A few weeks passed and I was going out of my mind with each day falling my anxiety rose ten fold. Y/N didn't have to worry about living expenses since the college and the internship were paying for it. Which was insane cause I did my research and not many pay for it. They'd usually offer a housing stipend.
I needed to make sure if she'd be okay and not struggle so much- or at least come out in debt. These kinda things fuck you over and I wanted her protected. She had already started to pack up and she'd leave the day school ends. I was thinking of putting in a transfer to another dorm since I noticed literally everywhere else had better dorms.
More space, an actual bathroom, and a small little kitchen- I don't cook but it would be nice to have. Even if I had driven myself almost insane this entire school year and experienced more stress than I've ever had in high school... I finally had a vacation. Without the one person I wanted to spent it with but at least I could save up to buy her a ticket for Christmas in seven months.
I had watched her spirit get so hyped each day that passed and I really loved it. I just knew I would have the biggest separation anxiety I've had. She was like my second home and I would be left here. Maybe I should just go with her and see how it is, I just didn't want to distract her. Then again if I wasn't there who would comfort her and rub her shoulders if she got too stressed? I already missed her and she was leaving tomorrow.
At the very moment we were standing in the middle of a circle of nothing but food pods. Food trucks were like one of Portland's go to and was a must go for visitors. Y/N was standing with me with her hands in her black basketball shorts. She was looking up at each menu wondering what she was gonna get in her grey campus hoodie. She was really fucking with my emotions today.
The black backwards dad hat perched on her head was giving me all of the feels I needed today. I didn't even want food anymore but I was quickly brought back down to earth when I saw someone with cheese fries.
"I want that." I whispered as I hung on her arm and she looked down at me.
"I want some Thai." She mumbled and then looked around at two of the different Thai pods.
"Yeah, fuck it." She walked us up to the food truck that I wanted and she ordered for me.
"Yeah, just load the hell out of it." She chuckled as they quickly started to make my order.
She pulled me into her side and I took notice at how closer she's been this past week. There was not a full minute that went by when she wasn't touching me. Holding my hand for dear life or wrapping her arms around me. We had gotten compliments up the ass and of course I wasn't complaining but I wondered what was wrong. While we got our wonderful looking food we walked back to her truck which was literally a block away.
Finding parking in downtown Portland was a bitch and don't get me started on the people on Alder Street. Which is where we were at due to all the food trucks and pods. There were so many collections of foods that I could literally eat at different trucks three times a day for weeks. I couldn't afford that, sadly enough.
"Hm fuck." She moaned with a mouthful of her Thai curry chicken fried rice.
I looked down at my own food that was fries loaded with cheese and I fell in love with her even more, "You always feed me so well." I fake cried and she smiled at me with a stuffed mouth.
She then playfully reached over and swiped a fry from my little tray. I looked at her through squinted eyes and she squinted back, silently challenging me. Then I just giggled looking back to my food then glancing at hers.
"Okay, give me some." I mumbled as I reached over and she twirled the noodles with her fork.
I patiently waited with my mouth open and she put her hand right underneath the fork. She playfully flew it to my mouth as if I was a child and I giggled. My lips enclosed around it and she slipped the fork from my lips as I chewed. I closed my eyes at the taste and grabbed her hand carefully so I wouldn't accidentally make her spill her plate.
"Okay." She suddenly adjusted herself in her seat until she was facing me.
She finished chewing and set her plate on top of the dashboard and grabbed my face. I giggled softly as she stared me in my eyes while her lips looked more kissable due to the juice from her food.
"You and I... I'm gonna take you on so many dates when I come back." She randomly spoke out and I chuckled through my confused frown.
"Like three dates a week." She threw up her hands before she fixed her hat.
"No- a date everyday, I'll figure something out." She shrugged before reaching for her food again.
I lovingly gazed at her and sighed as if I was in a dream, "I'm so happy you're mine." I whispered and she looked at me again with the cutest smile.
"Me too." She quipped and I giggled deeply.
She took another mouthful of her food before she put her truck in gear. She pulled off with a hum of the song that suddenly came on and I stabbed my fries with a fork. All the while we drove back towards her dormitory building, I looked at the bag by my feet; we had went to Powell's bookstore. We had spent most of our time there today, looking around the humongous bookstore. One of the bests I've seen. I eventually had gotten a couple for my collection that I was starting to build up.
