His condo was everything you could imagine and so much more. It was warm, cozy and very clean for a guys apartment. He had a lowly lit candle in the middle of his coffee table, and it smelled of French vanilla. The beautiful CN tower was the prefect type of background over the dark city, it was breathtaking for sure of a view in person. I understood why Shawn loved to take a picture of it so much and share with his fans.
"It's beautiful isn't? I can stare at the window for hours sometimes getting lost when I need a moment to myself." He said from me behind me. I looked over my shoulder at his frame as he hung back holding a glass cup in his hands and his other hand in his pocket.
"I can imagine." Was all I said as I turned back to the gigantic window, trying not to feel the nerves that were exploding in my body at the moment.
I couldn't believe I was really in his apartment right now, and that it was just me and him.
He told me in the car "there's only you" and he literally made my mind turn into mush and my body ignited in an inferno that needed to be tamed by him and only him. But I wasn't going to go there with him, he's Shawn Mendes!
What does that even mean anymore? At this point it didn't even matter. Shawn Mendes invites you back to his condo and your here fighting with yourself.
I saw his reflection in the glass mirror, he was looking at me, the back of me at least and he seemed to be wrapped in his own battle with himself as well. He didn't seem nervous or shy, just like he wanted to make sure he took his time easing me into whatever this was or might be. I slowly let a breath out and did mantra breathing never leaving my site off his from the windows perceptive.
I turned to face him. He looked at me, standing there with his finger tapping lightly on the rim of the glass.
"Why did you bring me here?" I finally asked, fairly curious.
He cleared his throat as he placed the glass on a table under his flat screen that was mounted on his wall.
He looked at me once more.
" I wanted to be alone with you. I needed to be. As weird as it sounds right now that I said it out loud doesn't make it any less true. Everything you said outside of the bar I understood it, I found myself doing the same thing with you. I want to be in your world, I want to know what makes you happy, upset, laugh, confused and challenges you. Whatever it is I want to know. Do you understand what I'm saying Yvette?" He said slowly stepping towards me his eyes never leaving mine.
Yes. I hear everything he is saying but it's not registering because it can't be coming out of HIS mouth. Not me, or about me. He- he's.... this is a dream. I'm about to wake up in any minute.
"Yvette." I hear a stern like tone come from him but his expression is of concern and question.
All I can do is shake my head no as my mouth is now dry and my chest is racing and I can't move from my position.
"Yes, you. I'm talking about you. It sounds crazy and unbelievable but I always have said I would never rush into anything, I let things play out and if the feeling is there then it's there. The feeling is there for you, you make it a little hard to focus on regular everyday things, nothing to crazy and out of the normal but you invade my thoughts and I find myself wanting to see your beautiful face, hear that beautiful goofy smile when you really are laughing about something that tickles you truly. The way you look at me when I'm rambling about nothing but you just let me ramble and you look at me like I'm saying the most interesting thing." He said now being a few inches away from me but never taking his eyes off me still.
I gulped and I licked my lips to give them some moisture and I let out the breath I wasn't even aware I was holding. My heart raced and I felt it in the palm of my hands and heard it throbbing like mad in my ear drums.
"Don't say those things Shawn. This .. this is not supposed to be like that. I'm a fan, your you.." I said in a whisper feeling the heat of the tears in the back of my eyes begging to escape.
"And who exactly am I then, I'm still a guy who knows what he feels when he feels it. Your telling me you only see me for my title in the music industry? Bullshit. The way you talk about my music and how it helped you through some times that's you idolizing the artist that I AM but the moment you saw me in the cafe in London and you held my hand you knew just like me that I'm just a regular dude with insecurities but you didn't know me outside of whatever you saw in the media. That changed for both of us the moment we stood on the phone for hours, and then the night we broke day talking about everything. Im the same person, I'm Shawn Mendes the singer songwriter and Shawn Mendes the 21 year old guy who's fond over the mystery girl who followed me briefly on tour, saw on a flight, ran into not just LA. But also Brooklyn and again tonight." He said reaching for my hand and I didn't move away from his embrace as he closed his hand over mines.
