It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go, but i'm doing it.
Chapter Three- Dealing With A New Family
It's already been a week and a half since I got to New York. Days seemed to be so fast.
But whenever thoughts about Trent, mom and dad lingers on my mind, every minute seemed to be as long as an hour. Everything slowed down. I can't help but frown and even start crying sometimes.
I miss them so much. I wonder if I ever cross their minds.
I was snapped back out of my thoughts when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door. It was Aunt Jeniffer.
"Hey sweety. How are you?" She asked with a smile.
"Err, i'm... I'm fine." I answered but sounding a bit unsure.
"Are you sure? Coz I don't think you look like one. Hmm. Let me guess, you already miss the Sparks, am I right?" I replied with just a nod. She seemed to understand me because she hugged me as she draw circles on my back with her warm hands.
"I'm sorry Aunt. I just can't hide it. I, I missed them. Specially Trent although he's not talking to me since like about month or two even before I got here." That's where salty water started streaming down my face.
"I completely understand sweety. You can express your thoughts with me. If you want? It's just that, I don't want to see you feeling so bad. I just want to do my role as your Aunt." She muttered in a concerned tone. Since I felt comfortable with Aunt, maybe because she's my aunt, I decided to open it up to her.
I told her everything about me and the Sparks. Even those problems about me and Trent and issues about people making a big issue about how I look with my body. I think she understood everything. Oh, thank God for giving me a Aunt Jeniffer.
"Okay. So now it's clearer to me." She said after I told everything to her. "You're beautiful Rachelle. Always remember that." Oh c'mon. I know that she only said that because she is my Aunt.
"Oh Aunt Jeni. Please stop kidding me.." I spoke in a low voice, loosing my self esteem. My mind was saying that HELLO? How can someone think that your beautiful if everyone stares at you like a complete no one? And please, take note of the fact that people thinks you're fat with that size!
"Don't you trust me Rachelle? For me you're beautiful. I'm not only saying this because I am your aunt but because it's true." She stated giving that as-a-matter-of-fact tone.
"I believe you. Yes I do. But auntie, not everyone has the same way of thinking as you do. You may find me beautiful or whatever but others see me as a fat nerd." I replied in a cracking voice. That stopped her. See? I was right.
"Okay. But, not everyone also thinks that way. You should always take note of that. You should now start moving on darlin'. Carlisle is seven hours away from here with a plane. Those old mates of yours are way too far for you to keep in mind. You'll be entering your new school in two days. You should start preparing for it. Cheer up." She's such a nice woman.
"Okay. But, can I ask how is the papers with regards to my name goin?"
"Oh that. Well, my lawyer is currently working on the affidavit. The Sparks changed only your last name with theirs when you were only two months old. They have your parents approval before they died because they are really close with them and your parents entrusted you to them. The usual process takes a long time. But don't you worry. I have lots of connections to make the process move faster." She ensured. I nodded in content.
We went downstairs to have our dinner. Ethan, his son who is my only cousin was already sitting comfortably on his place and aunt's husband in the person of Mr. Ray Danes was also there. Uncle Ray greeted me with a smile.
"Good evening Rachelle. You make take your seat now. Dinner's ready." I smiled back as I took my seat.
"Thanks uncle." Ethan looked at me after I answered.
"Did you..Cried?" He asked.
"Yes yes. But you don't need to ask her why son." Aunt answered for me.
Ethan and I has the same age. But he's six months older. He's pretty tall. Has those manly muscles and has a well built bod. Well to tell you honestly, my cousin looks hot. Yeah. He does. He has that brown wavy locks and those piercing gray eyes that you'd always love to look at. And oh, did I mentioned that he's on the football team? Yes! He is! No wonder why girls always go crazy for him. He's also cool, nice and fun to be with based on my calculations for my first week staying with them. We're not that close but we talk and sometimes joke around.
When we finished eating, Ethan spoke.
"So, when is my cousin Rachy going to school?" He asked his mom but he's looking at me smiling sheepishly.
"The day after tomorrow. You better go and introduce her to some friends of yours so that she'd be able to have some friends." Aunt answered.
"Oh. Okay. But..."
"What?"
