It's been 5 days since Liam and I had our fight. I felt bad for over reacting. I realized that the haters are just jealous that I've been Best Friends with Liam since we were kids. I planned on apologizing but it seems like Liam doesn't seem to need me anymore.
"...Maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore!!"
He's been spending more time with the lads and Shirley lately while I spend my time with Nessy and Alex. I talk to the boys except for Liam. Every time I run into them, I just give them an a acknowledging nod then walk away.
The 1st week of class seemed alright. The main focus now is the Semester Showcase, the trip to Eastbourne and West Side Story.
Mrs. Roberts decided to continue with the West Side Story plan. She says the play's gonna happen around November, and then a month after that is the semester showcase. She opened the audition to all the students. Clearly because West Side Story is a musical. We need some dancers, singers and actors. She asked me and Rene to audition as Tony and Maria. The auditions are gonna be held on Monday afternoon. I hope I nail it.
I wanna play Maria. And it's a huge deal, I'm only a college freshman and Mrs. Roberts already asked me to play a major role in a major production! Who the heck wouldn't be honored?!
"What do you think should I sing for the West Side Story audition?", I asked Nessy and Alex. We were playing monopoly in Alex's dorm which is in the Chambers Building.
"I don't know.", Alex shrugged. "Use your broadway magic!", he added. Nessy agreed. I smirked. I haven't chosen a song yet. I need to pick one already, the audition's in 2 days.
"Are you guys planning on auditioning?", I asked. "I actually plan on auditioning as one of the Female Sharks. I know chances are 1 in a million but it wouldn't kill me to try.", Nessy answered. I nodded, I love Nessy. She's positive and confident.
We both turned to Alex who was trying to concentrate on our game of monopoly. "How about you Alex?", Nessy asked. "Huh?", Alex asked. There were red streaks on his face for some weird reason and he looked nervous too. What's going on?
"Do you have any plans in auditioning for West Side Story?", I asked. Alex's face turned tomato red. He got up and went to the mini fridge across his table. "Anyone want some tea?", he asked. "What's up Alex?", I stood up and crossed my arms. "What are you not telling us?", Nessy asked.
Alex knew better than to hide from Nessy and me. He knows that Nessy and I interrogate (haha).
"I want to audition as one of the Jets, but I don't think I'm good enough.", he said. Nessy and I looked at each other then we both looked at Alex. "I'm always nervous when I'm on stage. I always get ridiculed. People laugh at my glasses and the way I dress up! The only reason I got in here was because my sister recorded a video of me singing in my room without knowing. She sent it to the principal here then yeah, I made it...", he kept explaining.
Nessy and I looked at each other. We felt sorry for Alex. People tend to wonder how he got in this school because he gets nervous easily and people say he doesn't have "swag".
He can't see how amazing and talented he is. Nessy and I have heard him sing already and he's great. He's like a Bruno Mars, Jason Mraz, Adam Levine collaboration. He can rap too. Eminem's his hero. He can definitely be one of the Jets if he ever auditions. All he needs is a confidence boost.
I'm gonna make that my mission. I'm gonna help Alex Small.
Alex finished and he looked down. He looked like he was about to cry since he just poured his heart out to 2 American girls. And one of those American girls has a plan (if you know what I mean).
The first step of the plan is to give Nessy the "I- need- some- help" look. I will probably regret this because Nessy knows the only things I ever needed help on were makeovers and Liam (ugh). Nessy saw the look I was giving her. Immediately, her eyes widened then she squealed. This caused Alex to look up and forget about his misery. He was curious why Nessy squealed.
"Really Julie?", she asked all excited. "You need another makeover! That's awesome!", she said. I just shrugged and said, "I don't need a makeover. But someone else does."
Nessy and I looked at Alex who looked nervous because of the cheeky smiles on our faces.
"I see.", Nessy smirked. Alex really looked nervous now. "Oh No.", he said. "OH YES!", Nessy and I said altogether. "You want to give me a makeover? What do you think am I? A gay?!', Alex snapped. Nessy and I just shrugged. "We won't give you make- up and crap, Alex. We're gonna change your style to something cool and comfy then we'll help you bring out your inner class.", I explained.
"Inner class?", Alex asked. "You mean swag?" Nessy rolled her eyes. "Swag is for boys. Class is for men.", she said. "We're gonna help you get your classiness and we'll give you some confidence boost!"
"Is this all because I said that I felt like I wasn't good enough for West Side Story?", Alex asked. Nessy and I looked at each other then said, "YES." Alex just sighed and sat on the floor. Nessy walked over and sat beside him. "Come on Alex!", Nessy smiled. "Can't you see how great you are? I bet you'd even be better than half the guys who'll audition for West Side Story on Monday. It wouldn't kill you to get some confidence boost so you can audition for the Male Jets. I'm sure you'll do great if you believe in yourself and be confident. Julie and I will help you. Just do the makeover, please?"