"Your touching my hand." Was all I could say as my mind processed everything he just said.
He feels the same way as I do?
Everything in London wasn't a part of my active imagination, it was all real.
He is right about everything, but I can't just admit that. I would sound crazy.
He just bared it all out for you and your still worried about being a fool or crazy!
Shawn fucking mendes just confessed he likes you.
Fond.
"I know Yvette. Are you gonna always narrate when I touch you? Is that a thing you like to do?" He said half smiling to tease me.
My cheeks are hot.
I'm blushing!
Great now you look like a red ass tomato.
"No, sorry. It's just when you touch me... my body ignites into some form of heat." I slipped and I dropped my head down in pure embarrassment.
He then ran his fingers lightly up my arms and back down in slow strokes, he watched as his hands did those slow strokes and I saw the bumps rise from my skin that he touched. "How about that?" He said never looking away from my skin.
"Same thing." I whispered biting my lip slowly applying small pressure.
"Hmm, how about here?" He asked as his fingers wandered to my collarbone, from one side to the other he did slow swipes back forth.
The skin he touched that wasn't covered by my halter crop top felt like it would explode, my eyes closed as my breath hitch with every touch he left imprinted on me. I couldn't speak, in fear over this being a dream. I nodded and I could feel his smile growing.
"Look at me." He said in the most sexiest low husky voice that made my stomach stir. I did as he said and I saw his eyes, burning desire dripping from his whole aura.
The air felt thick now and it was like our bodies where I'm burning for one another. I couldn't bring myself to touch him I was suddenly not as brave as I was back in LA. I was like putty to him right now, he had me wrapped in his fingers and he knew that.
"I really want to kiss you." He said running his fingers up to trace along the outline of my lips. I allowed a small hiss to escape my lips, never taking my eyes off him even if I wanted to I couldn't.
He smirked, raising his eyebrow up to an arch a little as he took that as a yes. He leaned down towards my lips and I felt his breath meeting mines and he placed a slow peck on my lips before pulling back.
"How about there?" He asked with a hint of amusement.
My legs felt weak, I might fall over.
"Explosive." I said licking my lips slowly and something in me shifted.
He smiled before he went back to put his lips on mines again. The moment I felt his soft lips on mine I opened my mouth and took his bottom lip and began sucking on it softly and then I applied some pressure with my teeth. He moaned into my mouth and I knew he liked that and that's when I found my hands to his hair running my fingers all through it and then grabbing some hair and pulling softly.
He grabbed on to my hips and he applied pressure in return to what I did and I liked the sensation it sent to my body. He took that and went one step further and he gripped on my ass, grabbing a hand full as lifting me up off the ground, it became instinct like and I wrapped my legs around his waist.
We never broke from kissing as he laid me down his hallway to his bedroom.
"Are you sure? We can stop at any time you feel your not ready." He said breaking our kiss, still holding me up in his arms looking at me.
"Yes, I need you Shawn." Was all I could say lost in my own haze.
He pulled my escaped hair away from my face and he kissed me again before he laid me gently down on his bed, his leg in-between my heat as I pushed up to the top of the bed.
Our eyes met and he smiled once more before he stood up in front of me removing his shirt over his head.
I stood in awe at the beautiful man standing before shirtless, his chest moving up and down fast but controlled his chain nestled between his small patch of chest hair, and his soft pack.
"I've needed you Yvette." He said as he came towards me slowly inching my leather skirt up as he planted small kisses on the sides of my thighs and insides. He was Getting dangerously close to my heat, his hands continued to push my skirt up till it was on waist and my panties where exposed. He kissed me on my hip bone and before I could react he kissed me there. My mind exploded in lust and my head met his pillow in a fury as I arched my back and grabbed his hair tight around my fingers.
"Oh Shawn."