter and I placed my bag on the side of one of the chairs and removed my jacket before I sat on barstool like chairs.
"Not really? But this looks good , so maybe?" I said laughing at my indecisiveness.
Once he took four huge containers out he grabbed bottled waters and he closed the doors. He began opening one of the containers and it was a Cesar salad. He showed me it and I nodded okay.
He placed it in front of me and handed me a plastic fork.
"So How was the meeting with the boss man?" I asked making conversation as I began to eat some of the salad.
"Well he thinks I need to take a small hiatus since this last tour is just about over. It was my biggest one yet. But I just don't know what I'm supposed to do if I take a break, this is all I love to do. So it was a lot of back and forth and me trying to negotiate with him." He said leaning on the counter and placing his hands over his hair as he bowed his head down deep into thought.
"What are you most scared of taking a hiatus? Truthfully? Do you think your fans will forget you? The music industry? What's your fear?" I asked bluntly.
He brought his head up and his hands ran down the side as he sighed with his eyes closed.
"I'm scared of not ever being enough. I feel like I have so much more I can do I can explore and offer not just with my music but with myself. My music is my outlet and it's my happiness, has been for the last 6/7 years. What if I can't be happy outside of my music, all the traveling and everything it comes with it is luxury but if all I had was just my guitar and my voice I would still be happy. But now I have to prove myself to music people and my fans."
"You have already proved so much, you have made your indent in the music world. Sold out tours, stadiums, two Grammy nominations, countless awards, shows left and right. Your fans they love you to much to ever let you be forgotten. You've accomplished so many things in such a short period of time that's amazing and then to still stay as humble as you are, that's scary. If you can't be happy without your music and in life how are you ever expected to keep making the music you love. You have to live life in order to make music that people relate to and love and can't forget. Your in your prime, breaks work when it's healthy not rehab involved breaks. Look at all the artist who took 1 and 2 year breaks and came back like a wrecking ball. They lived life or finally buckled down and wrote their truths and people related heavy with it. This last album was your introduction to adulthood now you gotta live that out and explore it all for it's worth. Good, bad, and everything in between."
He looked over at me and he seemed to be taking it everything I had just said.
"Do you know your the first person to ever really listen to me and give me something that wasn't bullshit or text book. How?" He said moving towards me making me stop eating and look into his eyes.
"I guess because in a way I can relate with not feeling like I'm enough in my own life but I also know the moment I started to be truthfully with myself it became easier for me to just be a human because being human is complex as fuck. I've had the bad and everything in between now I'm trying to work on my happiness. I don't like bullshit so I don't like giving it to people." I said.
"Your very inspirational with your words. Thank you." He said kissing my forehead and wrapping his arms around me in a bear hug way.
"No problem. When you write your biography just don't forget to mention a little of this moment." I laughed wrapping my arms around his torso.
"Never." He said laying his chin on the top of my head.
We stood like this for a few moments.
I felt his heart beat as we stood like this and it honestly was the most soothing sound to me at that moment.
"This is crazy, you do know that right?" I said into his chest.
"Yes, I'm aware. But I'm glad it's with you." He said holding on tighter.
"What about when you live to go back home? What happens to us?" I asked feeling tears burn my eyes.
He didn't talk but I could feel his heart beating a little faster.
I moved out of our embrace, I wiped the small tears away and sniffed.
He looked at me, I couldn't hold his graze.
"Yvette.. I..."
"Shawn are you ready?" Dr. Jocelyne asked breaking whatever moment we were about to have as she walked in the kitchen.
He cleared his throat and he stepped back and turned to her his demeanor quickly changing and he smiled at her and gave her the 1 minute sign.
She left the room.
He turned back to me and could tell he knew I was either gonna cry or bolt the hell out of there.
"Please don't runaway from me again Yvette. Stay here with me tonight and we'll figure this all out. Just don't runaway I'm begging you." He said touching my cheek softly and kissing me lightly before he walked away to go to the living room.
Once he was gone I stood sitting on that bar stool chair alone and my heart and mind were all over the place.
What should I do?
What can I do?
Run.
This isn't going to end up the way you picture in your head Yvette. He's not gonna stop his entire life to make you his girlfriend his music is his life and that's all he has time for. Your just a filler for now. You know better than anyone,
There's no such thing as happy endings.