Alex looked at Nessy then he looked at me. A small smile was forming in his lips. He nodded, "Alright."
"YAY!!!!!", Nessy and I both cheered. Nessy then added, "We start tomorrow at 8 in the morning!!"
Oh My gosh, this girl. She loves these kinds of stuff.
"But if I end up sucking so bad. You guys have to answer that.", Alex smirked. We laughed and decided to go back to our monopoly game.
We were having fun again. Alex kept cracking up some jokes and random pick- up lines. There was a part when he and I end up arguing over monopoly because I ended up in jail. We were laughing our asses out too because Nessy got up to go and get some apple juice in the mini fridge but when she opened it, a lot of drinks and food spilled on the floor. We just kept laughing and laughing until I realized something.
Alex is such a great guy and he'd make an ideal Best Friend since he makes me and Nessy laugh. He's so awesome. And being friends with him, it reminds me of my friendship with Liam. It breaks my heart to think that he doesn't want to be friends anymore. I guess it's so painful because I'm secretly in love with him. I wanted to apologize but no, I shouldn't. He doesn't want to be friends anymore so be it. Oh well. Screw it. That's life.
We were laughing until my iPhone beeped. I had a text message. I took it out to see who sent me a message.
From: XxXxXxXxXxX
Hey Jay. It's Harry Styles, in case you don't have my number. I was just wondering if you'd like to have dinner tonight. Pick you up around 8? :)
PS, Better be on twitter tonight at 11. There's a surprise! :D
"Who is it?", Nessy asked. "Harry Styles.", I answered. "That guy's all over you Jules!", Alex laughed. I rolled my eyes.
For the twitter part, I haven't logged in since the hate thing. My name's all over twitter and I don't wanna see those rude comments from people who call themselves "directioners". And as for the Harry part. Well, Harry's not really my type and I'm sure the feeling's mutual. I'm really sure he doesn't see me that way but not everyone listens. Plus, I don't like to date guys like him for a lot of reasons: One, he's such a flirt. Two, he's got so many hook ups. Three, we're just friends and I think it's better that way.
I took out my phone, added Harry's number to my contacts then texted him back.
To: Harry Styles
Sure Haz! That'd be great. :)
-Julie
"What time is it?", I asked. Nessy looked at her watch. "7:30 PM", she answered. "Oh, crap!", I jumped up from the floor. Nessy and Alex just burst out laughing. I have 30 minutes to get ready. "Have dinner without me! Bye!", I yelled then I ran out of the Chambers Building.
I'm so stupid. Time flies so fast when you're messing around with 2 rascals (Don't get me wrong, I love them both). I ran to the Flores Building then ran to the hallway of my dorm. I glanced at my phone and saw that only 2 minutes have passed. Wow, panic made me run faster. Well, another is since I was looking at my phone, I bumped into something. I hit someone who had a hard chest since I fell on the floor. Stupid me.
"I'm so sorry!", I said. "I'm such an idiot. I wasn't looking. I should've been more aware of my--" I stopped talking because I was face to face with a person I didn't want to see right now. Liam.
He held out his hand but I didn't take it. I just stood up on my own. He opened his mouth but right before he could say anything, I just said "I have to go. I'm sorry again."
I walked to my room and changed into a casual dress that had a white top and a pink, floral bottom. It went well with my chocolate brown vintage belt and brown flats. I grabbed a white sling bag from my closet then I went to my vanity kit. Nessy wasn't here so I was on my own with make- up. I hate make- up so I just put some face powder and lip gloss. Thank God, I still look the same. I guess this is the natural look.
I heard a knock on my door so I went to open it. It was Harry. He looked nice. He wore some random, white shirt. He wore black jeans and black keds.
"Hi", he smiled. "Hey", I grinned. "Shall we go?", he asked. I nodded and answered, "Yeah. Leggo!"
Harry and I walked out of the Flores building then we walked to the parking lot of school. Oh, we're not having dinner here. I was just thinking of the cafe or something.
"Where are we going?", I asked. "Hakkasan Hanway Place. Best Chinese restaurant in London.", he said. I smiled. I love Chinese food.
We got in the car. He opened the door for me. I shrugged silently. Just silent enough that he won't hear. It's not that I don't appreciate him opening the door, it just makes me uncomfortable. I mean I have hands and all. Plus, I'm not a ladylike girl.
He drove and I sat in the front seat. He turned on his stereo and songs from their Up All Night Album began playing.
"So what's going on with you and Liam?", Harry asked out of nowhere. "What do you mean?", I asked. Did Liam talk about me? What did he say? Do the lads hate me now? I'm over thinking.