Bukowski's Love Is a Dog from Hell along with Women and Rupi Kaur's Milk and Honey. Feeling all the intensity of the love I was experiencing now was gonna intensify ten fold during my reading. It's gonna suck when she's not gonna be here to fulfill my hopeless romantic needs. Again, I already missed her.
When she parked in her normal spot she turned to me with another smile. She grabbed her food happily and took another mouthful of her food. We sat peacefully until we finished our food and we piled out of the truck till we were up in her apartment. I said my quiet hello's to her roommates as she held my hand- leading me to her room. I cleared my throat as the door shut and I took a look around her room.
Her clothes were no longer in her closet and her blankets were neatly tucked into her bed. Her entire room was clean and I knew it was because she was leaving tomorrow morning. I bit my lip feeling my anxiety peek up again and she tugged my hand after she tossed her keys against her desk. My head was tucked underneath her chin and she rubbed my back.
"Just come with me." She whispered and I shook my head, maybe I was a little stubborn.
"We gots to deals with da distance sometime." I awkwardly said as I poked her back and closed my eyes.
Why? Why.. the fuck do you have to be weird?
"Doesn't have to be today." She leaned back to look at me and her eyes captivated my soul.
"I want you to come with me, Bello." She looked at me with the most sincere look and it tugged at my heartstrings.
I then started to break, "O-Okay." I looked away and her eyes brightened as her body just perked up.
"In a month." I settled and her shoulders slumped.
"But babe." She groaned and it was legit the most precious thing in the world.
"What?? I cut it in half, I'll see you in about three weeks." I crossed my arms and she clenched her hands before rolling her eyes.
"Fine." She mumbled looking away and she sat down on her bed.
I rolled my own eyes at her pouting and sat next to her as she slumped in her own seat. I leaned over to squeeze her cheeks with my one hand and turned her head to me. I softly giggled at her squished lips and leaned in to kiss them.
"Stop pouting." I whispered and she looked me in my eyes.
"You give me less anxiety, I need you around." She admitted through a mumble and I leaned into her again.
"Then I hope expecting me in a month will give you less anxiety and give you some excitement." I then kissed her lips again and again until she eventually started to reciprocate.
"I hate you." She grumbled against my lips before softly pushing me back against her pillows.
I giggled against her lips as her tongue tangled with mine and her fingers found mine. She interlocked our fingers and pressed them besides my head once again. I then started to feel my heart start to beat much rapidly than before. Her hat fell off and tumbled to the floor as I wrapped my arm around her neck. When she leaned back up to catch her breath her eyes nervously flickered down to my lips.
"Hi." She randomly spoke up and my smile widened.
"Hi." I giggled at her nervous blab before my hand slid down till I tugged on her ear.
"Come here." I whispered softly as I started to pull her down again and we both smirked.
We knew what was going to happen next and I was impatient.
Her lips laid upon mine in a soft haste while my tongue swiped across her bottom lip. She adjusted her body until she was lightly hovering over me. Her hips pressing right against mine and I could feel herself. Either she didn't have any underwear on or they were extremely thin. This entire day was building up silently for me, I had an eye on it since she got out of the shower this morning.
The imprint was everything.
It was so prominent today and I really started to believe the sight of it was more life changing than actually seeing it. I think she was more nervous to have sex than I was in general. I didn't wanna scare her but I just wanted her, all the time. So, I slightly ran my hands under her hoodie and tugged up wanting her to have less clothes on.
She then leaned up to hurriedly take off her hoodie which led me to giggle as she almost fell off the bed. She threw her hoodie somewhere and I tugged her shirt up as well. She helped me take off my own shirt as she reached over my head once again. Her hand shuffling through the items on her windowsills. Then suddenly she pulled back after a few things fell to the floor.
I saw the familiar gold packet and I pulled her down again, my kisses more fervent and rapid. Something was a little different from last time, I was way more less nervous and I knew what to expect. I just didn't want to be in pain for three days again. Her smile radiated through the room which only made me laugh as I started to see the excitement bounce off of her.
My eyes glanced down at her lap just to see herself pressing harshly against her shorts. I could see the dark, bubbly scar right at her pelvis where her shorts were sagging a bit. Luckily she didn't notice my gaze and she stripped me from my bra. That's when I felt her twitch and her head leaned down against my chest. Her lips enclosed around my erect nipple and I pressed my palm against the back of her head.