"But mom..." He looked away from me. "No offense to Rachy. But you know how my pals go. I mean... Ugh, it's really hard to explain."
I got it. I understand what my cousin in trying to say. "Ethan? Yea. It's okay. I know. I understand. Your friends are only capable of being friends with someone who's popular, pretty and skinny. What can I say, they have their reputations to protect. It's fine." I said in a cool tone though it hurts inside but I tried to act at my best so that Ethan will not be feeling that bad for me.
Ethan just shut up. Looking guilty about what I said. So that means i'm once again correct. Geez. Why can't I be thin like other girls?? Because you're lazy to work out Rachelle. My other side spoke. Ugh. Yes I am.
Whenever I try to do a 'workout', my entire body weakens then my mind shifts from thinking about losing weight to thinking about good foods to eat. Another is... I love sweets so much. That's why I have this size.
***
The next day went well. Aunt Jeniffer and I went out shopping for my school which is going to start tomorrow. She's even more excited than me.
When i'm currently having a walk on the school stuffs section, my eyes widened when I saw a One Direction book on one of the book shelves. Yeappp! I'm a Directioner. Haha. I smiled when I saw my five boys on the cover. It reminded of Carlisle and my brain flashed the thoughts of 'maybe i'll have a bigger chance to see them if I still live there' which made me frown.
Aunt saw me holding the book. "Do you like that book? I'll go buy it. C'mon." I cocked my head like a crazy little hungry kid that was about to get a piece of chocolate. Heck yes! 1D makes me happy. My iPod has all of their songs that I listen to every night. I know all of their song's lyrics with all of my heart. How's that? Aha.
Aunt bought me several books that may help me with my studies, dresses from American Eagle, Aeropostale, Wetseal and Abercrombie and Fitch, shoes, bags and even some 1D stuffs! Shopping with Aunt Jeni was amazayn! I love it!
I felt tired but really happy when we got home. I logged on to my Facebook account before I go off to bed. It's been a week since I last checked my account. I was surprised to see messages from my old friends in Doncaster asking me how was my life in New York going and some other questions just like that. Most of them are Directioners too because Louis, a member of 1D was from there. That's why I became a Directioner. Well, we lived in Doncaster before we moved to Carlisle.
Nextly, I can't help but to check out Trent's profile so I typed his name and clicked. I was taken aback when I saw that his relationship status has already changed in to single just yesterday. Aha! Thank goodness he finally opened his eyes and saw that Sarah is not for her. In the first place Sarah is the one who asked Trent for him to be his girl friend. How awkward.
I turned my stalker mode on and read some comments.
Dan Edwards: Haha. I knew you two will end up being single. Knowing Sarah, she never gets tied down.
Trent Sparks: i know. so do i. aha. we've decided not 2 count our relationship. u know, being friends with benefits is the best! aha.
Sarah Edwards: yea. x
So, they are now friends with benefits? Whatever. I scrolled down his profile I haven't found anything interesting until I saw Karl's post on his wall.
Karl Evans: i heard that ur piggy lil cuzzy transferred dude!
Trent Sparks: yep i know
Karl Evans: well u must be glad. aha
Sarah Edwards: haha! i'll b d one 2 answer 4 trent. yesss. he's sooooo fvcking glad!
I can't take it anymore so I decided to log out... Why am I still affected with what they are saying? I have to start removing them into my mind and move the hell on.
I hate my self for crying whenever I see or hear something bad about me. I easily get mentally hurt. I don't know why but it sucks!
I plumped my self down to my bed and stared at those pictures placed on my desk. I can't help the tears that is streaming down my face every time I remember all of my happy moments with the Sparks.
I missed the feeling of having a brother beside you, someone to protect you, someone to care for you and someone to make you smile whenever you feel down. But that 'someone' was gone long time ago since I entered Carlisle High.
I closed my eyes, hoping for a miracle to happen. I wish every awful thing that happened were all just a stupid dream...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: Just ignore the mistakes for now. I'll fix those when I have time. ^_^ Sorry if you think it's boring but you'll meet some new characters in the next chappie! Just keep on reading/voting/commenting! Ahaha.
xxx
Shoutout to: Lurve_Chace_Crawford :D
Twitter-----> @aprilgrace014