"Liam cried when he went back to the dorm a week ago. He said you guys had a huge row.", Harry said. "He said it was really bad and yeah." I just shrugged. Now he feels bad when he was the one who suggested that we shouldn't be friends anymore.
"We had a huge fight because of the twitter crap. People kept sending me rude and mean comments.", I said. "I know.", Harry nodded. "I saw the tweets. They were worse than the ones they tweet to Eleanor, Shirley and Danielle."
"I can't believe they thought I was using Liam for fame.", I shrugged. "It's alright Jay.", Harry smiled. "Liam really feels awful. He wants to talk to you but we all keep insisting on giving you space since that's what happened between Louis and Eleanor at first. That also happened when Liam first got together with his now ex, Danielle.", he explained.
The fact that the boys told Liam to give me some space is something I really appreciate. I really needed the space especially after what Liam said. After my conversation with Harry, I realize that maybe Liam didn't mean what he told me 5 days ago. I really feel awful for over reacting. The whole twitter hate isn't Liam's fault. It's the fault of the people who call themselves "directioners" but really aren't.
Plus, I love my Best Friend (more than he'll ever know or more than he loves me). I think I should go and apologize so we can fix our friendship.
"Thank you Harry.", I smiled. "You're welcome.", he grinned.
"Well, I guess I should talk to Liam now.", I sighed. "You better!", Harry laughed. "He keeps on moping around like a child since he's saying stuff like, 'I miss my Best Friend!' and 'Do you think Julie will ever forgive me?'. He's acting like baby who lost some kind of amazing action figure." I laughed at the thought of Liam doing that because in a way, it was sweet.
Throughout the ride, we talked about West Side Story. He tells me that he and some of the lads plan on auditioning as the Jets. Louis, however, wants to audition for the role of Doc. I laughed at that since Louis is a goofball and the character of Doc is totally serious. But Harry tells me that Louis has a minor course in acting. We just didn't have the same class. Harry tells me that he plans on auditioning for any of the Jets as long as he's a Jet.
I told him that I was auditioning for Maria and he says I'd make a perfect Maria. I blushed. I mean, who wouldn't get flattered? Maria is described as beautiful in the play. Now, that I realize it. Everyone really wants to be a part of this West Side Story scenario. Back in New York, my school didn't care about plays. They usually care about Football and stuff. Screw it now, I'm in a performing arts school.
"We're here.", Harry said.
I went out of the car and we went into this amazing Chinese restaurant. I ordered some steamed rice while Harry ordered some fried rice, We also ordered some dumplings. And then we started talking about random things again. I asked him about the hate this time.
"How do you guys deal with the haters?", I asked. Harry looked at me. "I know it hurts Jay. It's cyber bullying. We always feel responsible for the hate.", he said. "Louis, even until now, feels responsible for Eleanor. Liam used to feel responsible for Danielle but since they're over. The hate stopped. Shirley, well, she enjoys fame. She just makes come backs to haters."
"You're not answering my question Haz.", I said. He blushed. "Oh.", he smirked. "I thought it made sense." I shook my head and said, "What you said did make sense. It just didn't answer my question."
"Jay, you shouldn't care about what the haters say. They have no idea what's been going on between you and Liam.", Harry said. "You guys are Best Friends. They're just jealous that you have him and they don't. Don't worry about them, just ignore them. They aren't our fans if they hurt the people we care about."
I smiled. Harry was being too nice. I almost feel bad that he wasn't my type. But I have to stay true to my heart, and I'm inlove with Liam. No one else. I don't want the whole world to know yet, but someday. I will let them know, just not now.
************************************************************************************************************
Harry and I drove back to campus around 10. He walked me to my room and we stopped in front of the door.
"Thanks for tonight Harry.", I smiled. "No, thank you.", he smiled back.
He moved closer to me but he was hesitating. He seemed so unsure if he should do what he was about to do but he went on and did. His face was a few inches away from mine. His left hand touched my cheek. Oh, crap. He's going to kiss me. No, this isn't right. I have to stay true to myself and I'm not even in love with him. If I let him kiss me, I'll hurt him. I'll hurt myself. I'll hurt Liam.
I backed off and he looked down. He let go of my face and he looked disappointed.
"I'm sorry Harry.", I said. "I'm sorry too.", he said while pulling away from me.
"I didn't know you felt that way." I said, looking down. "I mean Nessy and Alex warned me that you might've. But I thought it was impossible and--" he cut me off by placing his finger on my lips.
'It's okay Jay.", he smiled. "I totally understand."