I arched into her and I felt her hand slide in between our bodies to help herself out. I heard the packet softly crinkle by my head as she held herself up with the condom in her hand. Her hand gripped herself to keep herself from rubbing against me. I eventually pushed her up so I could put an end to any self touching.
Quickly kissing her lips as I tried to pull down my own jeans while she started to kiss down my neck. Her breath tickled my skin causing me to breathe out a giggle. Her warm hands caressing my skin as I finally got my legs out of my jeans. I could feel my underwear becoming much more uncomfortable to wear by each passing minute. Luckily she pulled them off just as quick and I was now completely free of clothing on her bed. I snapped at her shorts and she pulled back once again as she decided to slide them down.
My assumptions were correct when her shaft sprung out with a light sway. She looked towards her door just to quickly get up and lock it, "Can't trust nobody in this house." She mumbled as she made her way back to me.
I pulled her back down with a smirk as I gave her the golden packet. She spread my legs seductively as she kneeled right in between them. She ripped open the condom and I watched her as I felt an overwhelming sense of lust wash over me. She slid the slippery rubber over her throbbing meat and she bit her lip.
"You're okay?" She asked me as she adjusted herself on top of me.
The weight of her member against my wetness, lightly gathering it as her tip rubbed my clit. She waited for an answer as my eyes closed at the feeling. I forgot she even said anything as the need for her to be inside me overclouded everything. I softly gripped her wrist as she guided herself against my entrance. She smirked as she poked herself in once again and I sighed deeply.
As she went to pull out I shook my head hooking my leg around her hip, "Just hurry and love me." I whispered against her neck as I bucked my hips to let her slide in deeper.
"I will, give it a second." She whispered and ever so slowly pulled back with the slickness of my wetness.
Her arms flexed and I looked down to see her scar stretching as she leaned up. I didn't know why but seeing her completely bare and I could see all her flaws, it really fucked with me. It turned me on to the max and don't get me started on her veins. I was such a cardiovascular whore and she knew it. I could tell she was helping me adjust to her girth once again since the movements were becoming too slow. Yeah, it was uncomfortable but it wasn't as bad as the last time.
I just needed to get used to this and her being so careful with me, I mean, I was happy that she was being careful; guys wouldn't even care. They think it's normal for a girl to hurt the first few times which is one of the reasons why I never gave my virginity up to Michael. I believed I waited for the right one and right now, as she caressed my body to make me more comfortable I knew I made the right choice.
"So good." I husked and kissed her neck pulling her down once again.
Her movements became a little rushed as her hips came down against mine in a strong pat. Each time she pumped into me my eyes rolled back. My fingers clutched onto the back of her neck running through her hair. She nipped at my neck and then attacked my sweet spot underneath my ear. She pulsed inside of me as my walls clung to her in a desperate need of pleasure. I gasped out as I felt her hit a certain spot within my body and my body suddenly felt extremely light.
I instantly got tingles down my back as she hit that spot again and all the small pain that I experienced, left. Straight up left my body as the most beautiful feeling came over me. I let out a moan as she started to thrust more rapidly as her stomach flexed against mine. She grunted deeply as I scratched at her back trying my hardest to cling onto something.
I had felt this weird extreme deep tingle right underneath my belly or near it that it made me wanna whine out. It almost brought tears to my eyes to how good it felt and her body felt so nicely on top of me. She wet her lips as her arms stretched up and gripped her headboard. The sun shining into the room which only made it seem much hotter than it actually was. It was such a nice day today.
I could feel the heat that was building up which caused our bodies slick with sweat. I moaned throughout the room, completely forgetting that she had roommates. Her hands gripped the headboard as her body leaned up and suddenly she gave me her all. I lost it and my body was sent to heaven.
She deeply stroked and pounded me into the mattress causing me to fucking die. I was literally all new to this and even if it was a deep uncomfortable pressure there was this overwhelming sense. It was earth shattering and as her sexy fucking ass pounded me into oblivion I heard my phone ring. I obviously ignored it as I harshly tugged on her hair. My hands nailed down her back as my heart pounded.
"Y/N." I tried to get her attention and her hips slowed down in deep, long, strokes, "O-Oh fuck." I shuttered and I caught the fuckboyish look she gave me.