'I'm also sorry that I don't feel that way. Maybe you think I lead you and on and I feel so pathetic about it.", I sighed. "You're such a great guy and I feel so pathetic not liking you back because any girl would be lucky to have you, it's just that..." He finished my own sentence for me.
"Your heart is taken by someone else, is it?", he smirked. My eyes widened. I never told anyone and I always try my best not to show it. But this is Harry. I already hurt him through rejection so I guess I owe him the truth.
I slowly nodded. "It's Liam isn't it?", he asked. I felt my heart skip a beat. Was I that obvious?
"How'd you...??", I asked. He just laughed. "I've seen so many romantic movies Jay. Many of them were Best Friends since childhood, falling in love. That made me believe that it could happen in reality."
Wow Harry. Wow.
"Yes Harry. It's Liam. I'm in love with Liam.", I said. And it felt weird but, at the same time, good to admit it out loud. But it's true, and I need to stay true to myself.
"I won't tell Jay. Don't worry.", he smiled. "Really?", I grinned. "Unless you want me to.", he smirked. "Of course not!", I snapped. "I wouldn't want him to know! That's like the kiss of death of our friendship!" He just laughed at me.
"I won't tell. I promise.", he gave me a reassuring smile. I really feel bad for rejecting Harry. I really do, but I don't want to hurt him because I don't feel the same way.
"Are you mad at me Haz?", I asked. "Because of the--" he cut me off.
"Julietta Watson, I'm not mad at you. You are amazing and I'm glad you were so honest about how you felt. Liam is definitely lucky to have you in his life. I'm also glad that I met you and I can't wait for our frienship to become strong.", he smiled.
"Thank you Harry.", I smiled. "Can I ask you something?", Harry asked. I nodded. "Can I kiss you?", he asked. Just this once. But that doesn't mean that I'm leading him on. He knows that my heart is taken and the kiss is a reminder to him that I see nothing more than friendship between both of us.
I slowly nodded and then he pressed his soft lips against mine. There were no fireworks. There were no sparks. It was just a friendly kiss. We pulled away after 3 seconds and then he smiled at me.
"Thank you Jay.", he grinned. "Thank you too.", I smiled back.
He opened his arms, asking for a hug, "Friends?" I smiled and hugged him. Then I said, "Friends."
************************************************************************************************************
I entered the room and Nessy was waiting for me in the living room. Her eyes widened the moment she saw me. She then got up and ran to me.
"Did he kiss you?" "Where'd he take you?" "Did he ask you to be his girlfriend?"
I told her everything. Even the Liam part where I found out that I'm still in love with him. I told her about how Harry found out about how I felt and stuff. After my story, Nessy just stared at me.
"Are you really in love with Liam?", she asked. I was hesitant to admit it at first, but slowly I nodded. She squealed. "Wow Jules!", she chuckled. "You and Liam are better than Liam and Shirley!". I was speechless so I just smiled then dropped the idea. Even until now, the thought of Liam and Shirley makes me sick.
I'm so glad that Harry and I are still friends. I really am. It's such a huge relief that he took this whole rejection situation well. Of course he would, a lot of girls around the world would throw themselves at him and these girls are even prettier than me! Of course, it's not much of a loss. At that moment, I felt a vibrate in my phone. A text message.
From: Harry Styles
Make sure your on twitter now. Get ready for the surprise.
- Hazza
"Come on Ness!" I said, while grabbing my laptop on the coffee table. "Let's go on twitter and see what's One Direction's surprise for me!" She nodded and we sat on the couch and looked at my laptop.
I was scared. I stopped logging in twitter because of the hate. They were really saying mean stuff so might as well stop since they ain't worth your time. Now, my mind goes to ask what the surprise was. I guess I'll find out. I logged in twitter but didn't go to my mentions 'cause until now, it was still flooded with hate.
I checked the trends and one was #1Dtwitcam. I clicked on it and there was a livestream. It was Liam, Harry and Louis. They were joking around and talking. I didn't get the surprising factor. This was the surprise? I should ask Harry.
To: Harry Styles
Haz, I'm on twitter. I'm watching your twitcam. Is this the surprise? :)
-Julie
I turned my attention back to the screen. It was funny since Harry took out his phone the moment my text message was sent.
"Who is that Harry?" Louis asked from the screen. I looked at the viewers and there were over 1, 000, 000 viewers. Crap, what's the surprise?
Harry wasn't paying attention. He read the message then whispered something to Liam then he turned to his phone again. WHAT THE HECK?!
My phone vibrated and I took it out.
From: Harry Styles
Get ready Jay! -Hazza :)
I shrugged and focused on the screen again. Louis and Harry were on Liam's sides. Liam was facing the camera and was getting ready to talk.
"Hello everyone. I'm Liam," he smiled. "And I'm here to talk to you about Julie Watson."