She swirled her hips expertly as she deep stroked causing me to grasp at her sides. I bit my lip loving the feeling of just her in general and she leaned down; slowly and seductively sucking my sweet spot. She had no reason to be nervous if she was this good- how could her ex ever give this up? She's perfect.
I whined as I heard the headboard hit the wall causing the windows above us to lightly shake. I groaned loudly as my toes curled and I acted out what I felt like I needed to. I bit her shoulder causing her to yell out and I quickly tried to soothe it with my tongue. I quickly whispered my apology as her thrusts paused. I kissed up her neck and as she breathed heavily against my neck.
"Come on, baby." I whispered again against her ear before tugging at it with my teeth.
Y/N leaned up again looking me in my eyes before hooking her hand right in between the crook of my leg. She pulled my leg up firmly to her hip as she pumped into me once again. The squelching of our sexes echoing while I turned my head, squeezing my eyes shut as I felt the tingles rise. Y/N moaned to herself before groaning almost in irritation.
She pulled back and tested my flexibility- for a split moment I panicked hoping I wouldn't freak out. I was having new experiences new lengths and I was feeling so much all at the same time. I gasped loudly as she hit that one spot within me and I knew I was going to crash. She too shuttered as my walls clenched each time she withdrew from me.
My legs spread as my hands gripped the bed sheets causing her to keep at it. Her breathing became even more uneven and her own hands gripped the pillow beside me.
"Camila-" She cried out as I massaged her thrusting shaft.
And I could feel it rising, each second passing, that familiar tingle running up my back. I breathed in quickly as if I was hyperventilating and I felt everything start to just clench up. I let out a guttural moan and that bubble bursted when she thrusted right on that spot. Her teeth sinking into my neck which I didn't mind unlike to her.
"Y/N fuck!" I accidentally yelled out and I slammed myself back down with deep breaths.
Y/N whimpered into my neck as her hips stuttered and soon after my release she followed. I held her tightly as she filled up the condom as she tried her best to draw out my sudden orgasm. I gulped harshly as I looked around blinking so my eyesight wouldn't fade out. I cleared my throat as she slickly pulled out of me and she carefully removed the now white smeared condom. She tied up the rubber and tossed it in the trash before collapsing next to me.
"I love you." I admitted breathlessly and she gave me a cute smile.
"I love you too." She chuckled before looking around and that's when I heard the total silence.
Fear spread through me knowing I had to walk out sometime today, especially now. I had to pee- it was always good to pee after sex which I've read. I've read a lot to help myself accept the fact that I'd be okay losing it. Look at me now, getting great sex with the woman I love. She kissed my neck softly to smooth down what was throbbing from her teeth.
"Oh God, your roommates." I whispered and she waved me off.
"I hear them all the time- especially Lauren- actually... just Lauren." She commented and looked away causing me to softly chuckle.
As we laid there talking about anything I started to appreciate the way everything was so normalized. Her flaccid length was literally pressing against my thigh and I was laughing at a joke she made. I knew I could control myself most of the time but I also knew I was gonna miss this. She made everything so much better and normal. So, as she started to notice my hesitant behavior as I eyed the door she got up in all her glory.
She pulled me up as she slipped on her shorts again and pulled a shirt over my own head. It only covered half of my ass but I would only be out of the room for a couple seconds. She grabbed me playfully and we ran to the bathroom with loud giggles. As I sat down to do my business she started up a shower. She got in and as I started to walk towards the door after finishing up her head poked out the shower.
"Nuh uh, come here." She lured me in and I giggled as I climbed in taking off the shirt.
My body suddenly was showered with warm water and she wrapped her arms around me. Her head leaning against mine as we stood there underneath the water. I sighed to myself loving the way nothing was sexual right now. It was just... simple. She held me in a vulnerable position and one step could take us to another sexapade. But, no, she just held me, telling me she loved me.
Now this is what I believed what true love was- right now, she was accepting all of me. In all my bareness she loved me and I loved her.
"I love you."
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So... I got a job lmaaaooimaquitcauseitstrash
AND it's her birthday so y'all get a update ANNNNDDD I've decided Y/N's bday will be June 22nd!
But I hope y'all enjoyed and if you didn't then... fuck it idc y'all all garbage like the food I serve
Have a great day or night beautifuls x
- Maddie
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